Here is my birth story, I have had 3 children sadly only 2 are with me now and my nicest experience of childbirth was also my saddest..
I was 30 weeks pregnant with a little girl, we already had a boy and we was over the moon to be having a girl. I always had this feeling of dread though and I could never explain it then and still can't now but all I can say is deep down I knew..
I woke up on the morning of the 7th July feeling funny. I went to the dr's and told them how I felt which was a dull ache in my left hand side, the dr checked my urine and wrote me our a prescription for some antibiotics (which we later find out I didn't even need).
All day I had this ache and then come 5pm my partner leaves for work as he is on nights, at 5:30 I get a sharp constant pain across my lower back and middle of my stomach. I called the midwife and told her how I had been feeling and about my visit to the gp and she adviced to go to the antenatal ward as urine infections can bring on labour she rang ahead and I was met by a lovely midwife. I told my partner that I was going up and would call him when I knew something rather than him come home if he didn't need to, our little man was with a friend so off I went. I arrived and was asked all the usual questions and then it dawned on me I hadn't felt her move all day, the midwife got a pinard and had a listen in but couldn't hear anything, she went off to get someone more senior I overheard her say my stomach was wooden to touch! She returned with a registrar again a lovely woman, she also had a listen with the pinard but again couldn't find anything I was starting to get anxious by now but for some reason was able to stay to calm (I think I knew in my heart what was coming next) she got a portable scanner and scanned me, I looked at the screen and all was still no movement, it was then that my feelings became real and she told me my baby had no heartbeat. My heart was crushed and I felt like I couldn't breathe, I cried and didn't think I would stop as far as I was aware I was out of the danger zone once I hit 13 weeks. I asked for my partner to be called who arrived in a flash with various members of the family, we was taken into a side room and given a leaflet to read though, the way in which the midwife and registrar treat us was amazing she took her time to explain what she thought had happened 'a concealed placental abruption' but they couldn't know for sure until after delivery and maybe never would know. I was told I would have to deliver naturally and I couldn't believe they was going to make me do it, how could I labour naturally my baby wasn't alive
. I spoke to my aunt over the phone who lives in kent and I am extremely close to, she is doula and promised me she would be with me. I was allowed home to await my aunts arrival and to go home the next morning (saturday) to be induced. I don't know how but I managed to sleep well friday night, must have been the shock. Saturday arrived and I didn't want to go back, I couldn't go and say goodbye to our baby girl when we hadn't even got a chance to say hello. I got out of bed and dressed and looked out of the window and my partner was washing his car (it was all so surreal). My aunt took us to the hospital and stayed with us, we was told what would happen and was told we had to decide wether or not a PM was to be carried, it felt rushed but I now know that they had to make sure that we knew what we wanted we wasn't going to have alot of time to decide.
We decided not to have a PM we didn't want our baby girl to go through one.
Over the course of the weekend they tried to induce me it wasn't working then monday the 10th July I started getting tightenings, I can remember I was crying because it was my little mans sports day and I couldn't go so I asked everyone else to go instead and show him support. He had been told what had happened and that his baby sister couldn't come home but at the age of 4 it is hard to take things in.
My aunt and partner returned from sports day and we was told I was being transferred to delivery suite. On arrival I met our midwife who was the kindest midwife I had met she was absolutely brilliant and treat us with the upmost care and respect. The original registrar from the friday night returned to support us through aswell. After a short labour our baby girl was born at 8:34pm weighing 3lb 3 oz and she was perfect she just looked like she was sleeping except she never took a breathe. They opened up a special room for us so we could have her baptised and photos taken and memories made, we named her Cady-rene and she was loved and wanted so much by us all. We had our son brought up, I wanted him to meet her which some people don't agree with but it was right for us, he knew he was having a sister he was excitied about having a sister and we thought it would help him understand that she couldn't come home. Which it did.
The midwives and the registrar that looked after us from start to finish was amazing and we could not have done it without them, the midwife spent so much time with us afterwards and at home, she felt more like a friend than a carer.
We found out that the registrar was right and it was a concealed abruption that took our baby from us well she was 99% sure and we had 100% trust in her.
They gave me the courage to go on and try again which we did and we now have another healthy little boy who we love to bits, he is our sunshine after the rain and although there is still a huge hole where Cady-rene should be with the help and support we recieved we have been able to learn to cope with what we have been through and support others who are facing the same thing we did.
I am so sorry if that was so long, and I hope it hasn't offended anyone.
Donna
X xx X