Ok we all know the babies get the nutrients and they also get all the antibodies need but what does a 21st centurmy mum get???

Lets see if you can do it and you can use the machine you get a overwhelming feeling of satisfaction you are soley providing your childs nutrients and maximising their defences you go to bed feeling great and if your tired you just express it and your other half takes over.

Now lets go to the other side after 9 months endless visits to the Midwife who are promoting breastfeeding there you are in ya hospital bed or at home and you go to put your baby on ya breast something goes wrong so you try something else, still dont work. You press ya button for a midwife she grabs ya tit and puts baby mouth to it, still dont work. By now you think you are a failure you wanna cry you wanna walk out and leave your baby cause even only after a few m,inutes/hours you feel you dont deserve this baby you'r hormones are going wild you are a failure............

Wow. Thats really moving Zoe. The first thing that hit me in the face reading that is how low you felt, your confidence wasnt boosted and you felt 'handled'. Theres some real dignity issues about how breastfeeding is approached, it links to an assignment missy is doing atm on skin to skin and how women feel exposed - your post reminds me of that.

It really does make me think that the soft skills in midwifery, in our personal practice are the ones that can make or break something like confidence with breastfeeding.

Anyone else have a view?

Thanks for posting Zoe, its great to have a 'service user' on the site sharing with us that view from that angle.

... then you press your buzzer again and ask to see a different midwife.

I am a midwife. Everyone knows about the benefits of breastfeeding for mum and baby, and it is part of our job to promote it. But it is also part of our job to provide holistic, supportive care and education. Some babies take longer to start feeding than others - our job is to support mum through that time, not to pressure or pass judgement. Some women choose not to breastfeed - we have a responsibility to support them in that choice and make sure they go home with all the info they need to safely bottlefeed their babies. Feeding is just one part of being a new parent, it should not be seen as the thing that overshadows all else - if it does, we are not doing our job properly. In my view, most important thing with regard to feeding is that the baby is fed - not what or how.

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Love Dory xxx
Just keep swimmin', just keep swimmin'....

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Bravo Dory!

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Josie
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director



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Dory, if only that was the views of all midwives "sighs" however the sad thing is as a mother i have spoken to so many other new mums and second,third time mums and the 1st thing they mention is breastfeeding and the turmoil it caused them. I remember actually tearing the breastfeeding pages from my file because i had such a bad experience first time round. I feel maybe more tolerance, empathy and choice between breast and bottle along with some education would help

Oh and as to the asking for a new midwife, you are hormonal and don't know your elbow from your foot !!! Can you imagine being in that state and having the energy or confidence to ask for a new midwife even more so as a 1st time mum!!!!

Hi (again)
I am a breastfeeding peer support counsellor and I am really passionate about helping women who want to breastfeed. I always try to put myself in their shoes i.e just given birth, sore bits, hormones etc and try to give them support through encouragement and patience to enable them to feel positive about themselves and the ability of their bodies to provide for their baby. I am constantly (with the peer group I am in) trying to promote b/feeding to women and talk to women in groups and one to one before they give birth because better informed women are given better support and access help better. In our area we also have a phone line to support women to feed where they can ring a councellor and get advice/ support. The training we have recieved has been really good and we would never touch someone or force mouth to tit.

Some proffesionals don't see us as helping and don't want us to helpwomen on the wards which is a shame because all we would be doing is supporting women to feed in a calm relaxed manner because that is all we are there for.

We are not there to judge just to give TLC and support to enable mums to be fantastic feeders.

Coffeebean

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Coffeebean xx



Prospective Students Manager


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I would get shot, but I would rather have a mum go home happy and confident and bottlefeeding, than stressed and miserable and breastfeeding. I breastfed all of my children and it is a wonderful experience, but I can acknowledge that it is not right for everyone, and support those who choose not to do it. There seems to be this impression that midwives think that bottlefeeding mums are inferior to breastfeeding mums. Bull.

Being a parent is all about making choices, and being a midwife is all about supporting women and families in the choices they make.

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Love Dory xxx
Just keep swimmin', just keep swimmin'....

Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

I agree with you Dory. You can't make people do it , you can only support their decisions. I breastfeed successfully but my support isn't about me it's about the mum and her baby and what they choose is right for them.

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Coffeebean xx



Prospective Students Manager


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Coffeebean i wish i had known you years ago!!!

Dory i do not believe the inferior conception has come from midwives but more from the whole pre natal careand government guidelines. I hope you do not get shot because i feel you are a fantastic midwife for the simple fact you acknowledge it is not for everyone!!