Be gentle

This is my first draft copy for my access course what do u think ?Is this what they are looking for, problem is i'm running out of time to get it posted away.
I cannot believe, that I have actually come to the stage in my life, that I can begin my journey to follow my dream of becoming the best midwife that I can possibly be.
I can honestly say that midwifery to me has become more of an obsession in my life, I read books on it, at the moment I am reading a book called Call the midwife by Jennifer Worth which is absolutely fantastic, I subscribe to the practising midwife which is always a fascinating read, and every day I am on the internet keeping up to date with my friends on student midwives forums finding how their interviews have gone and what they have done at home as well as work placements and university.
I have four wonderful children with whom I treasure every moment that I have with them, they have taught me so much. They have taught me to manage my time to the best of my ability, we do so well that I even manage to work a 20hr week at my job as a health care assistant in an elderly ward in Perth Royal Infirmary. I love my job but I know feel that it is time to move on to follow my dream of becoming a midwife, I know that the road will be long with lots of ups and downs but I have been wanting this so badly for so long, I will do what it takes to succeed I do not give up easily.
I know that it is not easy to get onto the course without any experience so In my own time I have managed to get some extra shifts in my local maternity ward, I help out at scan and also at the antenatal clinic. I have only done a couple of shifts but am really enjoying working with the midwives on the wards, I get to see another side of the midwifery e.g. The blood tests and the urine tests I never realised just how many they have to do per booking person.
I feel that my experience with having my children and wanting to learn more and more about woman , pregnancy and birth will help me on this course. When I was pregnant with my children I enjoyed the experience so much that I never wanted it to end , it fascinated me every kick, every scan, every antenatal clinic ,every heart beat that I heard just amazed me. Even at the birth even though I knew how much it was going to hurt I looked forward to the birth.
I have had many jobs in my time, most of which have been people focused. I worked in a supermarket, in a call centre and a post person, and the majority of my jobs have all in some point or other put me under some sort of pressure.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, listening to music, walking my dog, being with my family and talking and listening to my family and friends, I must have one of those faces, I get stopped everywhere.
I know its my time to start my career, I want it to stop being an obsession and a dream, I now want to make it a reality.

Thats fab! Go get your dream macdonz!
The only thing I will comment on, (as it was what was asked with my short essay for applying to access course) is that it wasnt too much about the content it was more about spelling, punctuation and grammer. Your writing skills basically. They want to see how well written you are at the moment. Dont know wether it is the same with you but what you've written is really good. I would just drop some of the commas for full stops and possibly give it to a friend just to check over too. Four eyes are better than one!
If you know what I mean. It is really good though!!!
Kate xxx

__________________
Cardiff Student Midwife 2008!!

Hi Macdonz! Is this for your application to do access course or your personal statement to apply for uni? It's great that it's so personal and obviously from your heart. You could maybe re-word the bit about having worked only a couple of shifts on your local maternity ward as by the time they read it you will have done loads more??

It's good that you've put about having a job as well as raising a family, shows you can manage your time and that you have relevant experience.

I agree with Kate about getting a friend to have a look for you, the more people that read it the more suggestions you get although it's already sounds great!

kitkat

x

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Student Midwife-University of Worcester 2008

thanks girls sounds a fab idea it is for my application for the access course

Very passionate, that screams off the page. Brilliant!

Id suggest putting a bit more in there about midwifery, like the things you have learnt in books, mags and on the site for example how you are becoming familiar with terminiology and how you interact daily with current access students and student midwives and RMs on here so have a good understanding of what will be expected of you, how you keep up to date with the latest midwifery news on here. The feedback we have had from Unis is that they like what we do here as its education based and there are loads of learning resources - so show that you are so committed to midwfery that you spend your free time learning from current students and RMs and the resources on the site.

Talk about supporting women to make informed choices, talk about the one mother one midwife campaign and the RCM normal birth campaign etc.

Good luck

__________________
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
(George Eliot, 1860)

ok draft two
I cannot believe that I have actually come to the stage in my life, that I can begin my journey to follow my dream of becoming the best midwife that I can possibly be.
I can honestly say that midwifery to me has become more of an obsession in my life. I read books on it at the moment I am reading a book called Call the midwife by Jennifer Worth which is absolutely fantastic. I subscribe to the practising midwife which is always a fascinating read, and every day I am on the internet keeping up to date with my friends on student midwives forums finding how their interviews have gone and what they have done at home as well as work placements and university.
I have four wonderful children with whom I treasure every moment that I have with them, they have taught me so much. They have taught me to manage my time to the best of my ability, we do so well that I even manage to work a 20hr week at my job as a health care assistant in an elderly ward in Perth Royal Infirmary. I love my job but I know feel that it is time to move on to follow my dream of becoming a midwife. I know that the road will be long with lots of ups and downs but I have been wanting this so badly for so long, I will do what it takes to succeed I do not give up easily.
I know that it is not easy to get onto the course without any experience so In my own time I have managed to get some extra shifts in my local maternity ward. I help out at scan and also at the antenatal clinic. I have done a few shifts and I am really enjoying working with the midwives on the wards, I get to see another side of the midwifery e.g. The blood tests and the urine tests I never realised just how many they have to do per booking person. Also from working on the maternity ward it has given me a little taster of what it is like to work on the ward. It has not put me off one little bit it has just made me want to pursue this career more, instead of working from behind the door or the screen I want to be the person helping in this amazing most special event in a woman’s/couples life.
I feel that my experience with having my children and wanting to learn more and more about woman , pregnancy and birth will help me on this course. When I was pregnant with my children I enjoyed the experience so much that I never wanted it to end. It fascinated me every kick, every scan, every antenatal clinic ,every heart beat that I heard just amazed me. Even at the birth even though I knew how much it was going to hurt I looked forward to the birth.
I have had many jobs in my time, most of which have been people focused. I worked in a supermarket, in a call centre and a post person. And the majority of my jobs have all in some point or other put me under some sort of pressure.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, listening to music, walking my dog, being with my family and talking and listening to my family and friends, I must have one of those faces, I get stopped everywhere.
I know its my time to start my career, I want it to stop being an obsession and a dream, I now want to make it a reality.

gone over my 600 words with that copy oops

Hi macdonz!
Reading this I can already see what a fab midwife you will be! Because you have asked us to look at this we will be picking out tiny things that we might notice - just because you've asked us too! But I think you have done a fab job of this PS. Kitkat took the words out of my mouth - Dont say "I've only done....." Because it doesn't matter, you have still done it! Blow your own trumpet and sell yourself, experience in the scanning and antenatal clinic gives you a really good advantage.

The only other thing I would change (and this is purely a personal view) is where you put "in this amazing and special event". I put something similar, and was strongly advised to change it to "life changing event" etc. As not every woman views childbirth as amazing or special and sometimes there are sad outcomes for many different reasons.

Otherwise think its fab, you show how committed and dedicated you are to this profession, and your enthusiasum really shows.

Steffylou xx

Fab second draft! I agree with steffylou about changing it to 'life changing event' as I did not enjoy my second birth at all! And I personally would change the reading sentance to " I've enjoyed reading various midwifery books, and at present I am reading Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth which i'm finding absolutely fantastic."
Hope this helps.
You come across as extremely passionate, and I wish you the best of luck for the access course and starting your dream and journey to become a wonderful midwife.....
Kate xx

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Cardiff Student Midwife 2008!!