Mother Hen

Many of you have asked me to write more about my mum, Babs. Ive finally got round to snaffling half an hour away from the sites to do so.....

This is how it went yesterday...

*Ring Ring*

Hello Mum, how are you?

Jo? is that you? Jo? (well she did phone my phone but then of course I could be anyone, of course, bless..)

Whats A L O P E C I A?

Alopecia mum? thats where you hair falls out.

Oh Right, yes of course. And the poor girl has eczema, bless her what a shame. Thats sad. (sounding a bit like the nan on Catherine Tate minus the swearing).

Whose that then mum?

One of my girls. Now, what do muslims eat?

Food mum (I cant resist teasing her).

Oh! You! says Babs, I know that, but is there anything they dont like to have.

Pork, pork derived products and meat has to be halal.

Oh right. So she wont eat bacon in a quiche then?

No mum she wont like that, so no bacon in the quiche. (Reminding anyone of the wafer thin ham gag from the Royle Family? Shes a vegetarian Nan, (nan) well thats ok its only wafer thin this ham...)

Shame, its homemade says Babs. Anything else?

Well no alcohol mum.

Well Im not going to be giving a 13 year old alcohol!

No mum didnt think you would but thats all I know, I will download you some info from the net.

Thanks love. So no bacon?

No mum, no bacon.

Shame. Wheres halals then?

Its not a shop mum. It means a prayer is said when the animals are killed for meat.

Oh.

[Silence]

Have I got to say a prayer when I cook the meat?

No mum youre alright without the prayers just make sure any meat is halal.

Ok. Theres alot to know isnt there?

Yes mum its good to know all this stuff. So whose the girl?

One of my students whose coming, Ive got 3 more coming, when these two go home. Ive had lovely letters from them and Ive spoken to all the parents on the phone.

Babs is a real mother hen, she loves looking after exchange students and always ticks the box for the young ones with health conditions, special needs, diet etc. She likes to look after people.

You'll never guess what?

Whats that mum?

Well the girls Ive got now, they came in in flood of tears, two of their friends came in with them and they were lost. Such a shame, they broke thieir hearts they did and its half past six at night. They couldnt remember where they were staying so dad them up and down the local streets seeing if they recognised anything but no, nothing. So I rang the emergency line, you dont like to but well what can you? do those poor girls. Bless their hearts.

Well yes mum I agree thats what the emergency line is for...

Well John on the phone, I know him, says hes so glad they came to me, so I said you calling me a mother hen? and he said Yes! Would you believe! hes a cheeky one, but then I supposed its true!! We had a real laugh.

What happened to the girls?

Turned out they were 4 doors down, they just didnt know what the address was as they werent told. Thats awful isnt it, poor girls. I make all mine up a card for their bags to say where they are staying and what the numbers are and all that, well they are only littleuns...

Aw! Mum thats sweet Im glad the girls got back ok.

Yes but one didnt eat her tea as she was so upset about it all! and Im not happy about that, dont want her getting ill.

I sure she'll be fine, mum.

Right best get on, so no bacon?

No mum, no bacon.

Ok love, no bacon, love you.

Love you too mum.

I cant help but smile when I get off the phone to my mum