Breast is Best or is it????

Ooops Norman already told you whilst I was writing a novel pmsl

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"there was a wonderful mw on and she thought it was not only important to prepare that me that it was likely Honey would be SCBU (she showed me round), but also took half hour of her time to sit and explain to me how important it is to bf a Prem baby"

Funny isn't it - I too was tolk breastmilk was like medicine to my poorly baby and that as I loved them I was of course going to the one thing only I could etc etc - those words have too stayed with me - but not in such a positive way! It just goes to show how much it's down to personal perception etc how we take well meaning words doesn't it!

Yes but also think it is how it is spoken to you? I was very frightened at the time had been left on my own for 24 hours with my Waters broken with no one telling me what was going to happen and she came to my rescue (iykwim), she just asked me if I would do it and why she thought it was a good idea BUT there was never any hint of me being a bad mum if I didnt want to/couldnt.

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I tried to breast feed Jai but he wouldn't latch on, the midwives bless them tried to help but they was so short staffed they had to keep going off to sort someone else out, I sat on my bed and cried my eyes out, I felt like I had failed Jai, this one midwife came up to me and gave me a huge cuddle (I had given up trying to feed him by then and had given him formula) and told me that as long as both me and Jai was happy that was all that mattered and that I hadn't failed him.
Donna
XxXxX

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Doing my access course september 2008

Tasha I can't believe how horrid your mw was over you breastfeeding Kaysie. She said some awful things, you did really well for persisting in the face of such opposition for as long as you did, you should be really proud of yourself.

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Throughout the ages, the rainbow has been the symbol of hope, a promise of better things to come. The ancients greeks personified the rainbow as the goddess Iris.
Student Midwife!!
Moderator
SMNet University Student Representative


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I have breastfed all four of my babies and I have to say it wasn't a picinc in the park. My first was a nightmare. I went home with such painful nipples I had to get my partner to sterilise the back-up bottles we had bought and express my milk on the first night home; my nipples were so tender. We hadn't got a unit so we had to boil everything!!! I think being a natural redhead we are prone to more problems. My second baby was born 14wks Prem but I expressed my milk from day one and had a freezer full at the NICU. When we came home though he didn't put on any weight for 4 weeks and so I started to use formula. My third baby was a good feeder and I managed to get through the tender nipple stage and establish a good feeding routine. My fourth was a big baby at 9pds 2ozs and fed constantly until 9mths. I have to say event though it was difficult I am glad I stuck it out. But, I do believe a happy mum makes a happy baby and if feeding is causing stress and anxiety and after attempting the usual remedies and nothing works I think mothers should not be made to feel like they have failed. At the end of the day we want a healthy baby and healthy mum and however that is achieved doesn't really matter. But I just have to say I loved the feeling of the let down reflex. Anyone else out there felt the same??? Use to make me laugh when in the bath and it was like two fire hydrants going off. Happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HaHa ;0)

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Goddessmomma xxx
Have interviews on the 4th (Teesside) and 16th (Northumbria) of December!!!

Hi everyone.
My story is similar to others, I had a terrible experience of bf when I had my daughter and don't think I could ever go through that again.
My little girl was born 6weeks Prem, so obviously her 'sucking reflex' wasn't developed enough and she had to be tube fed for the first few days after birth, at this time I was expressing milk for her and everything was ok, she seemed to be getting stronger by the day, in spite of all her other problems.
By day 4 it was decided that she should be tried on the breast. That's when things started going wrong.
Because I have 'flat' nipples (tmi but does have relevance!) it was very difficult to get her to latch on, and when she finally did, she was too tired after all the fussing to feed. This went on for another 3 days and I kept going back to the machine in the hope that 'tomorrow' she could do it herself.
I found that by day 7 the midwives were trying to persuade me to try a bottle, because nothing seemed to be working in terms of technique- but I didn't want to give up- there had to be a way, so I kept on and on.
It was awful, sitting there in the middle of the night, not with my baby- but with a machine.
When the time came that she was strong enough to go home (after 2 weeks), I was told that I could go and stay in the mother and baby suite for the weekend, and that if she would feed from me great, I could take her home on the monday- if not she would have to stay there longer. I felt under so much pressure and had nowhere to turn, I didnt want to be a failure.
Throughout all of this my baby was still being fed through a tube- something which really grated me. My opinion was that it was unnecessary, making her lazy and that if she was hungry- she would feed. That was not the views of the midwives however and they were adamant that it wasn't a problem, the problem was me.
By now it was day 10 and I had had enough- every time I went on the machine there was less and less milk coming out, and I remember one midwife telling me not to bother anymore because there wasn't enough and that it was just a waste of time. I should now concentrate my efforts on establishing bottle feeding -so I did- it took about 10seconds for her to start sucking from it and I felt that all my efforts had been for nothing- I was a failure. I must admit I had good support but there didnt seem to be many options made viable in terms of techniques, and still even now I think there must have been a way around it.

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Its Good To Talk!!

Bless you Lucky Sar
You were by no means a failure. You did as much as you could and nobody could ask any more of you. I remember with my daughter going on the humilactor (prob spelt that wrong) in the middle of the ward. I felt like a cow going for milking, it was so embarassing. When it was all over the milk could not be used because of the blood in it!!! Don't think this would happen now adays but it does give you an understanding and allows you to feel for those who are in a similar position. xxx

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Goddessmomma xxx
Have interviews on the 4th (Teesside) and 16th (Northumbria) of December!!!

Wow - so many of these stories have made me so sad! Bless you all!

I'm not a Mum, and I think that's somewhat to my detriment when I try to support a breastfeeding Mum. I know all the principles, yes, but I can't relate to the specifics, and the contradictions that you hear all the time completely confound me... If you're doing it properly breastfeeding shouldn't hurt... You shouldn't be able to see the baby's cheeks move... everyone produces enough milk....

Can't think of more at the moment, but I'm sure you all can!

I think what I find most demoralising in all of this is the knowledge that as a service overall (and you guys are all exceptions to the rule!) we talk the talk but don't walk the walk. I've rarely seen the 'breastfeeding' pages in the antenatal notes filled in. Women who want to 'try' breastfeeding aren't encouraged and supported enough on the postnatal ward when they are having difficulties. In particular, we aren't proactive in our support. More often than not women are giving up because they 'don't want to be a nuisance'. Women are being discharged early having been told their technique is excellent and they are obviously naturals - only to flounder and fail without 24-hour on-call support at home.


I know as a student I'm plugging the gap in what is really a substandard service. We are after all supernumerary, but how often have other students been relied upon to provide 1-1 breastfeeding support because there is no-one else available to do it?

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I agree bunny, we very often are...

Sadly though it is, I have heard it said by mothers at the very start of a shift first thing in the morning that that they have been shouted at or snapped at by a stressed, overworked midwife (is that an excuse? no, I don't think so) 'have you not fed that baby yet?' well, it's not good enough!

Yes, i do feel my experiences have and do help me to support women's breastfeeding, but we all learn quickly what is a good latch and what is not, what positions are best/easier/more comfortable/work for mum and baby. and that sometimes no matter what you try it won't work!

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