Well hello all - I've been delaying writing this cos I don't want to sound too negative! I get the feeling that this is a safe place I can offload and not have to say what other people seem to think I should say. It's a bit long........

I am Jo, married with 3 girls aged 14, 11 and 6. I have accepted a place at the University of Bedfordshire starting September 15th.

I was excited but am finding it hard to look forward to any of it because I just don't know if I can be an NHS midwife. I'm an antenatal teacher so am pretty clued up about birth and early parenting already and am also on the MSLC at my local hospital. I get to hear alot of feedback about the constraints of the NHS, staffing issues, job dissatisfaction, bitchiness and low morale, and midwives not being able to work in the ways they have trained for, being so restricted by hospital protocols.

I know from the women I have taught that a good midwife can make such a difference. Someone that you feel you can trust, that treats you as a person going through a natural process rather than a patient who is sick and needs "managing". I want to be that kind of midwife, someone who is non invasive, supportive, gentle and encouraging and who believes in the process of birth. I know things aren't always straightforward but I also believe that birth can be better with the right support and information, even if it's completely different to your birth plan.

My mum thinks I should carry on teaching - I certainly get excellent feedback from my courses from clients who felt so much more prepared and in control - even when they had emergency c/sections. But I feel I want to do more, and be more. I believe I could make a great midwife, but just don't know if I am strong enough, young enough and thick skinned enough to survive working as an NHS midwife in the way the NHS is at the moment.

I also think about how much I have to do every day and wondering how on earth it will all fit in come September. The girls are all at school but the house doesn't run by itself, the dog doesn't walk himself, the guinea pigs don't let themselves in the garden and the dinner doesn't cook itself. I will also still be working part time ........

Ho hum. If you've got this far - well done! and thanks for reading. I think I need a kick up the backside and need to stop being a pessimist but don't quite know how to go about it.

I am really pleased I got a place - perhaps it was a little too easy and I haven't had to fight for it enough!

Hi Jo

A big warm welcome to the site. First of all, congratulations on getting a place.

All of the things that you have said are true and I think it is important to be aware of these issues. Your points are valid and I still want to do this. There is a way to practice the way you describe and I'm sure many of us on here aspire to be that midwife who is supportive and empowers women to give birth the way they want to. There are midwives ( Dory) who are inspirational and if we didn't follow our dreams because of the system and bitchyness then we are only letting ourselves down. Maybe we can change the way the NHS deals with childbirth and to be able to do this we have to go on this long journey of training.

I also think about how much I have to do every day and wondering how on earth it will all fit in come September. The girls are all at school but the house doesn't run by itself, the dog doesn't walk himself, the guinea pigs don't let themselves in the garden and the dinner doesn't cook itself. I will also still be working part time ........

Maybe your partner could help a little more with these things!! We are all having the same crisis you are and we are just going to have to muddle though. You don't need a kick up the backside, just a reassurance that other people feel this way too and that we can hopefully support each other through. I do hope you start in september and that we geet to know you better!!

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Coffeebean xx


Student Midwife

Hello Birthventure

I think you sound like a lovely friendly, thoughtful, and obviously dedicated person to have got this far. I'm sure it won't be easy but nothing in life worth having ever is. You may not be suited to NHS - only you will know when you get there but there are always other options available such as being independent or working overseas. I have been worried about all the issues just as you, but I'm sure that there must be quite a few of us - especially those who are on this forum - who feel the NHS should change to how it could be, and not how it is. I think the NHS needs people who question the status quo to improve it - change from the inside and all that!! Maybe I'm being naive - I haven't even applied yet but all these thoughts go round and round and sometimes you just have to get them out!! Have you read Babycatcher? I think you would find it interesting.
Best of luck

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Frizzy bizzy and dizzy!

hi there and welcome to the site, and glad you feel able to offload!! COngrats on getting your place....you should definately stick with it and follow the plan so to speak. I understand exactly what you are saying and i think your concerns are valid, however, as coffeebean said, and i'm sure others will say to you, there are ways to be the midwife you want to be!!

Even if you are in a high risk unit you can still experience a lovely normal delivery, or make a high risk delviery the best experience possible for your woman. It's about your mindset and determination, you can follow the poor practice of those around you, or you can truly advocate for your women in the right situation and empower her to get what she wants.

Have you thought about community midwifery as well? It sounds as though you would be well suited to this. You have more freedom to manage your time to a certain extent, so if you want to sit chatting to mrs. x for 2 hours as you feel she needs some extra support then you can. Obviously it impacts on your time and other visits, but the flexibility is certainly there. Also, there will be lots of opportunity for lovely low risk homebirths!!

go for it, i think you will be great
x

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Site Administrator, Student Mentor Scheme Manager

STMW 2nd year - no, really!

Hiya - I could have also written what you said - I still ask myself the same questions more regularly than I like to admit! In fact - my intro on here wasn't exactly the most positive I've read!!

Anyway, my main hope is that I stay the same me with the same thoughts and beliefs about what I feel midwifery should be - then, if I do make it through in one piece - then I'm there - in amongst the yucky bits - hopefully being an advocate for women in situations where - without midwives like us - their birth experience could read like a different story!

Plus, positivity breeds just as well as negativity - sometimes just seeing someone smiling at you can make you smile too - I like to think, once we're practising properly - we'll make maternity wards/communities/anywhere us midwives might like to end up working! a happier place!

Welcome to the siteand congrats for getting a place.

The first thing that jumps out from your e mail, is that you are the sort of midwife the NHS needs. It might be hard sometime during the training due to your positive out look on labour but i do think you should go for it.

I think if you dont go for it you will regret it.

Good luck tho.

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Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

Thank you SO much girls. It's easy to feel you're on your own isn't it? Everyone I seem to speak to either left midwifery or hates it and wishes they'd never done it. I really needed your replies and to know that others feel like this too.

I just hope I find a soulmate in my cohort as I feel old (36) and have been out of the "office" workplace for 13 years, having worked from home. So though I am more than happy to stand in front of a room full of people and teach about what I'm passionate about (i.e birth!) working on a day to day basis with people who are more experienced and know it and are keen to tell me where I muck up fills me with horror.

I've got to do it now - for me. I told myself if I got an interview I'd go, and if I got offered a place then I would have to really soul search. I accepted it so need to start looking forward.

Thanks again. What a great bunch of women we are!!

Hiya Jo

From what I saw of you at the interview I think you'll be great, I too have the same concerns as you but I think it's just a matter of jumping in with both feet. I'm also 36 with 2 girls so maybe we can both be stressed together

Max xxx

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Student Midwife 2008

Sounds like a great idea Max! Good to hear from you.

Hi birthventure, welcome and congratulations on your place!

I have nothing further to add, I can only echo what's been said above, that I share your concerns but simply hope to muddle through somehow. You sound like you have a lot to offer and that you will be a great asset to midwifery.

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Mum to two beautiful boys.
Officially a Student Midwife!!
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SMNet University Student Representative