Still birth/maternal deaths..how do you cope?

oh god!

although this makes for some sad reading i think it is an excellent thread and a bit of a reality check for us wannabes! makes me realise as a mum how lucky i am to have taken home a healthy baby. can i ask has anyone ever been in the situation where the mother has not survived? how would you cope with the family and the baby would the father be allowed to stay with the baby if he could?

I agree, this thread prepares me a bit, in case I come across this, which I most definitely will. Thank you to you ladies who have answered these questions.
To those who have experienced these situattions, have you ever felt like it's been your fault that a baby has ever died, for example during a delivery?

JX

I didn't realise these things a) were routinely done, and b) took so long. That must be an awful thing to have hanging over you for so long, even when you know that there was nothing else that could have been done I have to admit it does make me wonder how I woud react in a situation like that (I have a tendency to over-analyse stuff anyway when there's a chance I could have changed things had I done something differently ).

I have just read through this entire thread and it has really opened my eyes up. Thank you for sharing your difficult experiences. Iolaus I knew litigation was high in midwifery but I never imagined it could go on for so long and you could attend court even if you wasn't directly involved in the care, thank you for this information.
Many people have said to me how would I cope in situations like these, and I know I would find it difficult as I'm sure any human would, but at the end of the day you need to be there for that family. They are the ones that have lost their child and for that moment in their life they need your support and loving care. I can imagine I would go into autopilot and deal with my emotions later with my colleagues.

Yes, this has happened to me. I answered an emergency buzzer when a woman had shoulder dystocia. 8 years later I had a letter from the hospital/solicitors asking me to attend a meeting to discuss this case. The parents were suing the hosptial because their daughter did not have full use of one of her arms, that was attributed to the difficulties at delivery. So the hospital solicitors were putting together statements from all people involved. - I was in the room for only about 5 minutes.

This is a few years ago now and I've not been called back since. Most cases are settled out-of-court.