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Random Musings

Posted 22-Apr-2008 at 10:34 by faloola
Updated 16-Sep-2008 at 12:06 by faloola

It actually feels weird blogging here as I already have a blog but here goes.

I have been struggling a lot lately and I have decided to share my thoughts - in case it may help someone else.

I have not been the best Access student, I tend to go to lectures, enjoy the subject matter, read a lot and then stop. I don't know why but I have a fear of the written word, which is ironic because I am a writer at heart. I have always kept a diary, written letters, stories and am quite able to articulate myself on paper, but ask me to write anything academically and I freeze.

I have looked into it a lot to help me overcome this writers block I have and have come to understand so much about myself. I find this quite intoxicating in itself - going on an almost journey of self discovery while qualifying and from what I have been told, I have more to come.

So for now here is a little of what I have learned:

1: I am a perfectionist which is actually a very self destructive quality, as perfection does not exist - therefore the goal I am aiming for is not there. Perfectionists also tend to procrastinate A LOT.

2: On researching procrastination (yes I am that bad) I discovered that I am in fact a 'genius procrastinator' oh yes, which means I excel at procrastination simply because I can. Not a good quality either. I wish I could be more organised like my fellow classmates...maybe one day.

3: I am more self disciplined that I realise. Now this is my favourite one. I was telling my best friend how much self discipline I lack, (see above) and she just said "You are not lacking at all, in fact quite the opposite: you have the self discipline and courage to follow your dream, which most people never do"

I guess I never thought of it that way, so when I hit yet another hour of darkness (and I will) I will remember that....

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$TallPoppy\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Avatar$

In my view academic writing is like a new pair of shoes, you need to wander about in them for a while before they fit and feel comfortable. When youve been studying the same amount of years as I have (I have a stupid number of qualifications) its feels like a pair of comfy trusted slippers.

I think part of the freezing is because the shoes arent super comfy yet, in time they will be. Its just a different way of expressing yourself and you sound very bright to me, so I guess planning and executing an assignment fills you with lots of ideas and maybe you find pinning down all your knowledge on the subject tricky as you want to write the perfect assignment. All this with shoes are bit a uncomfy...

It will come.

Posted 23-Apr-2008 at 09:35 by TallPoppy TallPoppy is offline

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