Please help adviceneeded about CRB check

I hope you lovely peeps out there can put my mind at rest. It is a bit complicated and rather personal but my ex, who is an absolute ar*e and has never financially contributed towards our four children got married a couple of years ago to a lady he met on the net from Tiwain (maybe spelt that wrong). Anyway it was Christmas time and my daughter had cut ties with him and not seen him since the March but on Christmas Eve he sent a text saying he expected her to be at his for Christmas lunch. I replied saying I would ask, which I did, and then informed him that she didn't want to. Well he blamed me and it went from bad to worse and it got to the usual mud slinging, you know the stuff how the new wife is so much better than you and that how much happier they are. Well it was late on Christmas Eve and I had had a few drinks and I was watching Little Britain at the time and the sketch came on with the man who had a bride from Tiwain called Ting Tong. I am not prode of it, and if I hadn't had a drink it probably wouldn't have happened, but I sent a text saying something along the lines that I hope he and Ting Tong would be very happy together. From then on in I was branded as a racist by him. Roll forward a year and just after putting my Christmas tree up there was a knock at the door. It was a policeman who had come to investigate a complaint of racisim towards me by my exs wife. I have to point out I do not see her or speak to her and the text I spoke of earlier was to my ex and not to her. The policeman took me into the kitchen, away from the kids, and explained there had been put a complaint in by my exs wife. I admitted that I had used the word Ting Tong in a text to my husband a year previous during an argument which was conducted via text. I really don't know if this would be classed as a caution or if it would appear on a record. Should I mention it or does it not matter. I also would like to add that this was done in spite by my ex cos we are currently going thorough a court battle regarding the children and he has been more than agrieved. Sorry I've rambled on but do you think this will ruin my chances? Would really appreciate your input. Don't want to go through all the proceedure of access course and applying for Uni if I haven't got a chance. Thanks my lovelies. xxxxxx

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Goddessmomma xxx
Have interviews on the 4th (Teesside) and 16th (Northumbria) of December!!!

Hey Im not sure bout this one but if he only talked 2 u about and havent heard anything else about it, it could be that ur exs wife has withdrawn her complaint? Why dont u try and contact the policeman that talked 2u or ur ex 2c what is happening? xx

Hiya, I think a warning stays on police records for 12 months and even then I'm sure you would have been told about it at the time? It was probably just "a word" the police man had with you as they have to investigate every single complaint that they receive. A caution is usually used as a warning type thing so if you were to re-offend within a period of time then you may be charged.

Personally I would leave it as I very much doubt it will still be on record.


Hope this helps! There may be someone on here who knows a bit more x x x

I believe that a caution is given following an arrest, at the police station. You would be aware exactly what it is. Therefore, you have just had your wrist slapped lightly by a copper who would probably have gone back to the station and told his mates what you did and why and would probably have had a laugh at her for making the complaint in the first place.

They should persue her for wasting police time.

I'm sure it won't go against you, but if it does come up, just explain it as you have here and it will be fine.

KS x

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Kentish Spitfire
Moderator, Student Services
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"It's better to be thought a fool - rather than proved a fool!"

I agree with the others, if it was a caution he would have told you that it was. Im sure youl be fine.

XXXX

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Have you just been offered a place? If so and you want a mentor please post in post this forum (also post here if you would like a mentee)

Hi - I did the CRB paperwork at Uni yesterday and we were told to highlight "any run in with the law no matter how small the incident". However, there were people checking through our paperwork as it has to be perfect (no scribbling out etc). So you could ask them at the time before you "tick the box". I would also contact police beforehand and ask if it was logged - in my experience (my sister was with police and is now a child protection social worker) if the complaint is made they cannot ignore it, it has to be logged in case there are further repercussions. Hope this helps somewhat and I hope you get it sorted. x

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Alvin McSmalvin

Never let a day pass that you will have cause to say, I will do better tomorrow...

FGS! Poor you, hun!

I would tell all, I am sure it won't be a problem, but if the uni find out some other way, they have a right to throw you off the course.

So IMHO it's always best to tell the whole truth and they can make of it what they will.

I am sorry they put you through that, ridiculous and you didn't deserve it

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i wouldn't have thought that it would be on your record - i have my full crb and i was spoken to about 'harrassing' my ex (when he owed me money and i rang him to get it back on 4 occassions) it never appeared on my record - the police i would assume get it all the time

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Student Midwife
SM.Net Rep Leeds Uni

Think a document agreeing to the caution has to be signed????? Along with a statement???? Could be wrong!
If the police only talked to you about the incident, and it was in your kitchen not the police station, then i doubt it would be on your record.
But if i were you, as has already been said, better to be honest about it! Can't imagine anyone would take that as a reason to stop you being on the course, as it's obvious your ex was just causing trouble!!

Hello Sweet things ;0)
You guys are great. Thank you so much for taking the time to help and ease my worries. The policeman did seem a little embarassed about the whole thing and although he didn't say it outright he too seemed to give the impression that he found it incredible that he was in my kitchen even talking to me a bout it.
My children like my ex's new wife and she is pregnant now so are looking forward to the new baby. As I mentioned it is all complicated and even I can't get my head round what is our so called "family life" at the moment!!!
Thank you for all your support and understanding. I was worried that I would wake up and people would have scrubbed me off their friend list..
I am not or every have been and never will be a racist. I'm a Spiritualist (which is in itself a religion that can still sometimes get the frosty reception) and as such I believe we are all one and the same. We are equal and it doesn't matter what colour, creed or religious preference (or no preference to that matter) you have.
There I go rambling again. Just wnat to send you all a big hug and say thanks again for everything. Much love to all ;0) xxxxxxxxxxxx

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Goddessmomma xxx
Have interviews on the 4th (Teesside) and 16th (Northumbria) of December!!!