Awww Jo what a scarey experience I'm sure I would have felt the same as you! I'm so glad all was well in the end but as you say it doesn't always turn out that way.
To be honest I don't think you can know how you'll react and deal with it untill you are in that postition but as students I expect we'll get lots of good advice and support from out mentors and those who have had the experience.
Its one of the moments I am dreading but I know I'll have to deal with it one day I just hope when the time comes I can be strong for the family. I'm sure sheading a few tears is ok, after all you are expressing your saddess not for yourself but for someone elses loss.
I'm sure you do have what it takes, your feelings were totally normal, I can understand how it could knock you back abit, but have faith in yourself you CAN do this xxx

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Busy Mum to 3 beautiful little boys
First year student midwife!