I actually can't read anymore of tis thread as it's makin me not want to be a midwife (bit dramatic)!!!!! Why don't people try to petition against mentors 'having' to mentor people, surely it should b through choice?? I'm sure these moaning mdwives would be hapy to sign a petition to say they don't want to mentor if it is that much of a problem!

Are there guidelines saying that as a student, you cannot answer mdwives back? If someone called me a doofer or 'shouted' at me i would not be able to bite my tongue!

Do i need to learn to ignore this sort of thing, cause if i do i need to get practising!!!

I'm so sorry you have all had to suffer the wicked tongues of these women!

xx

The thing is though many midwives have to mentor as they are short-staffed, but it is in fact part of their duty to mentor and be able to mentor well, sadly at times they are not. But I guess they are only human.

Yes you do get used to it, it doesn't make it right and it is not easy, but you need a thick skin in midwifery, and gain an ability to step out of your comfort zone and to not take anything personally. Criticism is seen as neccessary for personal and professional development.

Please don't let it put you off, there are many times your mentor will make your day, mine has been brilliant. And I also think as you start to fit in and get to know eachother it becomes much easier, it takes alot of effort to get to that stage though and using all of the aforementioned skills!

go for it and don't let anyone put you off!

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You are right smmdwife

why should other people affect our decisions to follow our passions in life. No one will stop me becoming a midwife as i know i will do a good job, it's just awful that people can be so harsh in such a caring job role!

Thanks for advice, i'll have to come on here for a rant when my time comes!

x

I had a chat with our placement facilitator on friday and she said how are you getting on.
I said, up and down but the majority of bad shifts are followed by good ones.

Her only advice was to try to be easy going, let it wash over you. Her words were "if you can't be flexible and thick skinned as a student, you'd struggle as a midwife, when you haven't got the student umbrella to protect you".

In a way, she is right. But it is difficult. Especially when you know that making a complaint could potentially make the rest of your student placement hell.

BUT not everyone is having a hard time with their mentors and I know my cohort are fantastically suppsortive, as I'm sure yours will be, Cariblue. Don't give up. I believe we can change things and we all know how it feels to be a newbie - I'm sure we'll all be lovely mentors and will take care of our fledgeling midwives.

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Student die Hebamme und ich liebe es!
(Student Midwife and I love it!)

i have worked in the NHS for >20 years and there has always been back-stabbing, bitching and moaning. It is sad and wrong but put women together in a stressful environment where they have little control over their destiny and it always happens, just look at Big Brother.

Growing a thick skin is the best defence - I don't believe it will ever change because it is human nature to turn on each other when threatened. It has happened all the time throughout history.

I have developed the attitude; if you're talking about me negatively, at least i'm not boring, which would be infinately worse!

You have to learn to laugh at the poor unfortunates who have nothing more interesting in their lives than trying to upset you - go home to those who love you and metaphorically spit in the eyes of those who don't

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Laugh in the face of the devil Eat Chocolate

LOL!!
great attitude!

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Site Administrator, Student Mentor Scheme Manager

STMW 2nd year - no, really!

A couple of semesters ago I had a bit of a todo with my labour ward mentor. On occasion we don't really get on - not that we clash, just that she never really teaches much or talks to me, never gives feedback or anything like that. Anyway, we had just done a quick final interview, we had about 10 minutes at the end of a shift to do it. It was my last shift, and my mentor just wrote down some bits and then rushed off home. I got home and read her comments. Some of them were quite negative - just stuff like lacking confidence and not being fast enough with paperwork. She also put that when things got wrong I need to take more of a role. I was absolutley gutted and really disappointed that during the whole four week placement she had never once mentioned any of these things, and then I had several weeks before I was going back on there. For a few days I dwelt on it and got really down and depressed. It really knocked my confidence and I dreaded going back. I'm normally quite shy and quiet, but I decided I would go in to talk to her. I went in and said how I felt that she had never talked about it and never gave me feedback. She went bright red and said that she didn't want to make me feel bad. Since then, she has been great and regularly gives me feedback and says when I have done a good job and talks about things I need to work on. I just wish I had spoken to her sooner cos I would have developed a hell of a lot more quickly.

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3rd year Student Midwife

You lot are making me sad i for one adore working with students - if you challenge my practice i grow and i try not to take it as a criticism.
To all those prospective m/ws please dont let reports of some bad experiences put you off - some of us old biddies welcome students and even like to have a good old debate with them!!

If you feel devalued or belittled by your mentor this is wrong - talk to your student placement midwife to discuss ways to improve the situation, to feedback to the mentor concerned in a constructive way or, if all else fails move to another mentor. It is part of the midwives' role to mentor students.
One of the nicest things i heard recently was a newly qualified midwife talking to another and she said; "nappysack taught me to think for myself and not to be a doctor's handmaiden" - being a mentor is the part of my role i enjoy the most.

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Laugh in the face of the devil Eat Chocolate

I find that it isn't always the fact of having a bad mentor that is the problem, although that is bad enough. It is not having one at all, which I find very difficult to deal with.

Students are meant to have a mentor, and I understand that things happen and the one you have been aloocated doesn't always work out for whatever reason, but surely it should be possible to be allocated another one to work with you and support you?

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

PAB Support Worker

Yes this is my issue, as yet agian both my PLFs are on annual leave at the same time, luckily im still in the community and we have a base, but I feel so stupid asking, Who can have me today! One of my mentors works part time so I have to chop and change mentors to keep my hours up.

I have managed to work normally with only three mentors(2 my assigned PLF's) with the odd one or two out side the three I mainly work with. If this makes sense. Then I get inconsistancy of mentorship written on my portfolio!


Does anyone have mentors that never introduce you? I feel like such a loose part and get very frustrated.

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