I haven't posted a blog before so here goes!!!

Well this is my first blog and unfortunately I don't think it is going to be a happy one, but hopefully I can reflect back on my feelings at a later date and learn from them. I'm writing a blog to see if it helps me see clearer. The problem is I'm on the reserve list and I know I know I'm really lucky and its not long, but I feel as though my life is on complete hold. Maybe if it was just the reserve list maybe I could cope better. But i'm waiting for a mortgage to go through to and to move house. I need the mortgage money to do the house up first before we move in. We are buying the house of my partners parents and we are lucky as they are selling it cheap to us so I know i'm lucky again. However we have waited, yes wait for it 2 1/2yrs to move!!! first we had to wait for them to do the house they were moving into up first, then for them to move and now the mortgage for us to wait on. Everything seems as though its nearly there and not there if that makes sense. Like the reserve list, nearly there, moving nearly there ahhhhhhh.
I think i've been really patient for both but they are really taking their toll on me. I can't sleep coz as soon as I get into bed I start thinking of how its going to be when I move or what its going to be like if I get accepted. In the days I have no drive for anything. I don't feel like cleaning or nothing.
I never used to be like this. I'm used to having something to do like work or uni revision but now I have nothing to do and just waiting!!!! and its making me down and with nothing to do it makes me not want to do anything!!
I know its not long to wait for either but it don't seem like long it feels like forever. Maybe I'm just spoilt and should realise how lucky I am on both, but I do feel as though I've been patient.
Everyone on here has been my saving grace so I thankyou all guys!!