Hmmmm time for an update!!!
Posted 22-Jun-2008 at 22:46 by upsy daisy
Well, been a little while since I last updated my blog....hmm not really much to say so apologies if this is boring reading but it really does help to "write" things down so I can read back and reflect!!
Well, job is still going well, most of the staff and other midwives are fantastic and I've had some lovely feedback, one midwife brought me some chocolates in for helping her out with some computer probs, another despite being amazingly stressed after a horrendous shift on p/n, brought me some chocolates from the handover room, put on my desk and told me to help myself cos we (ward clerks) never get to share the chocolates and she thinks I'm fab and worth my weight in gold (which will be considerably more if I keep eating these chocolates late at night LOL LOL)!!! So, yes, there are still some unfriendly people BUT the majority more than make up for it!!!
Got letter from college on Fri saying that they'd received my application for for access and that I would be contacted in the next 2wks about an interview etc YAY!!!
feel like it's starting to come together now!! I am worried about how we'll cope financially though, our finances are stretched atm and committing to paying for the access course and the 1 day a week childcare that I'll need to pay for Cameron is also a worry (Lewis will get free childcare as he's over 3) 
However, whoever said that something worth doing was going to be easy???!!!
Hopefully OH's job will continue to go well and if things go to plan, we'll be in a position to start reducing some of our debts before I apply to uni - here's keeping everything I can find crossed!!!
I do have a nagging thought in the back of my mind though that I would love another baby......OH would LOVE another, in fact he is keener on the idea that I am!! BUT, I keep talking myself out of it for various reasons....
1. Had such a bad labour last time - could I really put myself through it again?
2. Only have 3 bedrooms and already C's bedroom is only a boxroom - we need to think about an extension which we can't afford atm
3. We would never fit 3 carseats in the back of my car, and I cannot afford a new one - plus OH has to keep his company car for another 2 yrs and he wouldn't fit 3 carseats in his either
4. Childcare would be so much more of an issue with 3 kids
5. I would have to put my studies on hold
6. I'm not getting any younger (34 ugh!) and OH definitely not (40)
7. I'd love a little girl but with OH having 3 boys already (eldest with previous partner) the odds don't look so good!! Plus this is NO reason to want another baby!!!!!
But on the other hand I hate to think I will never be pregnant again, never get chance to have the natural birth I so wanted (1st birth was Prem so too many staff present) and 2nd was an assisted due to fetal distress and my exhaustion (I will always blame myself for how badly things went wrong ) and to think I will never breastfeed again (fed both my boys for 12 months each!)......
Arrrrgh, just realised what a mammoth blog post this was - sorry if you're reading this and wondering what a total headcase I must be LMAO!!!
xxx
Well, job is still going well, most of the staff and other midwives are fantastic and I've had some lovely feedback, one midwife brought me some chocolates in for helping her out with some computer probs, another despite being amazingly stressed after a horrendous shift on p/n, brought me some chocolates from the handover room, put on my desk and told me to help myself cos we (ward clerks) never get to share the chocolates and she thinks I'm fab and worth my weight in gold (which will be considerably more if I keep eating these chocolates late at night LOL LOL)!!! So, yes, there are still some unfriendly people BUT the majority more than make up for it!!!
Got letter from college on Fri saying that they'd received my application for for access and that I would be contacted in the next 2wks about an interview etc YAY!!!
feel like it's starting to come together now!! I am worried about how we'll cope financially though, our finances are stretched atm and committing to paying for the access course and the 1 day a week childcare that I'll need to pay for Cameron is also a worry (Lewis will get free childcare as he's over 3) However, whoever said that something worth doing was going to be easy???!!! Hopefully OH's job will continue to go well and if things go to plan, we'll be in a position to start reducing some of our debts before I apply to uni - here's keeping everything I can find crossed!!!
I do have a nagging thought in the back of my mind though that I would love another baby......OH would LOVE another, in fact he is keener on the idea that I am!! BUT, I keep talking myself out of it for various reasons....
1. Had such a bad labour last time - could I really put myself through it again?
2. Only have 3 bedrooms and already C's bedroom is only a boxroom - we need to think about an extension which we can't afford atm
3. We would never fit 3 carseats in the back of my car, and I cannot afford a new one - plus OH has to keep his company car for another 2 yrs and he wouldn't fit 3 carseats in his either
4. Childcare would be so much more of an issue with 3 kids
5. I would have to put my studies on hold
6. I'm not getting any younger (34 ugh!) and OH definitely not (40)
7. I'd love a little girl but with OH having 3 boys already (eldest with previous partner) the odds don't look so good!! Plus this is NO reason to want another baby!!!!!
But on the other hand I hate to think I will never be pregnant again, never get chance to have the natural birth I so wanted (1st birth was Prem so too many staff present) and 2nd was an assisted due to fetal distress and my exhaustion (I will always blame myself for how badly things went wrong
) and to think I will never breastfeed again (fed both my boys for 12 months each!)......Arrrrgh, just realised what a mammoth blog post this was - sorry if you're reading this and wondering what a total headcase I must be LMAO!!!
xxx
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Comments
 |  I so know exactly what you mean, I really don't know how we'll cope financially while I'm at university as we are really stretched atm and with costs rising, while we won't be losing much as I only work PT, adding travel costs to the mix will make us worse off. On the other hand, I'm never going to earn much in this career path while if I do this and get a job at the other end, we'll be better off but then there are no guarantees as to a job once qualified. Also, like you, I kinda like the idea of another baby and OH would really love it but practically, for almost exactly the same reasons as you, can't really have another one just to get the perfect birth, because while I did have two natural births, they weren't quite how I would have liked things to go and I would have loved a home birth and because I'd quite like a girl too. But I can't be guaranteed a girl or the perfect birth because there will always be something, always a better way it could have gone. Wow this is a long reply, I've practically written my own blog entry, so sorry Upsy Daisy! Anyway, what I mean is your blogs are always good reading and it is so nice to 'hear' someone else is going through similar issues as I am. |
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| |  Don't apologise for having a long blog post!!! your blog posts are always interesting reading! I'm sorry you have so many dilemmas! why is there never enough time to do anything?! back on placement from the 7th of july- hopefully see you around!!! xxxxx |
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Recent Blog Entries by upsy daisy
- Back to work tomorrow and sad news (07-Sep-2008)
- Arrrghhhh...mini rant needed (30-Aug-2008)
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