Witnessed a delivery today by ventouse, and was told to 'receive' the baby from the doctor. It's the first time I have ever done this so was really nervous and worried about dropping the baby.

When the doctor passed the baby to me, I made sure I had a firm grip on him, then turned to walk away with him while he was still attached to the placenta. I didn't know where to look when the doctor and the midwives all shouted to me to stop.

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

i'm sooooo loving this thread!!!

watch this space though, can seriously see me posting plenty on here once i start my placements!!! x

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STUDENT MIDWIFE TO BE (HUDDERSFIELD 2008)

I knocked over a full sample of fresh urine all over the doctors brand new Medical Compendium

My mentor just looked and said 'well, he shouldn't leave it next to the sink' good point, but I bet he still owndered why it smelt of p*ss!!!

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If babies needed hands to guide them out,
wouldn't women be born with an extra pair
attached to their inner thighs?

haha You lot have had some accidents...

I was catheterising someone the other day, and was feeling ok about it as i had done it for the first time a few days before ok, and i pushed it in but couldn't understand why there was no urine coming out, as she hadn't peed in like 5 hours, i looked at my mentor who went, poker faced, "i think you've got the vagina", to which my mentor promptly walked over to the cupboard, got me a new catheter and made me do the whole thing again with a very red face! thankgod she had an epidural! and a sense of humour!!!!

I was doing this (messy) delivery the other day, the baby was born and out came a gush of Amniotic Fluid, in my direction, which i managed to avoid and it went on the floor. I then got an inco and put it on the floor so i could get ready to deliver the placenta. The placenta came and with it a gush of warm, thick blood ran off the bed, down my apron, on to my trouser leg and squelched into my shoe!
A few minutes later i went back over to check something, and promptly skidded on the inco i had put (the wrong way up- shiny side first) over the puddle of membranes and fell under the delivery bed in front of mom, dad, my mentor and another midwife! my mentor was in near hysterics outside afterwards telling the whole ward......

i came off that shift with a bruised knee and crusty blood stained trousers.....

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Women are like tea bags- they don't know how strong they are till they're in hot water!
"Don't wonder why people go crazy, wonder how they don't......"

any midwife who says that they have never catheterised a vagina is (a) lying and (b) embarassed

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Love Dory xxx
Just keep swimmin', just keep swimmin'....

Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

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Women are like tea bags- they don't know how strong they are till they're in hot water!
"Don't wonder why people go crazy, wonder how they don't......"

Mine was on postnatal ward on probably my second week....

My mentor and I had been assigned to look after this poor woman who had very recently lost her mum, then gone into Prem labour at 33 weeks, ended up with a crash section and a classical incision to the uterus in the middle of the night.
Baby was in NICU, and she wanted to breast feed, so I was sent in the morning after her section to teach her how to hand express some colostrum.

When I went into the room, she explained to me that she was feeling a little low as that day was her mother's funeral and she couldn't go as it was 100 miles away.

It took me a while to explain to her how to do it, and the colostrum took a while to flow. She was having difficulty hand expressing and sucking up the EBM in the syringe, so i offered to hold the syringe for her.

Well, we were chatting away about ehr new baby, who she couldn't wait to meet properly, when the syringe got full of air. I decided to squeeze the air out.

Unfortunately, the plunger got stuck halfway and me, being a total div, gave it an extra hard push and managed to squirt 1.5ml of the poor woman's EBM all over her face!

As you can imagine, I was horrified. Especially when the woman shouted "oh my god! you've wasted it!" Both of us then burst into tears, while I apologised profusely, and had to explain to her that yes, in fact i had actually wasted the whole lot. I felt sick to my stomache for being such an idiot!

Fortunately, after another 20 minutes of not really making eye contact and my apologising every 30 seconds, she managed to express a further 1ml.

It still makes me feel sick to think of it now...

Those syringes are evil tho, on SCBU I had just got NG tube down and was attempting to syringe the gold dust that is colostrum into the tube and the plunger just wouldnt budge so my mentor said give it a firm push, so I did and colostrum sprayed all over me and babe as it backfired at the top of the tube.

Talk about feeling rubbish!

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J
StudentMidwife.NET Founder & Director

"You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin in Pooh's Grand Adventure

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

This is not midwifery related but goes back to when my dd was born. I had to use a breast pump and was sitting on my bed with the battery powered pump attached and turned on but it wasn't doing anything?? Carried on for a few mins gradually turning it up higher when I noticed my bra was caught in the bottom of the cup bit. So what do I do? I pull the bra out without realising my breast pump was now on full blast! OMG never had I felt so much pain in that area as my nipple shot about 3 inches into the breastpump. My Oh who was sitting htere holding dd had to put her down as he was laughing so hard. So just warn your mothers to check if their bra is in the cup if it doesn't seem to work!

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Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

Is it really bad that I'm sitting here laughing hysterically?

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Love Dory xxx
Just keep swimmin', just keep swimmin'....

Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)