I often get asked in practice if I have any kids. Do you think women value this in their midwife? that they've 'been through it' too ..... my personal view is that you dont have to have had cancer to know how to care for someone with it..... plus every womans pregnancy and birth is different..... so do we all really go through the same thing?

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J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

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I dont think you will make a better midwife if you have children, the only thing about having your own children is that you have been in a similar situation as the woman is in. It doesnt mean you know what they are going thru because just because you have kids yourself doesnt meen you know how they are feeling, we are all different so what you felt is probably entirley different to how she is feeling.
I havent been out on placement so cant personally comment on how women are with student midwives but i cant really see it making a difference, we are all training and being educated to be midwives so whether or not we have children shouldnt make a difference.

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I think it makes more difference to the women in my experience. If they are suffering and you are comforting them, they often ask if you have had children yourself.

I don't see as it makes a difference to the midwife, there are many I know without children and they are all just as good.

Interestingly at times I think it can make it more diffficult (IMO) as I am remembering how painful it was and tensing up for them, when sometimes they' re just fine.

I agree that to be a good health professional you don't need to have experienced something yourself and even if you children, chances are you did not have a C/S ventouse, forceps, epidural, Episiotomy etc etc.

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I've noticed that its generally the midwives/students without children that worry most about this question.

Why is that?

Do you believe that its an issue?

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Ooops i've just noticved this thread after posting on the 'age' one.

Well I won't repeat myself, but i think it's more about personality traits and empathy, that's the basis to having potential to become a great MW. OK, empathy comes from experience, but not always. And not every preg/birth is the same. For example, i've never had a Csection, a breech, never had a supportive partner, not AF, nor had a homebirth, a waterbirth, had forceps, twins, still birth....the list is endless.

Mind you having a child puts you at an advantage with terminology, at least i feel that way in Year 1. I'm sure we all catch up very soon though.

There is one advantage to being childless and being a SMW....i struggle to go all day on community placement with only ONE loo stop.

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3rd year Student Midwife

No. Every person is different and giving birth a few times doesn't give you any more insight into what an individual is feeling, seeing, fearing or experiencing than an empathetic childfree midwife. In fact, I'd say that if a person assumes they know what a person is experiencing because they've given birth themselves, then it could be a positive disadvantage.
I'm not saying that midwives with children will project their experiences onto their women. Just that one who does would be just as bad as a childfree midwife who was unable to empathise.

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Gcal Student nurse 2007

I have to agree and say that I think it matters more to the mom than the midwife's capabilities. If having children makes you a better midwife, how many do you have to have? One medicalized, one home birth, one c/section, on and on. And then there are all the male ob's (and some male midwives) that will never even get the chance to experience it.

I think some women want someone who has "been there and done that" but over all, it seems like most women don't care about this that much.

IMO, there are advantages to both having children and not having children. If you haven't had children yourself then you have no preconcieved ideas regarding pregnancy and childbirth and your own personal views wont be imposed on the woman you are caring for (Not that they should anyway, but sometimes they are!!) For example; Midiwfe X had a relatively 'easy' straightforward birth and is caring for a women having a hard time - she may think back to her labour and get an 'I did it, anyone can do it... What's all the fuss about' attitude...
Women with children have the advantage of actually going through it and know how hard it can be!
As J ™ said 'You dont have to have had cancer to know how to care for someone with it' and as most people have said, it's the midwives that seem to worry most about this, not the women we care for...
Anyway, that's just my opinion, I may have been able to articulate it slightly better if firing on all cylinders but the brain just doesn't want to work atm!! Hope you all catch my drift!!

What's everyone else think??

xx

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Hey Little Noo, I have to agree, when at interview it was definitely a question I worried about. At 20, I don't have any children yet but do have two 3 year old bro's (putting me off for a while haha).

I was asked this question and I did think 'oh crap' they hate me cos I have no kids.

However, I responded with "I think there are positives for either having children or not having them. Having them gives you a possible better understanding physically of what the woman in labour is going through, maybe meaning you can relate better. However, not having children means you have no extra responsibility first of all so shifts of any hours is not a problem. Also I believe that a student midwife without children can still have the professional and caring skills to be able to look after and advise every woman in labour."

The lady interviewing me (head of couse) said "well I havn't got any children and have done just fine"

I went out smiling haha!

Emma x x x

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