Feeling really low need some advice :(

hi i really need to talk to some people who understand and i thought you lot would. im ment to be starting uni in sept but my world has just fallen apart and now dont think i can. i boyfriend has finished with me out of the blue and im now homeless sleeping on my sisters sofa about 300 miles away from where i live and am ment to be going to uni. my parents cant help me out financially or give me anywhere to live as they live abroad. i dont know what to do. ive been signed off work and am taking diazepam to help me sleep (never been on anything like that before) ive already handed my notice in at work but i spoke to my boss today and she called HR and retracted it to take the pressure off me. i really dont think that i will be able to defer my place now but do you know if i reapply for next year at the same uni would i be looked down on because i messed them about this year? I also applied to 2 other uni's this year and got offers at those too but i dont know if because they offered me this year and i turned them down would they be less likely to offer me next year? sorry this is so long. xx

Oh red22 - so sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Can't answer your questions as am only getting ready to apply but have (almost) been in your situation and I feel for you. Life will get easier but for now you need to be kind to yourself. September is a little while away and you might feel better in a couple of weeks. I would ring the uni to tell them you are having a hard time at the moment and just be honest.......what does everyone else think?
I know at the moment you probably feel like there is a big hole in your middle, but don't miss out on something you want because of this as I think you might regret it. Pm me if you need to talk
sending hugs

__________________
Frizzy bizzy and dizzy!

Firstly I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened, would you like me to run your ex over with my tank?

I am sure that if you spoke to your uni they could help. If you wanted to defer till next year I can't see why this wouldn't be ok, things happen to people all the time that they weren't expecting and uni's seem to be able to help them. I would give them a ring, explain the circumstances and take it from there.

Perhaps you are able to get a flat share, this was rent is cheaper, and atleast there'll be others around to talk to etc.

I don't think it matters whether you turned a uni down before, the fact they wanted you in the first place will hopefully mean they'll want you next year.

Keep us updated and I wish you all the love and luck in the world.

__________________
Middlesex Student Midwife September 2008
SM.Net Middlesex University Student Midwife Rep!

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low red. Have you spoken to the uni and explained the situation, I'm sure they would be very understanding and let you defer for a year given the extreme circuumstances. I don't think that they would think any less of you, as I think it takes a stronger person to admit they are having problems and try to deal with them like you are. i also think they would rather let you defer the year so you can start afresh when you have got yourself sorted, this is a better option than trying to force you to start knowing that you aren't going to be able to give 100% at the moment.

Good luck with everything, I hope you are back on your feet soon and you know where we all are if you need to chat.

xxx

__________________

thanks for your replies. i know i will feel stronger in a few weeks but i just dont think i will physically be able to afford to go this year now as i was counting on a certain amount of financial support from the boy. i think im going to be putting way to much pressure on myself going this year now being so skint i cant ever go out, having to work a second job and living in a new city all alone. YES PLEASE RUN HIM OVER WITH A TANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (actually dont cos i love him) i will take your advice and speak to the uni. fingers crosed. think im going to do the lottery too just in case x x

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear of your dilemma. I don't know if this will help but do your uni have a student support sytem that could help you with finding accomodation and help you with applying for grants etc for this. I know my uni has a financial continguincy fund and the people working in student support are really helpful. Might be an idea to give them a call first and see what they suggest before you call your tutor. They might be a real good help as at the moment its probably hard to see through the dark clouds and they will be used to dealing with all types of situations. I hope they can help and you find a way hun.
sending you hugs

oh red22, sorry to hear your news
men and timing just dont go do they?
i think you need to deal with it in chunks and not look ahead till next year, applications, uni etc.
First and foremost, you need to concentrate on you, and getting yourself in a good place, and to help you get there, you need to speak to uni and ask about defering. When you have the answer to this, you will hopefully have a glimmer of how you are then going to proceed.
in the meantime, hugs to you, we are all here when you need us
x

__________________
Site Administrator, Student Mentor Scheme Manager

STMW 2nd year - no, really!

thanks xx

Oh Red, I am so so sorry to hear about this, I know how devastating it is when a relationship ends without any prior warning. I really hope that you can either defer or get the financial help you need. Life has a funny way of working out for the best even when it doesn't seem like it at times. xx

P.S. Don't feel bad about feeling bad, it's gonna take a while for you to bounce back but you will get there.

__________________
Throughout the ages, the rainbow has been the symbol of hope, a promise of better things to come. The ancients greeks personified the rainbow as the goddess Iris.
Student Midwife!!
Moderator
SMNet University Student Representative


Do you want to write for the newsletter?? PM me, Karrierbag or Butterfly, opportunity is knocking.........

Red, I am sorry to hear about your relationship.
I have no words of advice but just wanted to send you some understanding (((( hugs ))))

Donna
XxXxX

__________________
Doing my access course september 2008