Our emotions. Leading off on a tangent from another thread where crying at births was being discussed and some students who had shed a tear (not hysterically you understand!!) were chastised by mentors for showing emotion...........I thought it time we discussed and debated how we feel.

Yes, we need to be professional but how can we stop ourselves from 'feeling'? surely if we go down that path then in 10 years time we will all be hardened off and dare I say, become emotionally distant from the women. Thats one of the major factors in why many of us want to follow this path, to be with woman, how can we be if we are so uptight?

I believe we can judge situations and use our instincts about the appropriatness of emotional responses. For example, hugging women, kissing babies, Ive seen this happen alot and is this wrong? Ive never kissed a baby but Ive given pretty much of all of the ones Ive delivered or cared for a dam fine cuddle, I talk to them, I talk to them in utero, I call them by their names, the parents love it, it makes thier child more 'real' it crosses that barrier of 'baby this and baby that' to naming the child giving them their identity...... is this wrong? someone once said to me they call the baby 'baby' until its born incase it dies in labour, I couldnt understand this, if a baby doesnt make it why does that mean it shouldnt have a name? the parents have already decided so why cant we share in that and use the babies name? or am I being naive?

Many a woman I have discharged came and gave me a great big squeezy hug before she left and I gave her a good ol' squeeze back whispering in her ear how well she did and how well she is doing. Some women need to hear 'you are a good mother' from someone that 'matters' and 'you are doing well'/ 'you are doing X right' / 'its ok to cry/be scared' how can we say this with meaning if we are discouraged from 'feeling'? surely our instincts are what make us in tune with the women we care for? how close is intuition to feeling? how much of who we are goes into the care we give these women? if we cant feel can we be us? Yes there is a line, there are protocols, rules and regulations but surely behind these is the simple ethos, that we care for and serve the women who need us, professionally, with quality and with instinct and feeling..........

__________________
J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

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