The Dark Underbelly of Midwifery

Things are changing TallPoppy (honest) When i was a student i was bawled at down the corridor regularly by the Sister - in - charge and as a student nurse in the 80's i would be a gibbering wreck in the sluice on many an occasion waiting for the Nursing Officer to come for her 'rounds' or for Night Sister to come and 'test' me on the patient's names, diagnosis and treatment plan.
There is still bullying now but it is much less acceptable or expected than it has been in the past. As a student nurse and midwife I accepted that the culture of the NHS was tough and uncompromising and under no circumstances did you blow whistles. And I 'blended in' - I wanted to survive.
I have seen staff crumble and dissolve in the 8o's and 90's but today's students are much more assertive and educated in the culture of 'challenge'. This is brilliant as the bullies and autocrats are retreating.
However - in defence of us (and I have been guilty of occasional and unforgivable gossipping and bullying behaviour) - this behaviour is usually a defence mechanism brought about by incredibly stressful working environments and the lack of power or sense of worth. What do you do when under threat? You lash out at the most vulnerable member of the group.
I don't make excuses for our (the qualified and senior midwives)behaviour but I beg a little understanding. I for one am ashamed of this aspect of my personality and changing it is an uphill battle with many battles lost.

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Laugh in the face of the devil Eat Chocolate

Im glad my thoughts have been well recieved as it was well intentioned. I felt like we had discussed pretty much most things on here but I felt like I was almost keeping a secret as I didnt want to shatter anyones dreams. But I cant bare suffering, I hate bullying, I cant see why people have to behave like that.

I started this site as I had the same feeling ukcyberchick and I knew it wasnt like that - I have been mentored by some of the most inspirational midwives Ive ever met, I have been taught and tutored by exceptional midwifery lecturers and ward sisters, I feel lucky to count many incredible midwives among my close friends and someone needed to show the otherside of online midwifery.

NS I agree it is changing its not like the old days as you say - but all the time students creeping off the ward and are weeping in toilets alone, too scared to tell anyone about how they are being treated - someone needs to stand up and say enough is enough.

Like I say in my article its in our hands, all of us, the future and current midwives alike.

NS that took alot of courage to post that and I commend you, with mentors like you to help us along the way, we will get there as a united profession.

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StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
(George Eliot, 1860)

I enjoyed reading that TallPoppy, you are a brilliant writer! It hasn't put me off following my dream but I do worry as I am quite shy, quiet and a bit too nice sometimes, I just hope it isn't going to be my down fall x x x x

Wow, what an amazing writer you are TallPoppy. You haven't put me off following this career but one of the reasons I have left it until now is because I knew I would never have had the strength to cope with harsh treatment when I was younger, I didn't really know that there was such a problem with bullying but I was so shy and quiet and totally fearful of being seen as an idiot when I was younger that I could never have thought of pursueing such a challenging career. Now, through both work and personal experience, I know that I can and will stand up for myself, although sadly not without a great deal of tears and it still takes an awful lot before I will say something.

I hope that I will have the strength to stand against bullying in midwifery, both for myself and for anyone else (although I have always been better at standing up for others than myself) and I believe, that knowing I will have the support of yourself, your staff and this community that I will do.

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Throughout the ages, the rainbow has been the symbol of hope, a promise of better things to come. The ancients greeks personified the rainbow as the goddess Iris.
Student Midwife!!
Moderator
SMNet University Student Representative


Do you want to write for the newsletter?? PM me, Karrierbag or Butterfly, opportunity is knocking.........

We must protect our young, our fledglings, our future, ourselves.

To me, one of the most important aspects of midwifery is to protect- not to protect a woman from the pain of labour or the reality of motherhood- but to protect normality, a woman's right and the power that comes in creating and birthing a new human being.

When i began just shy of a year ago, i perhaps had rose-tinted glasses, and have been upset, and maybe a little broken, by some of the events that have happened to myself and my cohort, to whom i am close to many of. A comment a very wise person left on my blog was the importance of being a person first, and a student second, and more often than not it is difficult to distinguish the two. In some ways i am glad for the comments, the looks, the bitching, because they have made me a stronger student. and a stronger person, but i am saddened i have had to learn this way, and still have a long way to go.

what's most upsetting to me is the bitching that goes on about other midwives from midwives themselves, (to me, other students or whoever is present) each comment slowly digging away at an individual's confidence, and the profession itself. and then it's difficult- how do you respond? a nod, a look, walk away, agree?

I think there's a long way to go, but your fantastic article is recognition, and maybe things can carry on changing for the better, hopefully xxxxx

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"With my hands, i have felt the strength it takes to grow, and release new spirit......."
"All the best births are the ones where you only have time to record times on a paper towel..."- a midwife, somewhere in the middle

Ok, so I am slightly nervous, but enraged at the same time! I detest bullies, and should I be successful to get a place, I hope to be able to stand my ground!

If you can publish this it would be great, and really help others. Managers and the 'powers that be' really need to do something about this sort of thing, which sadly goes on in such alot of places.

Ditto ukcyberchick

So well put TallPoppy. x

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I have seen bullying and backstabbing between staff, and towards students on different placement areas, and it sickens me to see it happen, and to be on the receiving end of it.

But what disgusts me even more is when it is aimed at a vulnerable person who is supposed to be receiving dignity, care and being enabled to make informed choices as to their care and treatment. Not just agreeing to what is best for the person 'providing' that care. I have seen this happen twice recently, and it really really makes me so angry!!!

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

PAB Support Worker

Since going in to labour ward I have been involved as what I can only describe as bullying-thankfully not by my mentor. It is just nasty and I'm sure it is some kind of power trip. I have got over it but spent the next few days in tears before shifts. I wasn't thinking about packing it in but am so glad I got to the homebirth as it really proved what midwifery could and should be like. Can't wait to be back in the safe hands of the lovely community midwives!!

This is a standing ovation for TallPoppy!!!

I was told of the 'bitchy, back-stabbing industry of Midwifery' when I applied for my job, and also warned of two such bullies @ the unit!!

I did not let this put me off. Without bleating on, I was just a 'Domestic violence statistic' for 15yrs and ever since I 'escaped' I have pledged to myself never to be bullied again or to let anyone be bullied in my company.

I believe the new students on this site and many others besides, will turn around this reputation of the 'Dark side'

Well Done TallPoppy.

xx

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*Jo*