[Shopaholic]

I need some help and opinions please haha!

My friend had a baby on Wednesday morning and I havn't been in to see them yet. My boyfriend is best mates with the daddy so we all know eachother!

He said before I was being obsessive because I really wanted to go into hospital to see them as she has been in since Tuesday and isn't getting out until Saturday!

I havn't had any children myself so don't know what it's like but I thought she would want her friends around her whilst she is in hospital? She has a c section, but I wondered whether in anyones experience they would rather have been left alone til they got home?

Thought I would ask even though it is a sily question haha

[Cb]

I would ring her partner and ask him if it is ok to visit. I personally enjoyed having visitors.

[Normal]

Everyones different really I guess. If her partners been able to get much time off and is there all day - then they're probably happy just them - but then some folk wonder why no-one comes! Reckon you can't win really! I felt quite sad about how few folk visited us - but then I had been transferred away from home (not that far though) and didn't have any cute babies for them to come and cuddle - just a couple of plastic boxes for them to come and stare at one at a time so a bit dull for them really - really could have just used a friend for me though! Hey ho - folk just don't know what to do for the best though!

I say just tell her you wanted to come but OH said to leave her be. That way she'll feel like you did want to see them - but also can just be happy that they did get lots of time to themselves - if that makes sense?? Appologies if not - just woken up!

[upsy daisy]

Hi - Everyone is different and it depends how she's feeling - I would speak to her OH and ask if she wants visitors - bearing in mind many hospitals will restrict the number of visitors (our policy is partner plus 2 visitors at a time) so if she's got lots of other visitors going then you might find it hard to get to see her.
When I had my eldest who was Prem I stayed in for 3 wks after having him so had lots of visitors. Most of the time I was really glad of visitors, especially my friends coming to give me hugs when I really needed them However, I had a couple of really down days, I remember 1 day in particular, Lewis' SBR levels went through the roof which meant he had to go back into an incubator for phototherapy - sounds like such a silly thing now but it was such a big deal for me at the time, I remember telling my husband that I couldn't face seeing anyone and he had to cancel all the visitors we had planning to visit
xxx

[Shopaholic]

Thanks for the replies so far!

I just didn't want to intrude haha! Her partner is all for me coming I think, hard to tell lol! There is a policy there of 4 people at a time so I guess I wil have to book in if I go and see her haha

x x x

[Normal]

Go and see her tomorrow - then maybe leave them be for a few days when they come home. Confused myself earlier - thought she was home now... Hospital is in no way a private space - when they get home it's generally nice for them to have a few days - just them - to really all get used to it and enjoy the bubble that often comes with the first baby etc.

Maybe call the partner - tell him when your coming in and ask him to please let you know if, as the day pans out it's not a good time or whatever - but i'm sure they'd love to see you...

Go get your baby cuddle while he/she is still all squishy!

[Mrs Johnny Depp]

I'd have done what you did, call her OH

but what was it that made your OH say you were obsessive? Just by wanting to go and see her as soon as you could?? I wouldnt call that obsessive I'd call it human noseyness to get all gory details and a newbaby huggle lol

[Noo]

Personally I didn't want visitors invading my personal time with my new family. Each to their own, I suppose

[RainbowGoddess]

Calling the OH is definitely a good idea, I loved that my best friend came to see me and my 1st in hospital, but as Noo, said each to their own.

[Bunny]

At least you're aware that they might want time to themselves - some people just don't have a clue, and don't think to ask or check. I'm sure your thoughtfulness is appreciated! xxx