Bird, I know how you feel hun. This has happened to me a few times now when I've been running and I think its worse when you're the runner as you do get yelled at to put the crash call out, get more staff etc - heart thumping stuff when you're not really involved, but watching. I have cried a few times (and so have MWs and Docs too) - it's only natural - don't worry about it. I honestly think that talking about it with the team that were there is the best way to gain understanding about it - even if it is too madly busy immediately afterwards, arrange it for a later date - this has really helped me in the past and makes you realise that everyone else was as anxious and upset as you! In terms of dealing with it I think we will always be affected emotionally by what we see, nothing can change that, but as a qualified MW you will know what to do, know what and why other people are doing things and spring into action - not just be watching and praying as a runner.

You'll be fab darling - talk to someone next time you're on duty, I guarantee everyone else will have had a c**p time too, and don't doubt your ability xx

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waving, not drowning!!