Are many of you step parents? do you have step parents? have you got an unorthodox family set up? how do you do your family? does it work? ...

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J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

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I have a stepfather, Steve, at first it was wierd as my bro and I were 11 and 12 and had been used to our mum being the only one to discipline us and then suddenly there was this guy telling us off and (seemed to us) taking over. Didn't help that the day we met him was the day he moved in (it wasn't planned like that - just happened that way).

It worked out OK though, now I think of him as more like my dad than my father whom I don't see very often.

Steve gave me away when I got married and my kids call him gramps and without him and my mum having the boys for me I would never be able to go to uni or have gone back to college and as my mum's disabled, she couldn't have them if Steve didn't do most of the running around after them.

It did confuse my eldest for a bit, as to why he has so many grandparent's, now he refers to my Dad (when talking to me) as "your father"

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Mum to two beautiful boys.
Student Midwife 2008!!
Student Midwife University Student Representative

Hiya,

Think we have quite a complicated family!

I have 2 stepfathers (my mum got re married 2 times) and a step mother. Love my step fathers, but step mother is a witch! We fell out when i was 14 and she's still not talking to me....sad cow! (i was meant to be the kid, not her!)

I also have three step son's, we only see two of them(long story!), one of them it's every week, and the other it's mostly just schoolhols cause he lives up in Sctoland. It works fine for us, i met hubbie when he Jordan (step-son) was three. Think of him like my little brother! It works really well for us, i treat him exactly like one of my own, which is good and bad for him at times! Think i've got off quite lucky though, he's a really great kid, and he's brill with my two!

Luke (the one up in scotland) is a bit harder. He's a bit troubled, and can be hard work! I have to get all bossy sometimes!
If anything's been hard about it, it's defo the ex's! One of them has been the bain of our lives until about 6 months ago.

Overall though it means i have a hugh family, with loads of kids, and i've not had as much childbirth to go through!

I'm a step Mum! My husband had his son when he was only 19 and as my husband is 6yrs older than me I have a 19yr old step son!! I've known him since he was 8 and I have to say the early days were very difficult, we have a fairly good relationship now - he's at uni so we only see him every few weeks but I've never really felt like the Mother figure - although this year he did surprise me with a present for Mother's Day which is the first time he's really acknowledged me as his Step Mum!!! He adores my 2 boys though which is great
x

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Karen
Starting access course Sept 08 (hopefully!!)

I am not a step-parent, but my OH is to my son. (though that feels odd to think and type that as he has called him Dad since he was three, he made the choice to) he IS the parent though, and he does know about the biological one and though at tmies curious, he asks rarely.

There are alot of families with a different set-up now to the traditional 'nuclear family' aren't there?

Our set up works well, we have had our ups and downs, but the children have always been happy. I am also over wishing I was part of a normal family-unit (for some years now!) I used to be quite upset about it, right now and froa while I have had no concerns at all. The only thing i would change is that we all had the same surnames, but I 'd have to get married really (OHalso has my name) and that is a way off

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Not really step family, but in my family there is my mum and dad, elder sister elder brother and younger sister. Us three elder are birth children my younger is adopted. But I dont think of her as being anything other than my sister! I grew up with so many people around me. My mum loves children and so she was always having extras over, whether it be our friends, taking them on holiday camping with us, or respite foster care for children with a range of disabilities, to children from belarus who would come over during the summer and we would host them (which apparantly each day they spend over here adds another year to their life as the air is so fresh and the food is not intoxicated over here.
We always had a huge family but I think alot of the time no matter who is in your family you get used to it as its your family.
X

Mine childhood family wasn't a step family but I was adopted.

So in my adoptive family I have 2 older brothers. On my birth mums side I have 2 sisers and 1 brother and on my birth fathers side I have 3 sisters and one brother!

So all in all i'm one of 10!!

Jenn- its so nice to read what you said about your younger sibling. As an adopted child you are never quite sure how the rest of the family feel about you.

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Hiya I have a step father and a half sister. My mum remarried when I was 14 and my sister was born when I was 15, I was the teenager from hell but my stepfather has never tried to be 'my father' he always let my mother deal with the disipline. We now have a fab relationship, he gave me away (and paid for) my wedding, was there when my babies were born and is the one I call if the boiler packs in ! lol! My half sister is always with me and we are all really close. It has had it's moments but then even if my parents had never divorced it certainly wouldn't have been a bed of roses. I think I'm really lucky!
Jo

I had four sets of grandparents! Sadly I'm now down to one full set and three halves, inevitable as we all get older.

My mums parents divorced then they both remarrried, so there was Grandma & Grandad and Nanny & Grandad.

We also called my dads parents Grandma & Grandad.

My dad died and my mum remarried, so I have a stepdad who then adopted me and my siblings. So I gained a Nanna & Grandpa!

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CCCU Sep 2008 - yes 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks everyone for replying, I think its really good to get an insight into 'the family' today. I asked because I have a relatively unconventional/uncommon family set up.

I have 2 step sisters and one step brother, I was brought up by mum but saw my dad every week and we did fun stuff. My mum has been with my step dad for about 15 years now as has my dad with my step mum. Ive never thought of my brother and sister as half/step/whatever they are just my brother and sisters. I am now step mum to our two boys, they live with us and we bring them up but they see their birth mum regularly. Its not without its stresses and strains as big lil man has some problems with school (bright but doesnt like being told what to do) but he is fine at home with us, although he gives his birth mum/other family members a run for their money sometimes. Lil lil man is just cool we get along great, he is an angel for us and at school but again he can be an oik for others. My mum is a massive part of their life and sees them v regularly they call her Nanny and she thinks of them as her grandkids shes never made a distinction between our kids and my sisters kids. I know its unusual for a woman to meet a man who is raising two kids on his own and wondered if anyone has experienced this? When we are out everyone just thinks we are a normal a family and we are except they arent biologically ours together. They call me J ™ although lil man wants to try out other names and has asked if he can call me step mum or mum, I always say I dont mind what they call me and its up to them. I was semi-pressured to call my step dad, dad but it felt odd but then I was 15 so Id never pressure them to call be anything other than what they want too. Lil lil man told me in Kew gardens the other week that he wished I was his mum. Its a tough heart wrencher to reply to so I said, well I am you have two like I have two they are just a bit different.

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J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x