Tough shift

I'm so sorry redpiggy, I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to be in that situation xxx

No wonder you feel overwhelmed - I had goosebumps just reading it. Well done for keeping it together and being switched on enough to scribe - you should be proud of yourself

Aww chukin- massive hugs.

You should be incredibly proud of yourself for slipping in to that professional persona (when you were scribing) and then being wobbly afterwards (when you were human). This is who we are and part of what it means to be a Midwife- poker face during, go to pieces after, and noone will think any the less of you for it (and if they do- they've been in the job too long!).

It's always a slap in the face when you experience something like this- when things go wrong in our line of work it tends to go fast and it tends to go bad- which is frightening and traumatic at the best of times let alone when you're supposed to be professional, practical and skilled about it.

The main thing is though that this case did not have a terrible outcome- just a mildly-scary-for-a-while one- this mum and baby made it through and no doubt you played a part in that.

You may well feel shocked and wobbly for a while, so be gentle with yourself and I cannot express how important it is to take them up on the offer of a debrief. It might be valuable to write a reflection as well so that you can really examine what happened, why, the way you felt and what (if anything) you'd do next time.

Lots of hugs and support coming your way- you never forget your first truly awful practice moment, and you don't forget many of the ones after either. But you learn more and more every time, and you did your job just as you should have done, and you should be commended for that.

Nice big glass of wine thoroughly recommended.

xx

what Butterfly said

We have all done the swan impression, calm on the surface, paddling like mad underneath, and it's not unusual to collapse once you get out of the water - but you cope whilst the emergency is happening. I remember one particularly bad shift (well actually the shift afterwards as everything went wrong an hour before the shift ended so we all stayed very late) the sister in charge made a comment that she'd have to buy shares in kleenex as all of us were crying on her shoulder (and like you noone had died, just 3 babies and 1 woman had come very close (not triplets seperate cases) and it was the release needed) as she said that it's not the midwives fault, this happens in midwifery it's scary and we do the best we can, sometimes it's not enough, turn to your collagues they've all been there, they understand then go home and hug your loved ones

Hugs hun. It sounds like you did really well and after the adrenalin wears off it's not unusual to feel teary. It sounds like a scary situation and thank goodness everything turned out ok, but it's a reminder sometimes it doesn't. Glad you're feeling a bit better now, but you take care and get more support from us and your placement/uni if you need to xx