The Dark Underbelly of Midwifery

tracyb · #21 (**permalink**) 07-Jul-2008, 21:28

Well as another one (of course ) who has seen this and people have attempted to have me on the brunt end of ther "issues" I have always been open and honest and commented if they have behaved in such a manner, as some of you know I had an interview for a job last week, and one of things they wanted to know was if I could stand up to midwives/doctors and challenge/change outdated practice and to help erradicate bullying in the workforce, I of course told them, I had no issues about doing so, but would I be supported by other staff, I was told I would be fully supported, and that the right attitude would rub off on others, and eventually serve to change for the better, so heres hoping an apparant (according to some lovely midwives have worked with) gob like myself will help!!

kittykat · #22 (**permalink**) 07-Jul-2008, 22:14

After reading this, I have just gone and put on my extra thick skin. I am not there to be insulted, but there to learn, I will defiantly not be putting up with any sort of bullying or rudeness and made sure it's seen to appropriately.

As said Im sure there are a tonne of lovely midwives, doctors, etc but those who are not will not be tolerated. I may only be a student but Im a 2008 student who's going to help change things for the better!

Come on girls, we've all got to stick together!

Bunny · #23 (**permalink**) 08-Jul-2008, 12:52

TallPoppy, thank you so much for writing this - it rang true for me as soon as I read it.

I have had 'bully' mentors, two professionals have made me cry in practice (can give you some good examples if you want!), but I've also (to my shame) fallen victim to assimilation fever and agreed with gossips so as not to rock the boat.

Now I'm more careful, and I think a lot more about what I say, to who, and when. I try not to get drawn into gossip, and if I have concerns I will vocalise them to a mentor/manager as soon as possible. I guess I am self-censoring, but I like to think that this is about developing my professional communication skills and protecting myself from falling into the b*tchy culture.

Please, please consider seeking publication somewhere - this needs to be seen, and by the midwives especially. If you need any legwork for references etc, I'd be more than happy (and I'm sure you'll have more volunteers!)

(copied across from my comment in TallPoppy's blog)

upsy daisy · #24 (**permalink**) 08-Jul-2008, 13:12

Thumbs up TallPoppy - have already commented in your blog (before I realised you'd posted it here!).
XXX

TallPoppy · #25 (**permalink**) 08-Jul-2008, 16:30

A mentor has approached me to ask if she can put it up in her unit which is lovely, she's helping us spread the word! I will ask R to look into publishing etc, Im not any good at all that, I need an agent! LOL

Im really pleased it been well recieved as its very well intentioned. Nikki I know how easy it is to just get swept along and it wasnt until I was faced with the dark side that it made me think again.

I posted it on the site as I know alot of people go to new posts rather than search blogs and I was keen to get lots of views

potbella · #26 (**permalink**) 08-Jul-2008, 16:46

I completely agree that bulling is wrong and we should stand up to it, to throw a spanner in the works though I just want to let you know about someone who I know who has studied midwifery.

She also suffered at the hands of a bully mentor and is the type of person who will stand up to people and is very strong mentally, she is a very good student and gets fantastic grades. She was very worried about reporting the bully and making people aware of what she was going through as that person would be marking her progressand it would 'go against her'. As a result she kept quiet and didn't say anything as she couldn't risk her grades going down or failing completely, she said to me she would just 'put up with it' cos it wasn't going to be forever and that when she was qualified and not 'needing' that person to be on her side anymore then she may say something.

I wonder how many more students would keep quiet and not rock the boat due to them 'needing' that person to give them good grades.

TallPoppy · #27 (**permalink**) 08-Jul-2008, 17:48

I agree. It would be a very common response, it goes along with everything that goes with 'not rocking the boat' - not wanting to be an outcast, not wanting to been seen as 'trouble' not wanting to be marked down, not wanting to be gossiped about - the list is pretty much endless.

Any kind of bullying, harrassment and victimisation brings out all kinds of fearful behaviours in people - anxiety and depression can be the end product of perpetual bullying and this can ruin peoples lives. I have had discussions with midwives who have been bullied out of practice and who have had to take years out to get better before they can return to the job they loved.

In my past life I have disciplined and dismissed many people over the years who were bullying staff (not in midwifery I hasnt to add, but in the private sector predominantly) and these people are left without jobs because of their behaviour. One guy cried buckets, he didnt mean to he said, what will he tell his wife he said - he was given many chances to change his behaviour and he didnt and in the end he paid a high personal price.

Bullying devestates lives, simple.

KarrierBag · #28 (**permalink**) 24-Sep-2008, 18:52

Just re-read this, I hadn't read the whole thread; people's replies etc.. and it's shocking how many people have experienced bullying within a 'caring' profession.

Bullying is so predominent (sp?) these days and it needs to stop.

So for the new people who hadn't read this, I just thought I'd bring it back to the forefront for a while!

xx

midwifemissy · #29 (**permalink**) 24-Sep-2008, 18:55

I think that was an excellent idea Karrierbag,

New student midwives need to be aware of what goes on, and also to know that they don't have to tolerate bullying in any form....from anyone.

RainbowGoddess · #30 (**permalink**) 24-Sep-2008, 18:59

Thanks for the reminder KB!

Bullying just should not happen in a caring profession and it's a shame that it does. We need to stamp it out, not just by not tolerating it in others but by taking a good look at ourselves and how we behave and making sure that we do not become the bullies ourselves.