How much support do I need??

Hi I am starting the Access course in Janaury and its something my mum is really not wanting me to do. She doubts me a lot because of the way i am with blood (i know you have to be good with blood) but the thing is i think when you are a midwife that fear dissapears.

Ok basically i am squeamish with blood and i know everyone will be thinking well why the hell are you going to be a midwife? If im going to be open in which i feel i can its because i relate blood to something bad i see when i was 14 and when i see blood it reminds of that. So if im a midwife surely i will associate the blood with birth and not death in my case. Has anyone got any thoughts on this????

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x time will only tell x

Annika, you may get over your fears, tbh it is difficult to know as I don't know you.

Many people have a needle phobia and are fine about sticking needles into other people, the same goes for vomit, we all seem to manage to cope, even if it is completely horrible at times, we focus on the woman so much we tend to forget our own fears and dislikes!

I would hope you would be ok, but it is difficult to know for sure, there can be an awful lot of blood and it can go everywhere.

I don't know what to say really, it is a pity your Mum thinks you won't be able to overcome it, as you clearly seem to. And you are right in thinking that you'll begin to associate blood with birth instead of death, I guess it is just how long that will take and how you feel during the early weeks on delivery suite.

Can I be honest and suggest you seek counselling for this awful experience? You can go to your GP and be referred quite quickly for six free sessions, so it may be worth a try? (please don't be offended) it has obviously affected you deeply and maybe working through that will help when you begin your training?

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Hi,

I think a lot of people are squeamish about different things but when you are there in the moment i think because you have so many other things on your mind that you need to be consentrating on you forget about being squeamish and just get on with it.

Afterwards you may think to yourself, "oh my god how did i get through that without throwing up/fainting" or whatever but youl know that you did!

Im sure you will be fine

Good luck
XXXXX

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Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

Hi there Annika
My mum says the exact same thing to me! I have always been very squeamish, the kind of little girl that screamed over a little papercut! I am a bit better than that now!!
I have been a bit nervous how this would affect me if I was lucky enough to get on to the course, but think that I will be more concerned with the woman and in learning what was happening. I would have to get a grip on myself as if I over reacted about the blood I would hate to scare the woman by it! I think it would just become a part of the job.
However, if your problems with blood stem from something serious, maybe you should talk it through with someone. I am sure that you will be fine though, as the desire to overcome this is more than half the battle!
Good luck!
x x x

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Decided to postpone my application to 2010 for Beds and ARU x x x

Thank you, your thoughts and views on this has really helped me. I have always thought of getting counselling as it was a horrible experiance and kind of just got on with things and didnt think of solving the deeper issue. I have a doctors within my work so I may book a appoinment with them as I know they do refer you to counselling and they do these sessions.

I guessed I never looked at it before in the way that all people have there phoebias ie vomit and needles and you just have to see how you can cope. I am exaclty the same Apple Tree if i cut my leg with a razor I nearly faint hehehe slight exaggeration but i dont like it. I feel that i am a strong enough person to overcome this and especially with the right help. Its a shame that my mum doesnt want to support me and is saying i cant do this, its lucky i have my partner that has all the faith in the world in me its just sometimes i think the same goes for everyone they want their parents blessing. Some things you have just got to do for you xxxx

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x time will only tell x

Hi again
Your mum may come round too you know when she sees your determination! Mine is slowly coming around, but has gotten me really down about it sometimes! Although I am 28 years old, married, with two kids of my own now her opinion still really matters to me!
Maybe she does not understand much about it, my mum is totally clueless about the course etc, she thought I wanted to apply for this September!!
x x x

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Decided to postpone my application to 2010 for Beds and ARU x x x

I do hope so but if she doesnt i guess its just one of them things . She said its something she used to want to do but knew she couldnt because of the sick the after birth etc, however, that is her not me and she should support me. I guess as i live under her roof she wants to know whats going on and still wants a say in things I do but im 21 in november so no more babying lol.

oh dear mothers lol

Thanks for your support x

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x time will only tell x

She will come round, you go for it!
x x x

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Decided to postpone my application to 2010 for Beds and ARU x x x

Good for you, I am sure your Mum will come round in time, love. She just wants the best for you and doesn't want to see you disappointed is all

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thank you for all your advice its very much appreciated x

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x time will only tell x