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To my Mum

Posted 15-Aug-2008 at 12:07 by Billynomates

Sometimes I find it useful to write to someone who has upset me. I never post it but it makes me feel better and I can say things I would never really say.

To my birth mum.

You walked past me in town last week. You gave me the kind of hello you would give to your elderly neighbour because you felt obliged. You never even said hello to your two beautiful grand daughters. How could you been so cold, so hard, what did I ever do to you? You carried me for nine months, still a baby yourself 14, not an age to become a mother. I understand that. What I don't understand is why you put up with me for two years, shipping me from place to place, from care home to care home? Why oh why did you ever leave me with a convicted peodophile while you were off scoring drugs. You were meant to protect me, to love me, like all mothers should. I will never know what that monster did to me but it is nowhere near as what you did to me. Not physically but mentally. What sort of mother aged 16 with a 2 year old daughter commits armed robbery??!! You thats who, all for your man. Well it was the best thing that could of happened to me. At last the authorites were aware and finally took me away. So why for the next 7 years did you fight to get me back to only end up with you not turning up at court?? How do you think i felt as a nine year old girl, not knowing who my mum was?? Now I realise you will never be my mum, never was. My mum is the angel who cared for me in those early years when you went to jail. Who taught me to walk and speak to prove the social workers wrong that I wasn't retarted, as they put it, just unstimulated and disturbed. I needed love and attention, you never gave it. Retarted, well look at me now, a mum to two stunning, smart beautiful girls, a wife to a loving caring man and off to uni to pursue my dream. How different could we be? I thought for a long time that I had become cold and hard like you because of you but I realise from the love of strangers many I have never met who have shown me love more than you ever did, that I am actually strong. So thank you. Next time you see me in town carry on walking, you had your chances, I don't need you anymore.

xx

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	$KarrierBag\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ Wow BNM. You brave, inspirational woman. xxx
	Posted 15-Aug-2008 at 12:39 by KarrierBag

$coffeebean\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$

Billy, you truly are a wonderful person who has gone on to achieve so much and who will continue to do so. You are a lovely warm hearted person andd it is her loss and most definately everyone else's gain. Be strong and remember that you are indeed a wonderful mummy and wife, two very important jobs!

Posted 15-Aug-2008 at 18:29 by coffeebean coffeebean is online now

	$stacetheace\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ thankyou for sharing this with us and no way are you billynomates you have us always at the end of the line private message any of us any time if you feel like a chat .take care and well done for being strong and following your dreams x x
	Posted 15-Aug-2008 at 19:22 by stacetheace

	$smwife\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ BNM, I am speechless. You are right you don't need her. I don't know how you got through it, but you did! Bless your heart. You're an amazing lady! xxxxxxxxxxxxx
	Posted 16-Aug-2008 at 11:48 by smwife

$midwifemissy\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$

Thanks for having the courage to share that with us.

You are a very caring, loving, strong lady, and you have come so far since those very difficult and sad times in your life.

Hold you head up high hun cos you deserve to. Good luck with everything you do. xxx

Posted 16-Aug-2008 at 19:40 by midwifemissy midwifemissy is online now

	$Bunny\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ BNM, that's a letter straight from the heart. You sound so empowered, and so strong - you are inspirational! xxx
	Posted 12-Sep-2008 at 14:04 by Bunny

	$Ani\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ Wow. Every day I am amazed at the courage and strength of women on this site. What you have been through is awful, but you are wonderful for living your life - becoming a mother and following your dream.
	Posted 12-Sep-2008 at 14:25 by Ani

	Oh my I have just seen this BNM (((( )))), I am sat here in tears, you are an amazing woman, you know I love you to bits.
	Posted 16-Sep-2008 at 18:26 by Tasha

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