i agree little noo your either a good midwife or a bad one x

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Starting Access To HE Health Studies 16/09/08
Applying To Swansea Uni for 2009

Thats very true a lots of women would drop it after they get the answer 'no', ur quite right, i think a lot of the time they are making conversation, but i do think that to some women it is important to know that their midwife has experienced it - dunno why tho - it wouldn't matter to me if i was the woman. What about male midwives? im sure they get asked if they got kids, but obv. they haven't given birth.

To some women they hate the thought of their midwife telling them how to cope with pain when she hasn't experienced it herslef, which is crazy really coz its true that your either a good midwife or a bad one.

xxxx

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Student Midwife 2007

When I was pregnant with my first baby, at my booking appointment with my midwife the first thing she said to my partner and I was that she didn't have children herself before she said anything else. I thought it was a little strange for her to say this and as it was my first baby it made me feel quite nervous the first few times I met her - however as time went on, she turned out to be just lovely and fantastic throughout my pregnancy - she really wanted to hear the answers when she asked me a question, she was so interested and empathised with all aches, pains worries etc. I had total confidence in her.

So, my inital thoughts on hearing that from her she didn't have children was sheer nervousness about how she would deal with it if she was at my birth etc. as it was such a new and scarey thing to me too. As it turned out when it came down to the birth and she wasn't there I was sad :-(

Therefore, I think unless the question is asked by the mother there's no point inviting it as to a first time mother it could possibly make her slightly anxious - but I'm proof that it shouldn't if you get my drift!! If however, this was my 2nd/3rd... birth I wouldn't give two hoots as to whether the midwife had had children or not!

Just my own personal thoughts (I'm quite nervous with new things so it's just me!)

i personally think its a bit rude to ask someone if they have children, they might not be able to for one thing and it could be personal. obviously us, straight out of school are less likely and i supose people will just assume we havnt got children, which may make them feel less confident in us, but at the end of the day it depends on the persons abilities. also midwives who dont have children dont have experiences of child birth and therefore this wont influence them to generalise their experience, if you get me???xx

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xxx Katie xxxx

Birmingham City Student Midwife 2008

I've been asked a lot of times if have kids. I have never told them first, only gave an honest answer when asked, it isn't always a good thing as then I get asked what pain relief I had which makes me feel uncomfortable as don't want to influence their own decisions either way. I have been asked quite a few times if I had an epidural, which I haven't, so have to answer honestly but reiterate that what was/nt ideal for me isn't the same for the next person.

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Catches: 2 assisted.

http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/michelle-susie

Anyone else have a view?

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J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

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Being a mum to 3 lil monkeys has got me thinking!! and it didnt hurt that much!!! I have been induced twice and had a baby that got stuck and have PND for the second time.
So I sort of have a lil insight into the world of midwifery!! Is this a help or hinderance????

definately not a hindrance as long as you keep your personal experiences just that, unless you are asked to share them...ie it is the woman's experience and we shouldnt distract from it.
So yes it is a help as you will be able to empathise with the woman, however it is an age old debate which encompasses many factors, for example, if the answer is yes, does it mean that men cant be good midwives? Also, you have suffered PND which makes you more understanding of a woman with it, but have you suffered a stillbirth? If the anser is no, do you think you will be able to show care and compasion to a woman in your care who is experiencing this just as well as a midwife who has been through it?
the arguments are complex and people are usually quite divided on the issue. I personally have yet to make up my mind!
x

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Site Administrator, Student Mentor Scheme Manager

STMW 2nd year - no, really!

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I not too sure, I think a lot of other factors determine a good midwife such as maturity, sensitivity, empathy and compassionate care to name a few. When I think about men being midwives I really think they could make good midwives as men play many roles of the midwife everyday with their partners, supporting them throughout their pregnancy and birth etc. Having 3 children myself I think it helps but is not the be end and end all. Once again I can't put it into words lol!!!!

Well it is for me because it was having my girls and nothing else that made me want to be a midwife - a few years before my sister told me she was thinking of training as a midwife and I was like - what on earth would you want to do that for! I still feel really bad about that - particularly as she now has my girls for me to train!

However, I think there are many things midwifery that I have been tainted toward - because of my experience - those girls on my cohort that haven't had any babies I envy in many ways - they don't have the stress of kids on top of everything else for a start! But they see everything from a learning point of view whereas sometimes I really struggle not to get involved emotionally - which I don't think helps anyone!

I often say that I wish I'd wanted to be a midwife before I'd had children - but I didn't so thats that!