Mine was changed slightly by my course tutor, but only after approval from me! And it was for the better!
At the end of the day, the tutor wants you to succeed in getting an interview and is going to help you in every way possible. In my opinion, they certainly wont depersonalise it as it needs to be your personal statement and it will be brought up at interview, so you have to be able to discuss!
Good luck! Sounds like your well on your way!
Kate xx

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Cardiff Student Midwife 2008!!