How do you feel before a shift?

Aww Penguin!! Big Hugs!! I'm going to assume the time you're posting that you're up for a shift at the moment?

I don't have kids myself, but at times leaving my partner was a massive struggle when he was depressed.
The only thing I can say is, as they get older, it will get easier. They will understand more, and remember, once you're working as a midwife, you won't have days in uni like you do now, and you won't have as much work to be done on evenings.
We had a few people in our cohort take a year out as they were struggling with leaving their children, and as far as I'm aware none of them have come back this year... If you feel this is your only opportunity to do the course, make sure you have thought it through so thoroughly before you make any decision.

Hope things start to feel easier for you! xxx

Hun I'm not in the situation yet but will be in a year. Just think how much you will make them proud getting such A good job for when they start school plus it's great role modelling for them. Sounds like its really hard Hun. Have you got a holiday period in April to look forward to? Know it seems ages away but it'll come round really quick. Sorry your feeling like this massive hugs x

I do feel your pain! I think that in this course, there is some sort of expectation that you love every second and you should feel greatful to have your place in the course. The reality is that sometimes you have a crappy day, you don't like your mentor, you don't want to go in, you feel tired/crampy/emotional.

You don't have to love it all the time for it to be 'right.' Leaving your kids must feel awful, and only you can weigh up if you want to keep doing this. It will get easier, but I'm sure you will always miss them and sometimes regret the time spent away from them. At the end of the day though, everyone has to make sacrifices and you need to decide what you will regret more: leaving the course or spending some time away from your children. Keep your chin up lovely, and give it some time! I hope you feel better soon xxx

Awww. I feel ok about working as i went back to work when my eldest was 4 months old (had no choice and that was standard mat leave). Im doing this for my children, as are you. Step out of the situation that you think it is for a moment and fast forward 3 years, your eldest will be 6? and the baby will be 4? will they hold it against you that you were not there every morning/bedtime or will they be happier when you are together on a family holiday in the sunshine or when you say yes they can go on that school trip with the rest of the class. the next 2.5 years will be tough and you might really regret some days, but the children will not remember. even when the children get older they still reach milestones everyday, and when they are asked by friends what mum does, they can say with a smile 'my mums a midwife'.
If i wasnt doing this course, i would be at work as staying and home drives me insane, i think i see my children more now than i did before. Isnt that saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'?
Now go and do that shift with a smile on your face and make a difference. x

Aw sweetie I hate seeing you so miserable, and I too just want you to be happy. If that means postponing midwifery, then so be it! You're young, you have so much time to do this. How different would you feel if the boys were at school? I couldn't have did it before my boys were at school, and if I had another I'd hate to miss the little developmental stages, I don't think I could be away til they were at least 2. That's just me though. I know I'm coming at this from a different angle than everyone else, but I don't want you to feel forced into staying in this situation, it's your choice xXxXx

I know how you feel about missing the children, I really wasn't prepared for how much I'd miss mine, especially the youngest. It breaks my heart when he cries because I can't pick him up from school every day (or any day!). About once or twice a week so far I've decided to leave the course, but I keep telling myself to take it one week at a time, so far taking it in baby steps has worked. When I find myself really looking forward to my days off I think maybe this isn't what I want to do, but then maybe it's normal, I'm not sure.

I agree with what's been said before, you shouldn't have to feel grateful to be on the course and of course you won't love it all of the time, but if you are really sad and the course is making you more miserable than it's making you happy, then maybe talk to your uni about taking some time out, but please try not to think about leaving altogether, you will be an amazing midwife when the time comes. xxxx

Aw hun!

To be honest I feel differently to you but then I have never liked the frustrating baby stage when my kids have been growing up. I have always preferred to be with them when they are older. I have good days and bad days, it depends on what's going on at home, how much work I have to do and how stressed/tired I am. I am the opposite to you, I am a nightmare when I'm in uni block weeks. I don't know what it is about them but I get stressed out and feel cooped up. I think its due to being in almost every day and only being with my boys one day a week and feeling guilty that all I want to do that day is study! I am much happier in placement weeks, I think this is due to being in less as they are longer shifts so less days. I get time at home without the kids around to study and so when the kids and me are at hone at the same time I am not thinking about studying and can spend time with them.

I hope this is just a blip for you, but if it really is not making you happy and is making you miserable then maybe think about taking a year out. Do think about it really really carefully though as you don't want to have regrets. Could it be just that you aren't getting enough support when you are on placement from hone and at uni?

Can I ask do you do integrated or block weeks? I wonder as I do block weeks and would find it much harder with integrated weeks.


I hope you are feeling a bit better today xxx

Aww hunni,

I feel your pain, I really do. It is so hard leaving the kids to go in for a shift and I have had times when I've envied my oh because he gets to spend so much time at home.
I don't know who said it but I also started taking it each step at a time and I can honestly say it does get better. I think it's very normal to want to leave the course at some point (I've wanted to leave about 4 times!) but you need to think very carefully. I am so glad I stayed on the course, as I over come each blip, I become stronger, more confident and even more passionate. I'm sure you will too! No one said it was going to be easy and when reality hits home it is a shocker to the system, but remember how hard you've worked already and remember why you wanted to do this in the first place.
Your kids will be so proud of you!