Feeling blue today

Posted 07-Sep-2008 at 22:31 by riabirt

I'm feeling very blue today. Just wanted somewhere to vent a little really, get some thoughts out of my head.

As some of you know, Tuesday is the first anniversary of my big Brother, Steve's death.

2007 was a very bad year for our family. My Brother, (Kev's) girlfriend almost died after collapsing. She'd had an ectopic pregnancy and it was touch and go whether she'd survive.

Then Steve's accident happened.
He was 42 and was a biker - he had been since he was 16.
He and my other brother, Kev went on a ride on a sunday morning with their friend Pat.
They had a great ride, into mid wales. Stopped for a bite to eat, then decided to ride back.
No one really knows the details, it all happened so fast, but as Steve rounded a bend, his bike was clipped by a car, which sent him head on into another car. Steve died instantly, and poor Kev (who was riding in front) had to go back to find our Steve. Fortunately, Pat was alive. He was badly injured, but thankfully has made a god recovery.

Steve's death threw our family into total turmoil and ripped our family apart - almost like he was the glue that kept us all together.
The day of Steve's funeral, Kev's girlfriend discovered she was pregnant, only to miscarry days later. Kev totally lost the plot and we were all concerned as he turne to drink and drugs to ease the pain of losing his only brother and their baby.

Then, in April this year, Kev was knocked off his motorbike and broke his collarbone for the 2nd time.

A few weeks ago, Kev told us that he had had the date through for his operation (he needs to collarbone pinned). It is on tuesday, the anniversary of the accident.

Have spent the day feeling really low. I'm worried about Kev and his operation, worried about how my parents are going to cope with the day and also have a horrible feeling I'll burst into tears on my night shift.
Not good!

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	$RainbowGoddess\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ (((hugs)))
	Posted 08-Sep-2008 at 10:04 by RainbowGoddess

$stacetheace\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$

i just want to say i am sorry for your loss and i hope the operation goes ok on tuesday, and may life start being kinder to you all, you all deserve it. i too had an ectopic and know how scary it can be but it doesnt stop the pain of how hard it is to lose a baby. my thoughts are with you and your family hugs and kisses to you x x x

Posted 08-Sep-2008 at 10:10 by stacetheace stacetheace is offline

	$Felicity\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ Aww, it sounds like you and your family have had a really rough time. I'm not much good at knowing what to say but I want to say how sorry I am and how strong I think you are to be coping so well with everything and getting on with life. xx
	Posted 08-Sep-2008 at 10:22 by Felicity

	Don't know what to say so just sending you lots of hugs. My thoughts are with you xx
	Posted 08-Sep-2008 at 10:47 by Billynomates

	$coffeebean\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ I hope your brother has a speedy recovery from his operation and if you have a few teary moments then others will have to deal with it hun!! Have a little cry and you may feel a bit better!!
	Posted 08-Sep-2008 at 11:29 by coffeebean

	$Bunny\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ (huge hugs) No one would be unsympathetic to a tear or two in your circumstances! And remember that the majority of midwives are by nature sympathetic and always happy to lend an ear and a shoulder. xxx
	Posted 08-Sep-2008 at 11:52 by Bunny

	$Butterfly\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ hey hun, i know last year was a tough year for you and hope the next two are better for you. you're still here brave lady, still fighting, chin up your buddies are here for you anytime xxxxxx
	Posted 08-Sep-2008 at 12:29 by Butterfly

	$birthventure\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ Thinking of you today........
	Posted 09-Sep-2008 at 09:14 by birthventure

	$Lilyjayne\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ I do not even know you but feel i need to send you a lot of (((hugs))). My thoughts are with you and second what everyone else has said. If you feel you need some time to cry so be it - you have been through an awful lot. Take care. xx
	Posted 09-Sep-2008 at 16:55 by Lilyjayne

	$Little Miss Midwife\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ My thoughts are with you and your family hon. Remember you have a second family on here if you ever need to talk. hugs to you babe xx
	Posted 09-Sep-2008 at 17:53 by Little Miss Midwife

	$upsy daisy\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ Awww hun sorry only just read this. Hope you are OK xxxx
	Posted 09-Sep-2008 at 19:23 by upsy daisy

	$smwife\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$ oh Ria, Iam so sorry for your loss, Iwas thinking of you yesterday and know yesterday must've been so hard for you and your family. Huge hugs to you, love. xxxxxx
	Posted 10-Sep-2008 at 14:39 by smwife

$riabirt\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$

Thankyou all so much for your comments. It means a lot to me.

Yesterday wasn't too bad, had a good cry on my way home from my night shift after recieving a couple of lovely texts, one from Butterfly (thanks hun) and one from my sister.
Then I sat on the sofa for about an hour cuddling our lodger and crying into her pyjamas! lol!

I slept through most of the day, then my Dad called when I woke up to say that Kev's operation went well.
Went into the hospital early so I could go and see him. He looked very rough and was in a lot of pain, but it didn't stop him going outside for a ciggie!

I feel very relieved that he's ok. I think part of me didn't believe he'd be in one piece after, which is silly really.

Anyway, just wanted to say thankyou to you all, you're all so caring and supportive.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted 10-Sep-2008 at 15:49 by riabirt riabirt is offline

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