Why do mw students drop out of uni?

Really sorry to hear that Norman,

I hope you find a way to work things out if that is what you want, if not I hope everything works out for you. x

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

PAB Support Worker

Thanks my dear - having spent a day of placement crying today - I really don't know what I want! I've got to the point now that I don't know if I'm staying because it's something I really want or just because I don't want to fail or be a drop out!!! God I wish someone could get inside my head and work it all out for me! What on earth am I going to do!?

The first thing I would suggest, is don't make a decision in haste that you might later regret love.

Take some time to think it through properly, weigh up the for and against points for staying and leaving. That might help with your decison.

Is there no one you can talk it through with, like a tutor or link tutor at your hospital? They might be able to suggest solutions you haven't even considered.

I am sorry I can't make the decision for you, but if you feel it will help, please PM me, I am happy to do what I can to try to help in any way I can. xx

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

PAB Support Worker

Norman - please read my blog and then PM me if you want... I can relate, and offer some good advice I hope.

I think the single biggest reason that midwifery students drop out is being unprepared for what is to come. This is just from my personal experience, so forgive me if I'm extrapolating too far, but studying for midwifery affects every aspect of your life and then some you hadn't even considered. Your physical and mental health, your family and friendships, your social life, your diet, your finances, you name it, it is affected.

The thing that I've found is that its not just a course of study - it really is a way of life. The closeness you feel with your cohort is amazing, and when I considered leaving they were the first people I thought I was letting down! I really don't want to fail for such a ridiculous reason, but if it comes to it, its going to be money for me. Our household income was halved when I started the course, and that's had some pretty adverse consequences...

Can we start a spin-off website where philanthropists will support deserving specimens through midwifery training? I really need a sugar Daddy who doesn't mind the fact that I'm really not looking for a relationship and am very committed to my husband... lol

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Great blog bunny - thanks for posting me in the right direction!

When is ok to go though - without feeling like a failure or a drop out?

And would anyone stick with it if other midwives were saying you were crap?? Sorry to ask - just need some honest thoughts on the matter!

Thanks

Nobody has dropped out of my course yet but i think there may be some on their way. I dont think most people are prepared for just how time consuming and how much hard work it all is. Has certainly taken over my life!! I would imagine the sheer work load, together with the child care issue some have is a major reason why some leave.

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Student Midwife, year one and counting.

"And would anyone stick with it if other midwives were saying you were crap??"

to your face? or just gossip?

personally i would carry on in either circumstance. from my own experience, i was called 'useless' more than once in front of women last semester, and it really got to me at the time as i thought it was me, but now i know better.

In the case of gossip, it really is just part of the b*tch culture in hospital environments at the moment, and i wouldn't listen to it. If your (or whoever you mean) mentor is happy with you, others don't matter.

One of my cohort is fab with the women, confident and able to stand up for herself, and i recently overheard one of the midwives saying how she had a 'bad attitude' which is just a way of saying she doesnt just take everything like the rest of us!!! i was really upset about it, but then her mentor told her about the gossip, but not to worry, because she was brill

all i can say is don't quit because of the attitudes of others, is there someone at uni you can talk to about this? we are the future of midwifery, and if we don't stand for nasty attitudes then they won't take over the profession xxxxxxx

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"With my hands, i have felt the strength it takes to grow, and release new spirit......."
"All the best births are the ones where you only have time to record times on a paper towel..."- a midwife, somewhere in the middle

It's OK to go whenever you feel it is - it's horrible, I know, but it is your decision! If you investigate all the options, and spend time talking to your cohort, tutors, mentors, and other midwives if you can!

I think I know where you're coming from, because I'm one of those people who thrives on compliments, but struggles to accept criticism however well intentioned it is. There is of course a difference between constructive criticism and downright unhelpful rudeness.

An example for you - I was in the office in community sat at a desk having lunch and one of the midwives asked me if I wanted a brew, I replied, "no thanks, honey". You would have thought I had told her to stick her brew, because I got the biggest dressing down in front of everyone I've ever had. She told me that I was patronising, and if I spoke to women like that I should seriously consider whether I was cut out for this! Obviously, I went home in tears, but I pulled it apart and analysed what she said. I got her on a bad day, and to be frank she's a bit of a witch, but she did make me think about my practice.

In contrast, one mentor took me aside to explain that I was trying to do too much, too soon, and I needed to slow down and observe more. This was greatly appreciated and was a genuine appraisal of how I worked. Ultimately she was trying to protect me because I was trying too hard.

I know I've degenerated into waffling as usual, but what I'm trying to get at is make sure you know the difference between a narky midwife (and lets face it there are some) berating you on something fairly inconsequential, and a helpful mentor giving you a very useful steer in the right direction. And don't dwell on the negative - if they are bothering you, talk about them. You'll often find the things that you have the biggest hang-ups about are hardly noticed by others!

Please get these criticisms clarified, and talk to people. It's only by doing this you'll really know if the feelings you are having are insurmountable obstacles, or the 'first year hump' like I had. xxx

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Thanks butterfly - that post has helped a lot. This midwife has made a complaint about me - also saying I have a bad attitude - and it seems some of the other midwives have agreed (though it appears no-one that I've actually worked with). Luckily I'd spoken to my mentor about the experience I had with this midwife last week - my mentor said I should make a complaint and I foolishly said that I didn't think that was necessary as I was sure it was just where she lacked confidence etc - whether that's the bit that undermined her professionalism or whatever - I really don't know - but she got really nasty yesterday!

But is it because I come across as confident (although I'm not!) and assertive - which I think are essential midwifery skills - and it's put her back up because she really isn't confident etc - or is it because I really am awful and have a stinking attitude - and haven't even realised! If it's the first - thats fine - it's a personality clash and whilst the way they've sided with her is really unfair - I'm a big girl with broad shoulders - I have issues with her - it's reasonable to think the feeling may be mutual! But if it really is that I'm awfully stinky as a potential midwife - then as hard as it may be - I need to accept that and move on...

The uni link mentor was supervising cds yesterday - and she said she would be supporting the midwife all the way - as she is the one with professional status etc.. My uni's going to go nuts about it - their not the most supportive of institutions! And I'm just not convinced I'm strong enough to deal with it all! Nor do I really know if I want to! Just really wish I knew my own mind - it's completely frazzled! And I've just realised I'm rambling again! Seems I can only get about half a sentence out of my head at the moment before it all starts whizzing round again!

Thanks bunny - I do wonder if I'll ever get to the bottom of it! When the link mentor/supervisor pulled me just before home time (it had been going on the whole 12 hours) she said about it not just being 1 midwife who had issues - I asked her to tell me the others as I honestly couldn't think of anyone else who I'd worked with that I was aware might have issues with me (and I'm normally very sensitive to this kind of thing - often to the point of paranoia!) and I needed to know who so that I could reflect on the experience specifically etc etc - but she wouldn't tell me as she didn't have time or something. She'd known all day about the issues - and whilst I'd seen her about 15 times - most of the time with the obvious red puffy eyes etc that you can never control when you reeaaalllllyyyy need to! But not once did she show me even the slightest concern - to spite being the link mentor - she'd made her decision that it was poor midwife - horrible student! I don't know - may be they're right