support from husband ???

Whats he got against you doing it thats what i'd like to know, so sit down with him and talk. Explain how important this is to you, and that you want to further yourself, and when you do get your place on the course (if you try again, which you must hehe!) you want his love and support. My partner just starting working full time and although its hard not seeing him as much I know that it will be great for him in the long run so I just have to get on with it and make the most of the time! Relationships are never going to be totally plain sailing, and I can only hope you two sort things out.

i think sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture. this may be an excuse to maybe get out or like you said your not doing what he wants and he doesnt like change. personaly by him reminding you the eldest 2 are not his, i think you have to tell him thats going below the belt, as if hes helping you raise them with your own children together then he should treat them as hes own,as children pick this vibe up or over hear and it may be upsetting for them because they may feel like they are not part of the family,im sorry if im speaking out of term but i was brought up by my stepdad and he and mum had 2 more kids and i had the same feeling. at the end of the day dont let him spoil your dream because who knows you could give it up and you may not be able to forgive him and then what do you do? you will end up resenting him forever. you have to do whats best for you and your kids good luck x x

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2009 will be my year

I can fully sympathise with you here, my husband is generally pretty good but occasionally a comment or complaint slips in Basically I left a part time job which was well paid - getting paid for 16hrs a week whilst only actually working 12 - that was 5 mins down the road. I now work as a ward clerk in maternity, doing 22.5hrs a week (4 evenings a week), it takes me 30 mins to get there, I'm spending a fortune on diesel and I'm probably worse off now than before due to the extra I spend on diesel....BUT, I'm happy because I'm working towards my end goal He just worries that we spend less time together and we're no better off financially...plus he's a little on the insecure side and worries that I'll meet some young hunky doc (yeah right!!!)
Stick with it, it's what you want to do and don't let anyone stand in your way
xxx

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Karen
Currently doing access course part-time Yay! I'm on my way now

I am feeling a little more positive today !!

Finished my access course...all handed in and ready to be looked at !!

While reading back other peoples comments it is nice to know there is support out there for me, i was feeling really deflated yesterday . Not really much better today in the relationship front but we havnt been able to talk yet.

Things seem to carry along fine for a few days then he will say/do something that just seems to remind me that i am not sure of our future.

I have spoken to him about this and i think he is in complete denial-he doesnt see a problem and tries to shift the blame onto me !!

I often start questioning myself to see if it is me that is in the wrong ??

But then i am reminded that i have every right to do what i want to in life and who is he to stand in my way !!!!!

So rant over and am taking a deep breath now. I am so grateful to the advice i receive and support i am offered on this site.

Big kisses to you all. XXXXX

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Was unsuccessful again , but will keep trying !!

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind......Gandhi.

Glad to hear you feel a bit more positive today Angie, and well done for finishing your access course, that must be a huge relief.

I really hope things work out for you, in whatever way you want, and however you feel is best for you.

Stay positive, you can do it hunni, good luck. x

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

PAB Support Worker

Hi Angie, I am sorry to hear about your unsupportive husband. My husband seemed very unsupportive while I was doing access, constantly moaning about the state of the house and me not spending enough time with him or the kids but then when I would blow my top and say that he was going to stop me going to uni, etc he would say that really wasn't the case and that if I didn't go then I would just be using him as an excuse when really he was supportive. But sometimes, especially the night before an assignment was due and I hadn't finished it, when I felt like giving up, he wouldn't let me give up.

I know I'm not making a lot of sense here, but what I'm trying to say is that men can sometimes seem unsupportive when really they are struggling with their new role as things change and they have to take on more household responsibilities. We all need a moan sometimes and it's usually the OH who gets it in the neck; and it's the same for men, they have a go at us just cause they need to vent but they don't always mean it.

It may not be the same for you and your hubby and only you know what's going on in your relationship but I really hope you can sort it out but whatever happens you know you'll always have us lot to support you. x

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Throughout the ages, the rainbow has been the symbol of hope, a promise of better things to come. The ancients greeks personified the rainbow as the goddess Iris.
Student Midwife!!
Moderator
SMNet University Student Representative


Do you want to write for the newsletter?? PM me, Karrierbag or Butterfly, opportunity is knocking.........

aww angie im so sorry hun

some men do not like change and do not lilke the idea of you
bettering yourself and he knows you will be independent and wont rely on him when you qualify

support is good when you doing the course but you need it without the arguments you will get the support of your cohort. talk to him he may feel that you dont need him anymore as you will grow to be a different person.

hoppe things work out for you hun xx

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Student Midwife jan 08



forum buddy!!!


Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

Hi Angie78,
just wanted to say please dont give up on anything because of a man .... I have done this in the past and now find myself studying hard to achieve my aims at 46 years old, now I dont have to answer to anyone its great .. Just let him know that you will do this with him or without him good luck ...you will get there in the end ...

I am half way through my access course and although it is hard I love it and cant wait for uni.... hopefully if I get accepted. I am a mature student 46 and a single parent to 5 daughters and my 3 year old grandson lives with me. Thankfully I have the support of my 2 eldest daughters with child care to him and my 12 yearold. I have just applied for a post in volunteering on the post-natal ward in a hospital . Do you think this will help me out a bit with my personal statement.

hello ..me again.

I'm really struggling at the mo, he has just created such a stupid arguement over the tv !!

I have said to my eldest dd that it is bed time ( 930 she is ten?? ) he sat there and blatenetly undermined me by saying why cant she watch the telly any more ???

All this in front of said daughter !!

I kept my cool and said i said it is time for bed now as it is late but he just kept on and on saying i am wrong for making her go to bed now ???

I dont think i can take much more of this, i really feel trapped in the relationship i keep meaning to say something but it is hard.

Yesterday we had another ' discussion' over the youngest daughter...my dad was here at the time and he said something and what did hubby do ???
Squared up to my dad and told him to keep his nose out !!

I was really shocked by this as i was only trying to hurry him along...it is not easy keeping a 2 year old away from the park ???

Hes gone to bed now in a huff !!!

Is that just really childish or what ??

Sorry for the rant but i dont really have anyone to talk to .

XX

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Was unsuccessful again , but will keep trying !!

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind......Gandhi.