I was involved for the first time in a shoulder dystocia earlier today. Was meant to be my first catch, but the head just kept disappearing back, my mentor took over and all hell broke loose when she confirmed shoulder dystocia, I pulled the emergency bell, and tried to get out of the way but the lady would not let go of my hand. A room full of midwives sorted it out, but I was extremely overwhelmed and quite a bit shaken and teary. One midwife checked to see how I was, but I felt a fool. As this all happened just before my shift ended and I went to my car and promptly burst out crying. No idea why, and am now questioning myself, what the hell am I going to be like when an outcome is not a positive one, today mum and baby were fine and I was still emotional, what's that about?