Thoughts, articles and occassionally explainations...
The Dark Underbelly of Midwifery: A Student Perspective
Posted 07-Jul-2008 at 10:44 by J™
Updated 11-Jul-2008 at 14:51 by J™ (Font and type settings as people want to print it off)
Updated 11-Jul-2008 at 14:51 by J™ (Font and type settings as people want to print it off)
As the founder, owner and director of SMNET I am privvy to alot of information. People tell me things, they ask my advice, I help everyone that I can - alot goes on behind the scenes as Im sure you would appreciate. However this matter has arisen time and time again and I wrote this a while ago after the many discussions on and off the site about the dark side of midwifery. I wasnt sure what to do with this article, but it needs to be said...
A house is blazing to the ground, people stand around watching, it takes them 20 minutes to realise no one has dialled 999. As some of you will be aware there is such a thing as the ‘by-stander effect’, where the more people there are witnessing an event the less likely the individuals are to act.
How many times have you witnessed unkind comments, nastiness and bullying in practice and just watched, not 'dialling 999'?
How many times have you broken out in a cold sweat when another student is being berated in the staff room in front of colleagues? The cold sweat indicative of the butterflies and knot in your stomach making you feel sick, yet the sweet relief that its not you prevents you from jumping up and yelling 'STOP!'?
How many times have you been 'told off' in front of a client? Feeling the hot shame spread across your cheeks and your eyes pricked with tears? For some of you it will be none, for others it will be once or twice or more.
How many times have you been told that your mentor is sick, and then you instantly feel cut adrift, panicking inside thinking what if no-one will have me? What about my hours? What about getting my skills signed off? So you sit smiling hopefully at everyone, like an orphaned kitten trying to look as cute and lovely as possible hoping that someone will take you... you hear yourself saying 'I wont be any trouble'....... 'Id be really grateful if anyone could take me today'.... almost begging....only to hear a conversation around you about how no one wants 'the student' today. And how many of you answer to 'the student' instead of your name?
Not everyone will have experienced all of the above, but many will have experienced some and for some it has been a lot worse. I am a final year student who has taken a gap year, for many reasons and I founded, direct and run this highly successful website. It is a support network for students, providing you with educational resources, information, guidance and friendship. But what has astounded me in the 8 months the site has been running is the actual physical need for support. Many students are reporting feeling physically sick with worry, anxiety and apprehension about some of the treatment they are experiencing or witnessing, in practice.
However, once they have let the concern spill out of them onto the page and receive the kind supportive, encouraging words of other students they feel better. But this should not be where it ends. In a recent anonymous poll asking the membership ‘Is your learning experience a positive one?’ 2.27% said No 38.64% said Yes but a staggering 61.36% said ‘Sometimes’.
This is what students are reporting, these are the comments I have consent to pass on, many others are too scared to consent incase they can be identified by their comments;
‘I have never ever worked in a place with so much back stabbing bitching and moaning about people in my life’. (Year 2 Student).
‘It is beginning to really wear me down. I am a grown-up, dedicated, hard-working and enthusiastic. I am also finding I can be tolerant, patient and able to prevent myself from crying in public (sometimes).’ (Year 2 Student).
’Some of the midwives can be exceptionally cruel, I would say brace yourself’. (Year 2 Student).
‘I have had run in’s with one midwife and both times it has not been my fault but I took the brunt of it as I was the student on duty. It seemed very unfair but I was told to use it as a learning curve. After, my mentor took me to one side and told me she is like that with everyone so forget what happened and move on as I am competent in what I was doing and I did not need to be shouted at in that manner in front of others.’ (Year 1 Student).
‘I sat in handover recently, and was ignored until someone decided to ask me who I was meant to be working with. When I gave my mentor's name I was told she was off sick. Fair enough. I then sat for a minute, wondering what to do next. One of the midwives was asked to "have" me. That midwife then said in front of me (and everyone else in handover) "Oh, do I have to? I'm sick of students and I’m on NHS P tonight, so I don't want her"’ (Year 1 Student).
‘Our cohort has actually lost one of our number due to the absolute vileness of her mentor; she just couldn't take any more.’ (Year 1 Student)
‘It is terrible that they get away with it, especially when you're concentrating so hard on not doing something wrong just in case you get shouted at, or stared at, dirty looks or even for them to walk out of the room and talk loudly about how useless you are’. (Year 1 Student).
My vision is that the next generation of students come together to make the changes happen. It’s already beginning to happen on this website, you come and debrief about the catty comments, the cruel treatment or the bullying situation you have experienced and seek comfort, support and kind words. You do this rather than go along with perpetuating the bullying/catty culture that is the hidden undercurrent of some units. This website has over 1,700 members in the 8 months it’s been running, it has around 150-200 regulars that visit the site every day, and 20,000 visitors each month from 93 countries, and they seek the haven of StudentMidwife.NET. My 19 staff and I are influencing the culture of the next generation of midwives, daily.
So what do I mean by perpetuating the bullying culture? I have enough life experience outside of midwifery and prior to being a student to see how people infiltrate groups, how they become one of the gang, how they say and do the right things to fit in but still retaining who they are. The less experienced or worldly-wise students struggle with this and either feel ostracised from the group or will do literally anything to be on the inside, to be liked, to get a job at the end of their training. Self esteem rockets as they feel they are part of the group, they feel they must be midwife material as they are in the clique. But what about those units with the dark side? Those shadowy corners where gossiping, catty comments and bullying live? Where keen, enthusiastic students become broken and despairing?
Its clear, if you want to continue to fit in you don’t rock the boat, you turn a blind eye to nasty comments and bullying or you even perpetuate it yourself, agreeing, gossiping, deflecting attention from yourself incase you are next...... or do you? Have the foresight to think if they can do that to X then they can do that to you. What protects you from it? By you being an even bigger bully? If so where does that stop? We tell our children that bullies are just cowards and they are. In midwifery they are the ones that bitch about the Dr behind their back or when they have left the room, rather than being an advocate for women and challenging other health professionals. They are the ones hiding dark insecurities about themselves or maybe even their practice? Or maybe they are just scared and want to fit in unnoticed so they can get on with caring for women? Its most likley that these 'bullies' are no such thing, they are midwives under huge pressure working very hard to provide care for clients in often very difficult situations - unsocial hours, often stuffy/hot conditions, being short staffed, faulty or simply not enough equipment, not being able to take breaks due to the sheer number of women and babies needing care and often ........with a student in tow.
I don’t believe it is any one person. I think it is fear and it’s cultural. Cultural norms can change. It takes me back to the by-stander effect, this diffusion of responsibility, if we make caring for and looking out for one another our collective responsibility then we begin to make the change. If we choose not to behave in the 'socially acceptable' ways of our unit then again we continue the changes. If we, the next generation of midwives, don’t perpetuate it then at some point it will stop. I know people will read this and think 'Bah! You’ll never change a culture that is ingrained in midwifery, its pointless trying'. I say, it is pointless not to try, for the sake of the students of tomorrow. So many students are lost due to the dark underbelly of midwifery, and usually it is the sensitive souls that the profession seeks.
This is not intended to scare new students or put them off but for those of you that will have the misfortune to witness this dark underbelly its is to prepare you. It has to stop and it has to stop now.
You are the next generation, you will be the ones to make the difference. There are thousands of brilliant and exceptional mentors, midwives, managers and matrons who want to see an end to this. We are talking about a minority of people who are perpetuating this dark side of midwifery, and if the next generation refused to entertain the comments, the jibes and the mistreatment and instead seek out the many mentors, midwives, managers and supervisors and ask for help - then surely in time it will wither away and dissapear?
The profession has always had fights to fight and battles to win but this one is at our core. We must protect our young, our fledglings, our future, ourselves. So next time someone is gossiping, ignore it, busy yourself elsewhere. Next time you are bullied or made to cry in practice, tell someone, talk to your mentor or Uni, tutor, ward manager, supervisor of midwives and offload. Don’t carry those feelings around even if its just to talk about it, you don’t have to make a complaint but if you do you are standing up for yourself and the future student midwives to be.
Change, and possibly the type of future that midwifery has, starts with whether you accept being mistreated or witnessing mistreatment. You, and only you, can decide that.
A house is blazing to the ground, people stand around watching, it takes them 20 minutes to realise no one has dialled 999. As some of you will be aware there is such a thing as the ‘by-stander effect’, where the more people there are witnessing an event the less likely the individuals are to act.
How many times have you witnessed unkind comments, nastiness and bullying in practice and just watched, not 'dialling 999'?
How many times have you broken out in a cold sweat when another student is being berated in the staff room in front of colleagues? The cold sweat indicative of the butterflies and knot in your stomach making you feel sick, yet the sweet relief that its not you prevents you from jumping up and yelling 'STOP!'?
How many times have you been 'told off' in front of a client? Feeling the hot shame spread across your cheeks and your eyes pricked with tears? For some of you it will be none, for others it will be once or twice or more.
How many times have you been told that your mentor is sick, and then you instantly feel cut adrift, panicking inside thinking what if no-one will have me? What about my hours? What about getting my skills signed off? So you sit smiling hopefully at everyone, like an orphaned kitten trying to look as cute and lovely as possible hoping that someone will take you... you hear yourself saying 'I wont be any trouble'....... 'Id be really grateful if anyone could take me today'.... almost begging....only to hear a conversation around you about how no one wants 'the student' today. And how many of you answer to 'the student' instead of your name?
Not everyone will have experienced all of the above, but many will have experienced some and for some it has been a lot worse. I am a final year student who has taken a gap year, for many reasons and I founded, direct and run this highly successful website. It is a support network for students, providing you with educational resources, information, guidance and friendship. But what has astounded me in the 8 months the site has been running is the actual physical need for support. Many students are reporting feeling physically sick with worry, anxiety and apprehension about some of the treatment they are experiencing or witnessing, in practice.
However, once they have let the concern spill out of them onto the page and receive the kind supportive, encouraging words of other students they feel better. But this should not be where it ends. In a recent anonymous poll asking the membership ‘Is your learning experience a positive one?’ 2.27% said No 38.64% said Yes but a staggering 61.36% said ‘Sometimes’.
This is what students are reporting, these are the comments I have consent to pass on, many others are too scared to consent incase they can be identified by their comments;
‘I have never ever worked in a place with so much back stabbing bitching and moaning about people in my life’. (Year 2 Student).
‘It is beginning to really wear me down. I am a grown-up, dedicated, hard-working and enthusiastic. I am also finding I can be tolerant, patient and able to prevent myself from crying in public (sometimes).’ (Year 2 Student).
’Some of the midwives can be exceptionally cruel, I would say brace yourself’. (Year 2 Student).
‘I have had run in’s with one midwife and both times it has not been my fault but I took the brunt of it as I was the student on duty. It seemed very unfair but I was told to use it as a learning curve. After, my mentor took me to one side and told me she is like that with everyone so forget what happened and move on as I am competent in what I was doing and I did not need to be shouted at in that manner in front of others.’ (Year 1 Student).
‘I sat in handover recently, and was ignored until someone decided to ask me who I was meant to be working with. When I gave my mentor's name I was told she was off sick. Fair enough. I then sat for a minute, wondering what to do next. One of the midwives was asked to "have" me. That midwife then said in front of me (and everyone else in handover) "Oh, do I have to? I'm sick of students and I’m on NHS P tonight, so I don't want her"’ (Year 1 Student).
‘Our cohort has actually lost one of our number due to the absolute vileness of her mentor; she just couldn't take any more.’ (Year 1 Student)
‘It is terrible that they get away with it, especially when you're concentrating so hard on not doing something wrong just in case you get shouted at, or stared at, dirty looks or even for them to walk out of the room and talk loudly about how useless you are’. (Year 1 Student).
My vision is that the next generation of students come together to make the changes happen. It’s already beginning to happen on this website, you come and debrief about the catty comments, the cruel treatment or the bullying situation you have experienced and seek comfort, support and kind words. You do this rather than go along with perpetuating the bullying/catty culture that is the hidden undercurrent of some units. This website has over 1,700 members in the 8 months it’s been running, it has around 150-200 regulars that visit the site every day, and 20,000 visitors each month from 93 countries, and they seek the haven of StudentMidwife.NET. My 19 staff and I are influencing the culture of the next generation of midwives, daily.
So what do I mean by perpetuating the bullying culture? I have enough life experience outside of midwifery and prior to being a student to see how people infiltrate groups, how they become one of the gang, how they say and do the right things to fit in but still retaining who they are. The less experienced or worldly-wise students struggle with this and either feel ostracised from the group or will do literally anything to be on the inside, to be liked, to get a job at the end of their training. Self esteem rockets as they feel they are part of the group, they feel they must be midwife material as they are in the clique. But what about those units with the dark side? Those shadowy corners where gossiping, catty comments and bullying live? Where keen, enthusiastic students become broken and despairing?
Its clear, if you want to continue to fit in you don’t rock the boat, you turn a blind eye to nasty comments and bullying or you even perpetuate it yourself, agreeing, gossiping, deflecting attention from yourself incase you are next...... or do you? Have the foresight to think if they can do that to X then they can do that to you. What protects you from it? By you being an even bigger bully? If so where does that stop? We tell our children that bullies are just cowards and they are. In midwifery they are the ones that bitch about the Dr behind their back or when they have left the room, rather than being an advocate for women and challenging other health professionals. They are the ones hiding dark insecurities about themselves or maybe even their practice? Or maybe they are just scared and want to fit in unnoticed so they can get on with caring for women? Its most likley that these 'bullies' are no such thing, they are midwives under huge pressure working very hard to provide care for clients in often very difficult situations - unsocial hours, often stuffy/hot conditions, being short staffed, faulty or simply not enough equipment, not being able to take breaks due to the sheer number of women and babies needing care and often ........with a student in tow.
I don’t believe it is any one person. I think it is fear and it’s cultural. Cultural norms can change. It takes me back to the by-stander effect, this diffusion of responsibility, if we make caring for and looking out for one another our collective responsibility then we begin to make the change. If we choose not to behave in the 'socially acceptable' ways of our unit then again we continue the changes. If we, the next generation of midwives, don’t perpetuate it then at some point it will stop. I know people will read this and think 'Bah! You’ll never change a culture that is ingrained in midwifery, its pointless trying'. I say, it is pointless not to try, for the sake of the students of tomorrow. So many students are lost due to the dark underbelly of midwifery, and usually it is the sensitive souls that the profession seeks.
This is not intended to scare new students or put them off but for those of you that will have the misfortune to witness this dark underbelly its is to prepare you. It has to stop and it has to stop now.
You are the next generation, you will be the ones to make the difference. There are thousands of brilliant and exceptional mentors, midwives, managers and matrons who want to see an end to this. We are talking about a minority of people who are perpetuating this dark side of midwifery, and if the next generation refused to entertain the comments, the jibes and the mistreatment and instead seek out the many mentors, midwives, managers and supervisors and ask for help - then surely in time it will wither away and dissapear?
The profession has always had fights to fight and battles to win but this one is at our core. We must protect our young, our fledglings, our future, ourselves. So next time someone is gossiping, ignore it, busy yourself elsewhere. Next time you are bullied or made to cry in practice, tell someone, talk to your mentor or Uni, tutor, ward manager, supervisor of midwives and offload. Don’t carry those feelings around even if its just to talk about it, you don’t have to make a complaint but if you do you are standing up for yourself and the future student midwives to be.
Change, and possibly the type of future that midwifery has, starts with whether you accept being mistreated or witnessing mistreatment. You, and only you, can decide that.
Total Comments 7
Comments
 |  Well done J ™. Very true - hopefully someone who is in that situation will read this and get the confidence they need to be able to stand up for themselves without being shot down in flames. I love your writing, you really have got a way with words. xx |
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| |  this is awesome J ™- i really hope somebody takes notice. has it been printed in any journals or anything? xxxxx |
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| |  I have the most upside down life atm so didnt pursue any journals however Ive had some interesting discussions about the content today so you may be seeing it again somewhere at some point  Thanks for the kind words my lovelies xx |
| Updated 07-Jul-2008 at 17:22 by J™ |
| |  This is so very true, and so very sad J ™, before I started the course I had heard about the bitching, backstabbing and bullying that goes on, and it did really worry me. I have had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of this on placement, and worse still to witness the bullying of a lady because she dared to ask for something the person caring for her wasn't happy to provide. Where is the informed choice in that? It made me so very angry, so much so that I did mention it to someone 'higher up' I have no idea if anything will be done about it, but feel I have done my bit in telling someone about it. As students we shouldn't be put in a situation where we feel we have to do that, but sadly we either turn the other cheek and ignore it as you say, or, stand up and be counted, I chose the latter! if it backfires on me at least I know I did my best to protect the people I am looking after from being treated as inconveniences!!!! |
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| |  J ™, thank you so much for writing this - it rang true for me as soon as I read it. I have had 'bully' mentors, two professionals have made me cry in practice (can give you some good examples if you want!), but I've also (to my shame) fallen victim to assimilation fever and agreed with gossips so as not to rock the boat. Now I'm more careful, and I think a lot more about what I say, to who, and when. I try not to get drawn into gossip, and if I have concerns I will vocalise them to a mentor/manager as soon as possible. I guess I am self-censoring, but I like to think that this is about developing my professional communication skills and protecting myself from falling into the b*tchy culture. Please, please consider seeking publication somewhere - this needs to be seen, and by the midwives especially. If you need any legwork for references etc, I'd be more than happy (and I'm sure you'll have more volunteers!) |
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| |  Well said J ™ - you really do have a way with words - you are wonderful I'm not even a student midwife yet (still another 2 yrs away for me!!) but I do work in a maternity unit and I see 1st hand this going on, only last week I witnessed a mentor ripping into a 3rd yr student midwife who was reduced to tears, it wasn't even done that privately, anyone walking past that desk would have heard what was said  We need to make mentors/midwives aware of this culture and how damaging it is - sometimes I think they get so disillusioned by the job that they forget what it was once like to be a student. We were all once students and to a certain degree we are all still learning, whether you are a student midwife or a ward manager/matron - there is still so much to learn. Patience and tolerance are 2 things which are sadly lacking xxx |
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| | Thank you for your comments. Upsy - you make a very good point - patience and tolerance can be lacking and this is often due to the stressful work environment and conditions midwives are working in - no breaks, no food, 3 labouring women, running the ward and having a student. I can see how it happens but what I am asking students to do is to not accept it, its not their fault and in many ways its not the midwives fault but why should the student be the one to bare the brunt? students are the most vulnerable group so are easy pickings as NS said in her post on the thread this article is in on the forum. Alot needs to change and from my 'student' perspective - perhaps when I qualify I'll be seeing this all from a different angle and you know me, I'll be trying my best to make positive changes then to! |
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