Gosh I sound so negative there, Im just shattered. need bed(whats that)

I have felt supported by the majority of my mentors and think that mainly one contributing factor, which my mentor did discuss with me, was that she had not had a student for about 5years and purely remembering that I was there.

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Hope things improve for you !

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Coffeebean xx


Student Midwife

I have just come home from a very demoralising shift where, after 2 weeks of trying to cultivate a thick skin, I have been reduced to tears by a senior midwife in the delivery suite office. It was over something very minor and quite petty but it was the final straw!!!

I have had great placements with wonderful mentors but this one is a killer because of the cliquey attitude of the senior midwives. They don't respect my mentor never mind me and have undermined both her and me in front of women.

If you compared the report from my last placement about the confident and capable student who was a valuable team member to the student on shift today you wouldn't believe they were the same person . . . and I can't believe I have let them do this to me.

Students need to be nurtured and given learning opportunites to allow them to grow into confident and competent practitioners but unfortunately on this placement I feel too frightened to take any learning opportunities in case I make a mistake - I really wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of sister :0(

I think what makes it worse is not knowing where to go for help, I get the feeling that at uni I would just be told to suck it up and get on with it - the whole attitude that you need to develop a thick skin for when you qualify . . . well if we were all a little nicer to each other we wouldn't need to develop the thick skin so lets all try to be a little nicer and remember when we've qualified what it felt like to be a student.

rant over :0)

aw hun, sorry you've had such a bad shift- just try not to take it to heart and resolve not to be like that- not to be cliquey, nasty or unsupportive.

I'm sure the confident competent valued team member is in there somewhere- just don't let her get buried too deep- you will find your feet on delivery and you won't always have to be there.

You sound fab, and are you sure there's no trusted lecturer/personal tutor you could go and talk to? even if they do ultimately tell you to gain a thicker skin they may be able to offer some advice or identify with your feelings so it eases the dishearted-ness!

chin up hunm try not to let them break your midwifery spirit, big hugs xxxx

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"It's not the destination, it's the glory of the ride"

Go to your named supervisor of midwives, also the uni too, this sort of practice and behaviour needs erradicating now, sorry to hear you've had a shift like that, if the midwives are reading this they should hang their heads in shame, there is no reason on earth to reduce someone to tears nor show disrespect to colleaugues, it is immoral and extremely unprofessional!!

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Forum Buddy


Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

Kookie

Im so sorry you have met the 'underbelly' that I described.

You should talk to your tutor/ward sister and debrief firstly. Then speak to your mentor/midwife you have had this situation with. If no joy then you should then ask your tutor what procedures are in place for dealing with matters like this and then you will need to decide what you are willing to do about it.

Feel free to PM me if you hit any brick walls.

Big hugs

Jxxx

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StudentMidwife.NET Founder

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Want to contribute midwifery or SM2B articles to SMNET? If so, PM me with your thoughts/articles

I have just seen this thread and can relate to many of the comment.

I have had really good mentors, no mentors and mentors who were downright awful. I refuse to cry in front of them. I will not let them see me beaten!

I no longer report it to the uni because they do nothing and some of my tutors are worse. But everytime I have a bad experience I learn from it. I remember what that feels like and I know that I will never treat a student that way when I qualify.

What saddens me is that the bad mentors are usually just as awful to the women they are caring for. We all just have to remember that we are in a place with lots of hormonal women and that includes the midwives.

Just keep plodding on and make sure that when we are midwives we make it difficult for this culture to continue.

Angelcake.


PS. J, you are an inspiration to us all!!! The sooner you are a qualified midwife the better.

I hear what you are saying Angelcake, and thanks for the kind words.

Im concerned that you feel your Uni 'does nothing' and that some of the 'tutors are worse'. That REALLY concerns me. Im putting together a Student Midwife Charter that I will be floating on the site v soon. Its basically what we all want to change and its matters like this that hugely concern me. My Uni were fab when I had my run in with the dark underbelly and I had hoped all students had this safety net. Appears perhaps not.

So in usual J style, Id like to do something about it. I cant bare to think of such a vulnerable group of the best intentioned women suffering like this. It has to stop and there has to be procedures in place for dealing with such matters.

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StudentMidwife.NET Founder

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Want to contribute midwifery or SM2B articles to SMNET? If so, PM me with your thoughts/articles

Can relate to this. Some people, never mind midwives, are horrible. Have to take the rough with the smooth in my opinion however rudeness and bullying should never be tolerated. How it is dealt with is another matter. A member of my cohort discussed 'in confidence', an issue with another midwife. She wished she had kept quiet. It seems that in most cases, there is no 'confidentiality regarding these things... if one person knows then you can bet your life, most others do to. Id say keep your head down, do your job to the best of your ability, earn your 'stripes' and shut up!! sad but true.

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Student Midwife, year one and counting.

The problem with 'earning your stripes' is that this can devestate people, can lead to them leaving the course and in some cases depression. I refer to the kind of earning your stripes that is out right bullying. I woudl ever suggest you 'shut up' if you feel you are being bullied or are not coping well due to the treatment you are experiencing.

There are may situations we will or have found ourselves in and we may have not done something right and felt 'told off' but this isnt bullying, although there is a way of advising someone how to do something they are not sure of or are having a first few goes at.

Its about respect.

In my view there is a line and you know when that is crossed.

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StudentMidwife.NET Founder

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Want to contribute midwifery or SM2B articles to SMNET? If so, PM me with your thoughts/articles