I was just wondering what everybody's experiences have been like with mentors. I've had some fantastic teachers, friendly mentors, and generally great practitioners as mentors, but I have also had a couple of terrible mentors, who really tested my commitment to the course. What makes a good mentor, and what do you do when you have a bad mentor?

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3rd year Student Midwife

Good question.

I had the naive belief when I started that midwives had a choice in the matter when it comes to mentoring, this appears usually to not be the case

I got on well with my first community mentor, but I quickly learned she really couldn't be bothered and was seriously looking to leave midwifery anyway. When I went back for my next five weeks she was off sick and I got let down a few times, so asked other members of the team if they would mentor me (this was soul destroying) But Igot a good one and she is still in touch now.

I have worked with several in these three weeks in the hospital and some are very good, some terrible and some have honestly made me question my commitment to the course. I have been talked to like dirt and shouted at several times and it has been very hard.

The mentors I think were/are the best are those with some humility and understanding, some who have a huge ego and massive power complex are awful and seem to take great pleasure in constantly putting you in your place.

Overall most are lovely and do their best to teach, not patronise and genuinely care.

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I'm 2 weeks into a commuity placement, and 3 Mentors down. My main Mentor who is on annual leave at the moment (why the hell she was given a student, i dunno) is really lovely, we have a great time, but as a MW, blimey, really wishy-washy, and so drippy, cannot make a decision. Really got me down the first week tbh, i didnt realise how important it would be. Totally uninspiring in the areas that i'm passionate about. But she's friendly, and it could hav been sooo much worse.

I had two more Mentors last week, and only one has inspired me. I've been shocked how lax their BFing advice is, all of them on the whole have been pretty lame in this department. I have put in an informal 'nice' request to be put with the mentor big on BFing next community placement.....and will be keeping my fingers crossed.

I think the best mentors are the ones that remember what it is like to be a student, and are passionate about being a mentor too. In some ways, the newly qualified midwives are the best to work with (especially early on), although they won't be mentors, because everything from uni is fresh in their heads, they appreciate what we're going through, and hopefully they're still really passionate about midwifery and haven't become too demoralised. Also, their clinical skills should be right up-to-date, however, they obviously lack the experience. I also think you learn so much from each other, and I'm really looking forward to doing some 'confidence' deliveries, where two students work together with a woman. I think that will be amazing and we'll learn so much.
It is annoying when you're constantly being chopped and changed with mentors, athough at the same time, you don't want to work with the same one all the time and become a little 'clone' of them. It's great to pick and choose the best bits from working with lots of people, although this can be confusing because there is so much inconsistency out there.
The bad mentors, as horrible as they are, also are great teachers. I've learnt more about how not to behave than I have from anyone else!

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3rd year Student Midwife

I have had some absolutely FANTASTIC mentors so far!! I have learnt sooo much off them! I've been really lucky.. Although I don't think theres many midwife mentors at my unit I wouldn't want! (Except one, who I very nearly got put with for my next placement, managed to change for a lovely mentor though!) lol

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Duel X
3rd year student midwife
Moderator

Hey I like the sound of the confidence deliveries what a great idea, I'd love to do that with one of my friends it would be fab, but then we're all so different so I don't know how it would work really.
I've had excellent mentorship-if a little abandoned at times-current climate etc.
I've had some fantastic experiences and also have felt like "a rabbit caught in the headlights" with my current mentor, but I told her that I felt on edge at times with her, and ended up panicking about other issues that to me seemed trivial. She was great once I'd told her and laughed and said sorry bless her she's fab, been qualified 25 years and prefers nurse trained midwives but we're cool now (or at least I think we are lol)

I will meet my mentor on thurday night, i hope shes nice!!!
XXX

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Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

I am about to embark on my first placement I start on tuesday...I have only spoken to my mentor over the phone and she sound and has been fantastic, because she only works part time she has arranged a second mentor for me to make sure I have enough hours... I have spoken to mentor two and she also seems lovely so fingers crossed that the illusions aren't shattered...just yet anyway!!...lol

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Sandy
1st year student midwife @ southampton.

The very first nurse I was assigned to yelled at me in front of everyone (including the patient) on my first day of clinicals. I was 18 and had never been in a position like that! But, she turned out to be one of the best teachers I've ever had. I learned to get around the gruffness (which is so hard especially when I'm having a grumpy day myself) and just watch her. Even the ones who didn't want to bother with a student I could learn from. I guess somehow I'm able to keep a smile on my face and eventually they melt a little, I've been able to work with and build good strong relationships with some people who no one else could get along with.

When I'm with someone to learn, I remind myself that and try to find things to learn, if that makes sense. To me, it's about learning how to deal with different personalities, which is important when you want to work with people.

Developing a thick skin is essential, don't you think? Should maybe start thinking about developing my thick skin rather than coming home and bursting into tears more often than I would like. Doing it less and less though.

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3rd year Student Midwife