Not doubts as such. There are times that it is very hard and some shifts I fell I will never be able to do this and others I think it will be possible. Missing the kids is hard sometimes, as are other bad things that happen, where you question whether you can go on (my Mum died at Christmas)

I am always having trouble with confidence, many midwives have big ego's and it simply isn't me, outward displays of massive confidence certainly are not my bag. Hence looking after women is no probs, but handovers and presentations are complete hell!

There are the worries about not being good enough, smart enough, being able to remember everything and most of all not to let the women down.

Not being able to keep up with all the academic demands as well as practical learning ones. Then there is the doubt as to whether I will be able to get a job at the end of it!

On the positive side, there is an enormous amount to know and you can never know it all, but you learn an awful lot and very quickly too.

I try really hard to fit in at the hospital, work hard and ask lots of questions. I miss my kids, but don't worry about them.

And I keep very close to me the postive sides to being a midwife and that in a couple of years i will be the midwife I want to be. Looking after women in the best way I can.

__________________