Still birth/maternal deaths..how do you cope?

I've just started reading this, stillbirth is something that scares me, I don't know how I'll cope and yet I feel guilty for feeling like that, afterall I won't be the one in true pain. I just hope I can in some small way help the parents to deal with this, I have no idea how.

I think this book should be on a 'you must read these books before starting your degree' list.

To all those with babies born sleeping, you are so brave, I can't imagine the grief my thoughts are with you xxx I have bought the book and read every single one of these posts, this thread is so important, not just so that we know what we are getting ourselves into by joining this profession but to always remind us that it is not about us, it's about the families and the care that we can give them. Very true that this is the best and the worst job in the world! And the post about having to go back into the next room and not bring the negativity with you makes it all the more real. I never thought about having to continue with your job straight away. I agree with funky munkey, it should be made compulsory before applying. I had considered this very carefully for months before starting my application, debating with myself as to whether I could cope, something like this would stay with me forever, I can't imagine how the parents must feel, where do they get the strength!?

Are you allowed to request to work with bereaved families? It's something I'd like to do once I am qualified because of my history I think I will be good at it be truly able to empathise.

I think it's okay to show some emotion in front of the family as long as you remain in control. My midwife kept telling me how amazing I was at coping and she told me that Isabella was beautiful.

It's a fine balance and a very important one. Obviously as I am only doing the access course at the moment I have never had any experience from the other side of the coin at the moment x

I recently looked a bereaved family for the first time. I was surprised at how well I handled it. I helped her to dress the baby and along with my mentor took some hand and footprints and ran around like a crazy woman trying to find the hat that the neonatal unit had mislaid. It was very sad, but I felt like I had done all I could to help her to have some lovely memories of her beautiful baby. I was very composed whilst at work, but did shed a tear or two when I got home. xx

Just wondered if there are any books on how to cope with maternal death? I know it is rare so there probably isnt but just wanted something to help me. Thanks

i came across one:

dont know its what your looking for xx

Thankyou have ordered it. Am sure time is also a great healer.

yeah i agree with that mamamia7 xx

Mammamia check the first page...amazing book very humbling xx

The when a baby dies book? I wanted something to read on maternal death not stillbirth..does it include anything? Thanks