I have just got home from an appt with a lady who is sorting out some voluntary work on a maternity unit for me (yipee) only to get attitude from the husband !!!

He has got the hump as i said i could go on fridays !! I go to college at the mo but am nearly finished. So rather than alter the current arrangments with childcare ect i would just extend them .

He also doesnt agree with the fact that i am willing to travel for 1 1/2 hours to work for three !!

I am just really doubting now if our relationship will survive the distance.

Things have been rocky for a while but i feel that he is always trying to find problems with my plans 'hole picking' my mum calls it .

I am fully prepared to go it alone and to be honest it will be one less thing for me to worry about. I am a little hurt by his actions though this was supposed to be a marriage after all .

Any words of advice or support would be greatly appreciated. XXX

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Will be applying in september for 2009 intake !!!

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Will be applying in september for 2009 intake !!!

So sorry to hear about this Angie,

How mean of him to dismiss the fact that you are trying to better the future for your famiy, as that is what you are trying to do. He should be encouraging you, not putting you down.

I would sit him down and tell him that...although I know you will already have done that, but make sure he knows why, and that even if he doesn't like it, you are doing it. Then it is his call, either he supports you, or puts up with it.

You deserve his support, and he should offer it, if the tables were turned, you would support him after all.

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

Thanks midwifemissy i think ever since i signed up for the access course he has been against it , i think he prefers me at home looking after the house !!!

Up until today i have been able to ride it out and just argue my case back, it is getting a little draining though. I just found myself being very frustrated by it all.

When i got home my parents were here too so i couldnt say too much. It is defo causing him problems he has even said i will need to find someone else to have the kids !!! (the eldest two are not his-and he keeps reminding me of this) I was so happy on the bus coming home from the hospital looking forward to working on the mat unit. He just seemed to burst my bubble.

I tell you what its a good job i'm "on the bloody computer again" or i would go mad.

Maybe J ™ should set up a marriage.net !!

XXX

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Will be applying in september for 2009 intake !!!

yup, it was May - ding dong the witch is dead!

Now, i know people doing the course in spite of their husband, not because of him, iyswim. People do get through it with crap support, but people also split up along the way because of crap support! Your relationship does not have to be rock solid for you to begin your training, but believe me, little chinks of light in it now will become gaping chasms as your course progresses! This is of course my opinion, but i have seen and heard about it happening a lot. The course places an unbelievable amount of strain on you, and the partner usually ends up resenting the fact that you are out furthering yourself whilst he is stuck at home with the kids.

The course is possible as a single mum, and there are a few of us on here, but it can be pretty lonely too. Sometimes having someone to sound off of is really important,.....but thats why i have fab cohort buddies!!

Only you know how bad things are, all i will say is that it is possible with him, and possible without him, the rest is for you to work out.
By the way, do you think his nit picking is already a sign of his insecurity? He is worried you will change i spose and this is his way of expressing it - mean are useless at saying whats really bugging them, aren't they?!

good luck hun, we're always here for you
x

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Site Administrator, Student Mentor Scheme Manager

STMW 2nd year - no, really!

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

Aww Angie,

It is so hard, I lived with that for many years, and it wears you down, wrecks your self confidence, and is just plain miserable.

If you can arrange for someone to look after the children, then you go for it hun, then he will see that he can't make all your decisions for you.

I can't understand why some men have to be so flaming narrow minded and awkward, I guess it comes down to the fact of their own insecurities, if you are at home all day, then you can't better yourself, and heaven forbid be better than they are...in their eyes.

I hope you go for it hunni, and i hope it all works out great for you, cos you know what? You deserve it.

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

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Coffeebean xx



Prospective Students Manager



Please help us raise funds for a bereavement room in Honey's memory by taking part in the SMNET Auction & Raffle here thanks x

Hi Angie

So sorry to hear of your man trouble.

Stay strong and listen to your intuition about what is right for you.

I am a single mum and all for J ™ setting up the marriage.net site! C'mon J ™!!!! x

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Nikki x

Hi Angie, im sorry your having problems at the mo.

I do agree tho with the other girls you deserve his support.

I hope your able to sit him down and talk about the issue and come to an understanding either way.

Good Luck we are here if you need to talk.

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Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

Hi

I have been through similar with my OH. However, I think it was fear of change with him. I didn't let it change my mind and he now seems to have accepted my decision and although there is still the occasional wee niggley comment he seems to understand how important this is to me and is broadly supportive. I basically told him that if he couldn't see how important this was to me and that I was not going to change my mind or back down then I would never be able to forgive him. That seems to have done the trick.

We shall see how he copes when I am actually in the midst of placements and studying though...............

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'Do or Do Not. There is no Try.' Yoda
Applying to UWS Hamilton Campus for 2009 entry!