Step Parents, unorthodox families, how do you do yours? - Page 3

J™ · #21 (**permalink**) 30-Apr-2008, 11:58

Its gonna be great to put names to faces at the Bton meet

and I glad you feel like you do about this place. Its what I really wanted, somewhere to talk about everything and get support and understanding. You are an amazing woman, never forget that xx

smwife · #22 (**permalink**) 30-Apr-2008, 12:08

Looking forward to it! not sure yet how to fund it, we'll see...

Be great to meet you all

tracyb · #23 (**permalink**) 30-Apr-2008, 12:12

Sooz, wow what can I say words fail me really, but I hope it feels good to get it out, as you say you have probably bottled all this up for some time now, its bizarre isn't it? The complexties of the family, it would seem nothing is every straight froward these days, you should be proud of yourself to get through all this xx

RainbowGoddess · #24 (**permalink**) 30-Apr-2008, 12:30

Sooz, your story has made me cry. There are some horrible people in this world.

I don't know what to say, except echo what's already been said that you are amazing to get through all that.

I'm glad you have such a lovely adoptive family, who it seems, you were meant to be with.

RainbowGoddess · #25 (**permalink**) 30-Apr-2008, 14:54

I want to share with you all a story which I think is appalling even though it is about my relatives.

My great uncle and great aunty (K & R) have a son (C) who has 2 girls by his 1st wife and is remarried and has 2 step children, a boy who lives with his father and a girl who lives with him and his wife. His 2 girls live with their mum but he has them every weekend. For a start, when they bought a new house, the biggest bedroom (I assume apart from his and his wife's) had to be for his girls, even though they only stay at weekends, his step daughter had to have the small room. Personally I think that's unfair, esp as at the time, his stepdaughter was 11 and his girls were 4 and 6, I know there's two of them but as it's only weekends surely they could make do with the small room?

What I think is really appalling though is K & R's xmas routine. Every year, on boxing day they have xmas day i.e. the opening of presents in the morning and the big dinner etc. because C's girls have xmas day with their mum. Fair enough but C and his girls get to sleep the night before, the girls get up all excited, open all their presents from K & R, etc, etc, only at lunchtime are C's wife and children allowed to come, with no presents for them. I think this is appalling and from what I gather, this is the only time of year C's stepchildren are even allowed in K & R's house.

Billynomates · #26 (**permalink**) 30-Apr-2008, 15:03

Rach that is disgraceful. I think we can see from this thread that families can be the cruelest of all people. If a stranger treated us the way some of our families do we wouldn't put up with it.

It makes me realise that you have to appriciate the good family that you have. As I have already said my adoptive family are great, my in laws are pretty good and my hubby and kids are so precious. Take time to appriciate them.........

Also thank you all for you lovely replies to my earlier post, what a fantastic bunch of people we have here.

Susie xx

Butterfly · #27 (**permalink**) 09-Aug-2008, 17:11

My parents split up before i was born, because my dad went off with one of my mum's best friends. The good news is that my dad and her are still together (even after a mid life crisis in which my dad had an affair with a 20 yr old) they have a son, my lil bro, who is 13. I get on really well with my stepmum and she's just part of my family. She has a son from her previous marriage, who's now 22, and we spent alot of our childhood together. I also get my stepmum's parents and her brother and sister with that too, and they're just a part of me too.

My dad has 3 sisters, 2 of them have been married with children, one of them 3 times, and they all have children of their own as my dad's sisters are all alot older than him.
My dad's dad died before i was even a year old, but i've been told he was a wonderful man. My dad's mother is very old and senile in a home, she's a right handful!!

My mum remarried when i was 3, and they have 2 children who are now 14 and 11. My stepdad has recently announced he wants a divorce from my mum, and he's been having an affair. My mum's devastated, and my sdad won't move out and is behaving like a total pig. I'm very angry with him and am still not sure i will ever speak to him again, he has always treated me differently to his children, although he's very controlling and agressive to us all. But hopefully the house will sell and they can all move away from him soon.

My mum's side of the family are a bit of a mess too, she has a brother and an adopted sister (who is simply part of the family, i am closer to her than my uncle, she has never been anything less). My gran and grandad still can't stand my dad for what he did all those years ago, and i recently didn't talk to them for 2 years because of an argument over them constantly bad-mouthing my dad and his family in front of me.

I am close to my stepdad's family too, he has a wonderful sister, who, thankfully, is very different from him, and his dad and stepmum are like grandparents to us.

My family is very big and diverse (my stepdad's family are rich and like the good life, my dad's family are working class but i love them to bits for their sense of humour and outlook on life) and they all teach me alot, whether good or bad. It can be very difficult sometimes, but at the end of the day I just love the people who love me back, and that's all i need.

Norman · #28 (**permalink**) 09-Aug-2008, 17:39

Well, we're kind of a family of steps!

My grandparents divorced - grandmother re-married twice. Grandfather once - Gu - more grandmother than my grandmother - last saw her 13 years ago at my fathers 4th wedding - I have one step sister from his 2nd marriage, 2 stepsisters and 1 half sister from his third and a half brother from his 4th!!! Haven't seen him since my sisters wedding 7 years ago - but did get a birthday card from him today!!

Had a step father (and another step sister and two step brothers) for a while - but he left 2 days before christmas when I was 12 (also my dads birthday!)

My partners parents split when he was fifteen - it later transpired that she'd been with the bloke for 10 years! They've been married now for 13years - he's Brian to some of the grandchildren and for some he's grandad brian.

Grandparent wise a grandparent is no different to step grandparent as I see it - just a bonus!

It can be a bit of a minefield out there but I just think so long as both parents sing from the same songsheet as it were and the kids get ample chance to have their biological parent to themselves then a step parent is a bonus too!!! Think it also depends on the overall circumstances - is the other biological parent around too? Do they have a partner too??? All of these things impact on it!

mrsrobbiewilliams · #29 (**permalink**) 09-Aug-2008, 18:58

Well i am 30 and have two step children who are 21 and 17 !!

I myself have three children , two eldest from a prev relationship and baby ( she is 2 !!) from husband .

My parents have stayed married ( even though my dad has had many affairs !!) and will be celebrating their 35th wedding anni in october ( is that coral or something ???anyone???)

My eldest children do not see their father and have only seen him once in the past 5 years-it is all very messy and involves court orders and all sorts !!

Because me and hubby are having a rough time atmo i am finding it difficult with the older two and hubby .He wants to discipline them but i do not feel comfortable with this??? Maybe i got used to doing things my way ??I also feel he has a favourite and am probably a little sensitive to him showing to much affection to one and cold shouldering the other.

My husbands daughter did live with us for a while ( she was 14 at the time-and has no contact with her real mum) she has now moved on and lives in her own place.

It just shows how diverse our family situations can be reading this thread !!!

Very interseting.

XX

Billynomates · #30 (**permalink**) 09-Aug-2008, 20:19

Carla have pm'd you!

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Step Parents, unorthodox families, how do you do yours?

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