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Very poorly mum and concerns about course :(

Discussion in 'Managing Emotions' started by Mootix, Feb 1, 2012.

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  1. Mootix Member

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    Hi All,

    I have recently just come back off maternity leave and intercalated. Within a week of me returning back to placement my mother became very very ill. We have just recieved the news my mum has secondary cancer of the liver, Omentum and ovarys and lungs.
    I honestly think my head is going to explode. I have been taking time out here and there to take her to hosp then care for her and my two younger teenage brothers and Im wondering how the hell is this going to affect my course. Uni and placement have been very good so far but im so worried each time I have to call in to say that I cant make it that its going to be a black mark against my name.
    Also coupled with the fact we dont have an idea of if my mum is going to be able to have treatment until they have done the hysterectomy next week. Basically the cancer is terminal and we have been told its going to be a case of prolonging her life rather than cure her.
    Last week she had 7 liters of fluid removed from her abdomen and its building up again and she is being drained again tomo.
    What the hell am I going to do. Add to this 3 children of my own.
    Im losing my mum and im scared im also going to lose the one thing that Im counting on keeping me sane becoming a midwife.
    When im on placement most of the time I am on the ball and feel ok with what im doing then it hits me what is happening and I lose my train of thought and struggle.

    Sorry for the ramblings but im desperate for advice.

    XX
    Mootix, Feb 1, 2012
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  2. chinamonkey Active Member

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    oh hun, have you spoken to Uni/ Hospital about your concerns? would you be able to take another year out or is that not an option?

    Im so so sorry to hear what you are going through. Massive hugs xxxxx
    chinamonkey, Feb 1, 2012
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  3. Penguin Moderatorgator

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    I'm so sorry hun, I have no advice regarding the course other than to try and work through it with your personal tutor to help you come to a decision, only you know what is best. My thoughts are with you and your family xxx
    Penguin, Feb 1, 2012
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  4. bombo Member

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    I have no words that can make you feel any better, and i cannot even begin to imagine how difficult and heartbreaking this situation must be for you and your family... I just wanted to send you big hugs and all my best wishes, take care xxx
    bombo, Feb 1, 2012
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  5. Hoping Moderator

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    Im sorry to hear this too. I have no real advice and can only say that I understand what you are going through as I went through the same thing with my dad throughout my first year. Make sure you talk to your tutor so they can support you too xxx
    Hoping, Feb 1, 2012
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  6. Lil Miss Sunshine Welfare Moderator

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    i was thinking that as well, maybe you could take another year out. It sounds like a huge amount to cope with. I'm very sorry to hear about your mum :( bless her xx
    Lil Miss Sunshine, Feb 1, 2012
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  7. Butterfly Senior Manager and Midwifery Survivor!

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    Much love and support coming your way- thinking of you and your family at such a heartbreaking time.

    I agree you need to speak with your tutor to talk about your options. Would it be such a terrible think to take 6-12 months out of the course to concentrate on your family? Training to be a Midwife is enough on its own without family matters and the thought of losing someone very close to you hanging over your head every second- there is no shame in stepping back sometimes and re-organising your priorities.

    A family member who is going through long-term treatment for a serious illness, or who has a terminal disease will take huge chunks out of you and your family emotionally- but only you know what is the best option for you.

    Hope things get a little easier soon. Huge hugs and love xx
    Butterfly, Feb 4, 2012
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  8. Azalea Well-Known Member

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    I can't offer any additional advice... Just wanted to send some hugs your way xx
    Azalea, Feb 4, 2012
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  9. casualelegance Active Member

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    Everyone here has said what I wanted to... but you and your family are in my thoughts :hug:
    casualelegance, Feb 4, 2012
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  10. Glinda Member

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    Aww Mootix i am so sorry you are having such an awful time :bighug:, i too agree with the others and think 6 months out is very much needed. Midwifery will always be there and we only have 1 mum. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family big hugs xxxxx
    Glinda, Feb 4, 2012
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