support from husband ???

HI Hun,
I wouldn't take this !! sorry to be upfront, but my ex husband did this to my dad, and the relationship went down hill I couldn't speak to my dad know more. And do u know who was there when I left him, my dad !! lol be strong hun I know its hard but listen to your own heart. Its yourlife and your supposed to support each other, if this doesn't happen why bother u know.
good luck hun
and lots of hugs

Angie, so sorry you have to go through this...

We are all here for you, I so understand where you are right now, I have a bad history with fellas and he sounds very like a past few and has bits of my current one in there too!

Iam tempted to say cut him loose now, as he'd weigh you down. But that would not be fair really, would it? I think if he is not accepting any problems here and constantly having a nark at you all the time, seemingly about nothing thne you and him really need to get to the bottom of it.

This course tires the very strongest of relationships, beleive me! Most fall very early on, marriages aswell as partnerships too. It is a strain on you all.

I really hope you can get through to him, maybe he feels the usual insecurity and worry that his whole life will be turned upside down and you'll be leaving him behind, so he is trying to take control of things?

I would really try very hard to do this, and also write down how you feel about him, what are the good aspects of being with him, and the bad ones too, that may help you to get straight how you really feel about him.

I hope you guys get things sorted out, I have really been through the mill with my old man these past 18 months on the course, we are coming through it after splitting up and now being back together, hoepfully you two can get everything out in the open and sorted out (you know men though, it's never easy, eh?)

I am here for you, should you want someone to chat toxxxxx

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Thanks carla , i know my dad will be there for me.

I just need to build up the courage to stand up for myself. Its hard at the mo with the kids being off school and being in and out all the time.

And we are going out for the day on wednesday to blackpool !!

I just need to hold it together for the kids, do my feelings really matter ??

Oh god i cant believe i am writing this i sound like some poor down trodden wife when on the face of it i put up a front ??

I think it's gone past the point where it can be fixed now , and i feel he crossed the 'line' yesterday. I am really embarresed (sp?) that it happened in front of my dad ??

I feel as though i am swimming against the tide ??

xx

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Was unsuccessful again , but will keep trying !!

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind......Gandhi.

I am really sorry to say that there isnt really any good reasons to be with him ???

That sounds bad but i do feel stuck and trapped and desperate to get out and yet it still carries on day after day, we dont talk to each other, we dont wear our rings any more cause i dont feel it is a 'marriage'.

Its just an existance....and then in the middle of it is the three kids ??? I'm not being fair on them am I ??

How can i set an example to my children about marriage ??

He makes me feel guilty for wanting to better myself , he makes me doubt my abilities . He makes me feel like crap !

Not much left to build on ??

xx

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Was unsuccessful again , but will keep trying !!

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind......Gandhi.

Hiya Angie ;0)
Try not to worry my lovely. This is just a transitional stage and nothing last forever. The only constant thing is change. You'll look back, in a short while from now, and be so proud of yourself that you stuck it out. As others have said it is his insecurities and resistance to change. Both of your roles are being redefined and he may fear losing the old you. He will be trading in his old slippers for a new pair that need wearing in but eventually they will become just as comfy. Guess what I'm trying to say is that just a little adapting is needed. We all fear things we don't understand and feel threatened by the new. Keep positive and good luck ;0)X

Hi Hun,
I've sent you a private message, might be easier than talking in an open forum.
lots of hugs hun and positive vibes being sent your way

Many thanks for the online relationship counselling ...am off to bed now .

Will keep you posted ??

XX

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Was unsuccessful again , but will keep trying !!

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind......Gandhi.

Hi misrobbiewilliams.

Sounds like something is on his mind. My husband does it sometimes as I am sure others do.
The more you don't communicate and be honest the more you are going to feel trapped and then start to resent him because he cannot see your side.

When you really whant support from the one person you expect it from no matter what and don't get it. There is only one way to get to the bottom of it and that is talk. Even if he doesn't want to right then and there, get him to pick a time and make him stick to it. Try and get out of the house to have the conversation though. Its too easy at home to get up and walk into another room and the kids don't need to hear it if it get heated. Plus you never know some you and he time might be all thats needed.

Just remember you have the right to tell him how he is making you feel that is assertive behaviour, you have the right to ask him to support him and give examples of where it would have been useful rather than "you didn't do this"
You have to give him the chance to put his point over too, by listening and not trying to answer everything he says that you feel is negative, thats just confrontational. Sometime a "i didn't realise I did that or I didn't realise sorry" can get more of the behaviour you want from him.

Hey I am no realtionship expert but I do know that it works with my hubby who is on Seroxat and 9 times out of 10 doesn't care about anything but every now and then he blows up at the strangest of things.

Falling all else a slap works

Keep your chin up babe, its all swings and round abouts

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I'm so glad that i found this thread - my OH and i are not getting on - it would seem he believes that i'm leaving him behind and that i'm so busy that there is nothing between us.

QUite frankly i think he is jealous that i'm being brave enough to do something new, i'm like a few others of you on here and think that if we make it to the end of the next 3 years it will be a miracle!

Sorry no advice to give i'm afraid just wanted to vent a little

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Student Midwife
SM.Net Rep Leeds Uni

Oh me too so sad to say!! This site is so good for making me feel like I'm not alone! And I'm doing the late night posting again when I should be doing my access essay (or be in bed!). But I also feel like if we are together after 3 years it will be a minor miracle, and at what cost to the children?? Too tired for more details. Talk later!

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Question everything. Always.