Lesbian Midwives/Student Midwives

J™ · #1 (**permalink**) 20-Dec-2007, 22:01

Was having a chat with a student at RCM conference who said she was feeling really lonely at work because she didnt feel she could 'come out' as students/midwives have been bullied and ridiculed for being gay, by their colleagues.

Ive been brought up in a very 'Tales of the City'/gay environment having close family members who are lesbian/gay and have always just accepted sexuality for what it is, its part of who they are and thats just how it is. Its like eye colour to me.

Is anyone else feeling like this? knows anyone whose experienced this ridicule? it makes me so sad to think that people cant come into work and share in 'what did you do on your day off?' type chats for fear of slipping up and calling their 'partner' 'she' or 'her'.

Does it matter?

midwifemissy · #2 (**permalink**) 20-Dec-2007, 22:13

I don't think it does matter to be honest, we are after all supposed to live in a democracy, and people have rights whether they are gay, straight, lesbion, or whatever.

It is only narrow minded people who feel threatened by something they don't/won't understand that have the problems in my opinion.

That said, I did have a problem when my ex husband came to see the kids one day and sat there bold as brass and said 'just thought I would tell you, I am gay, can I bring my partner with me?' I was mortifield, but what can you say when children are involved?

I judge people on the way they treat me and others, rather than their gender, sexuality or any other defining factor. Live and let live is my motto.

J™ · #3 (**permalink**) 20-Dec-2007, 22:23

I agree MissyP. Live and let live.

What a boring world we'd be if we were all white, straight, middle class. Id be bored senseless.

Ive heard midwives say before that they cared for a lesbian couple and added 'but they were nice people'. Like being gay makes you 'not' nice.....

midwifemissy · #4 (**permalink**) 20-Dec-2007, 22:32

I know strange isn't it, the perceptions some people have of others that are 'different' in some way to themselves?

But I suppose it extends to other areas of life to and not just to this, like talking to the person pushing the wheelchair about the person sitting in it, as if they can't speak for themsleves.

My parents were both registered disabled, my Mum registered blind too, and I often noticed that people spoke to them and treated them differently than they did to 'normal' people.

It is a strange misguided world we live in, and it is very sad really, people are still people whatever their differences might be.

J™ · #5 (**permalink**) 20-Dec-2007, 22:45

I once had an eye injury and had to wear a patch for 2 weeks, pirate jokes aside I didnt have any problems until one day in a shop a cashier put her hand out to give me my change and I couldnt work out where her hand was, my perception was all odd, and after the 2nd attempt of me obtaining my change by moving my hand to where I thought hers was she said to my friend 'I havent got all day'.

So now I was deaf aswell as blind and invisible. My mums deaf and youd never know shes a master at lip reading and her speech is perfect. When I tell most people they think Im winding them up. But some people as soon as they know start talking to her like she is 6 years old, all sloooowww and deliberate and over emphasising words whereas 5 mins before they werent. Why do people do that stuff?! Mum plays along and will say 'can you speed up love my batteries not duracel you know'. Quality!

Noo · #6 (**permalink**) 21-Dec-2007, 08:07

For goodness sake... How ridiculous. I'm sorry... but while I was in labour I wasn't particularly interested in anything my midwife had to say, let alone which gender she found sexually attractive! I was so focused with what was going on and how I was supposed to behave/act/manage to do this and survive! HAHA! I saw her as her role, my midwife who was there to take care of me and guide me through the process of birthing my child. She helped me through a LOT I really appreciated that. However, all I knew about her was her name and that she had blonde hair!!!!! What difference does sexual orientation, gender OR the colour of your hair have to the care a midwife is able to deliver providing he/she has had good training and is a knowledgeable, competent midwife?

J™ · #7 (**permalink**) 21-Dec-2007, 10:56

Here. Here, LittleNoo

midwifemissy · #8 (**permalink**) 21-Dec-2007, 12:51

Originally Posted by Josie

I once had an eye injury and had to wear a patch for 2 weeks, pirate jokes aside I didnt have any problems until one day in a shop a cashier put her hand out to give me my change and I couldnt work out where her hand was, my perception was all odd, and after the 2nd attempt of me obtaining my change by moving my hand to where I thought hers was she said to my friend 'I havent got all day'.

So now I was deaf aswell as blind and invisible. My mums deaf and youd never know shes a master at lip reading and her speech is perfect. When I tell most people they think Im winding them up. But some people as soon as they know start talking to her like she is 6 years old, all sloooowww and deliberate and over emphasising words whereas 5 mins before they werent. Why do people do that stuff?! Mum plays along and will say 'can you speed up love my batteries not duracel you know'. Quality!

Both my parents went deaf as they matured, my Dad especially so, and as you say J ™, people treated him like he was about 5 years old, so demeaning for the person, and so annoying for their family.

I love what your Mum says, that is one top put down rofl good for her.

Pauline

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Lesbian Midwives/Student Midwives

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