I have found that some of the experiences I have had so far have left me nervous about working in a different area, having to start from scratch with a new mentor, and I have been in a panic when I know they are not going to be there and I have to work with someone else.

Hopefully this will pass in time, but at the moment it makes it a stressful time. The mentor I have atm is brilliant, and I have loved working with her, and will be sad when my placement ends on Sunday.

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

Riabirt,

You hit the nail on the head for me. How do we deal with situations like that? do we get in the clique and gossip and bitch as its easier than standing alone and saying 'I dont want to be part of that'? but then its perpetuated, more people get hurt.

One of the reasons behind the site is to gain student views and try and do something to influence situations like this. Im no fool, I know the culture wont change overnight but there are ways of getting through while we all work on it together. By coming here and debriefing or offloading its helps, I realised that when I first posted in here, I hadnt talked/typed about Id felt before and it make me cry, it was still that raw at that time. But the support and care from members and staff has meant I feel a whole lot better and different and stronger than I did back then. Getting support does help you cope.

My vision is that the next generation of students get support elsewhere rather than go along with perpetuating the bullying/bitching culture that is the hidden undercurrent of some units. If we dont perpertuate it then at some point it will stop. Like 'I dont want you student' those kind of comments, Ive been there when these things have been said but I didnt have the confidence at the time to say anything, instead just watched a fellow student wilt whilst feeling guilty and being so glad it wasnt me. Thats not the way to support colleagues, peers, friends - who would stand by and let that happen outside of work?....

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J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

I completely and wholeheartedly agree J ™.

This subject is very much in my mind at the moment for reasons I cannot go into.

I have never seen any need for it myself and have always been of the mind that should there be problems they should be addressed properly. It is als othe job of the senior midwives to confront these issues and be a supportive and safe place for those with problems to go to, sadly this is often not the case. I do think you know, there is room for change in the near future as the older generation are approaching retirement and us young'uns (loosely speaking) are on the way and soon we will be the majority of the workforce, hopefully with this site and a willful determination to make the workplace better for us and therefore for women we'll get there!

Thank God for this site, it has once again saved me from despair, tbh.

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I do think its a culture thing rather than just a generation thing. Ive witnessed peers sink into the culture, as its safe, or its being 'in' with the in crowd etc, and I have been lovingly treated by senior midwives. For me its deeper than that, its about self esteem, fitting in, socialising into the norms of the workplace etc.

I feel a blog coming on after being inspired by a brave blog today

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J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

True, true, must send you that blooming article. I see how easily it is for students and newly qualifieds to fall into this culture of bitchiness and bullying that dominates midwifery in most areas. It takes courage to stand against the masses and this is doubly hard when training and subsequently when qualifying and working as the need to fit in is so important.

Why this happens, I don't know. Perhaps it begins morale and is habit also? there seems to be a tendency to pretend some are better than others and in my experience , students often get caught in the middle as sounding boards for midwives who seem to constantly criticise others practice, why is this? is it human nature, insecurity, fear? realisation? or merely habit from working in those environments? I have seen it in commnuity placement too, so maybe it is not soley a problem in hospital based midwifery?

Just thinking aloud really, and am very interested as to what the root of the problem is, I understand it is a huge and largely impossible feat to change it, and do any of us really know why?

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I think the problem is a lot of students see their training as their rite of passage INTO this in crowd... they see finishing their training as a welcome into the realms of the tight environment... I do sit and wonder sometimes though.. I've said it before and I'll say it again... Who the hell shoved a stick up their ass when they gave them RM status?! ... But many presume they've earned the right to act like that as they've been through it and come out of the other side.

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yes, I think you have a point. We are lowest on the pecking order really. There is almost a layer system like tiers on a cake, with us at the bottom.

How difficult is it not to be this way I wonder, after three years of being a skivvy at tmies, being shouted at and demeaned, do all of us get treated better and thus human again? and do we then treat students that way too?

In a similar way to a child having a violent parent and then as an adult being violent themselves?

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I think it is a real shame when a mentor does not make a student feel welcome and at ease in their company. As a qualified nurse who mentors students, I find it can be a valuable learning experience for both parties when you are comfortable and able to communicate effectively. The world of nursing and midwifery is constantly changing and we all need to work together and share information quickly and effetively to ensure our clients are recieving the best care

I think that part of the problem is that bullying is rife in midwifery per se. Midwives are working under increasing pressure, with increasing responsibility and decreasing support. And being an autonomous practitioner working among and alongside other autonomous practitioners is often an isolating and divisive experience. People who feel oppressed and bullied will often bully in turn, and the easiest target is the person in the room with the lowest perceived status.

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Love Dory xxx
Just keep swimmin', just keep swimmin'....

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