Hi Leah
I don't think emotions can get in the way of care. When we say 'Emotion' it doesn't have to be tears, it can be laughter, excitement, and sadness. A midwife who is truly with woman will feel the woman's emotions as well as have some of her own and we shouldn't put a lid on those emotions.

When women have commented on midwives and the treatment they have had, you will often hear that they didn't seem to 'care'. It maybe down to stress or whatever, but women don't want to see brazen faced midwives with a stiff upper lip...they want to see genuinely caring women and we can be like that while staying professional.

When I say that we should cry if we want, then I don't mean balling your eyes out! But if a situation makes you tearful then so what...you're no less a professional just cos you have feelings!!

You know, I was unfortunate enough to be involved in an IUD and the woman lost her first child. It was the most heart wrenching moment of my career and it upset me so much. I assisted this lady through a terrible ordeal and when the baby was born dead, it was such an awful thing to see, I had to cry. When you witness something like that, a woman wouldn't think any less of you for crying...it's bloody sad! In fact if the shoe was on the other foot and I was the mum, I would think that the midwife was heartless if she didn't show any emotion!

You can't get so close to people in such an intimate situation and be devoid of emotion...it's just not right.

Anyway, my posts seem to go on far too long!!

Vic xx

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Vicky
Liverpool Independent Midwives