Do women with children make better midwives?

I also think there are benefits both ways.

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Midwifemissy x

Student Midwife 2007
Student uni rep
Educational Resources Manager

PAB Support Worker

Good answer earlier by the way, I think it makes no difference on a personal level, but yes the women (usually in labour) do seem to ask, as your supporting them, and telling them how well they are doing.
A few of ours without children on the course often have this, they say no, but I'm trying to get all the tips I can from you lot exactly how its done! I think this is a good type of comment to make to women, makes them feel special, and after all the student is learning from the women, so its not untrue x

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i think it's the person you are that decides whether you will be a good midwife (does that make sense?!)

some women could have 2/3 kids but not have the persona to connect with the women they'll meet.

life experience is a valuable attribute to every walk of life but you should't dismiss people for not having the same experience as the next person else how will they learn.

all that should matter is that the midwife looking after you has the passion to want to be a midwife and to be there and help you.

two of my friends are childless wannabe midwives and i've no doubt that they will be fantastic, i'd have no prejudice about them being there with me if i was in labor x

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STUDENT MIDWIFE (HUDDERSFIELD 2008)

I do worry sometimes, that i'm too 'under-qualified' to work with women in labour having not gone through it myself... it got to the point where it was affecting everything i did, because i'm also quite young (only just 19), and i realised i had to put it aside and just do my best for the woman. My mentor said something to me which changed my perception of things, she said that it doesnt matter who you are, what you look like, what experiences you've had or how frightened you are, all the woman sees is someone in a uniform and assumes they can help, and that they know alot!

I think, it's more of a personal thing, and in my experience the women don't really tend to ask the question, except in passing conversation.

There's always the thing about childless midwives being a 'clean slate' somewhat, and not being affected by their own childbirth experiences which may be projected on to the current woman they're caring for.

I think it's a very difficult topic and one that will always be in debate! I'll let you know when, and if, i have kids, and whether or not i think i'm a better midwife (if i become one lol) because of it!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

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"With my hands, i have felt the strength it takes to grow, and release new spirit......."
"All the best births are the ones where you only have time to record times on a paper towel..."- a midwife, somewhere in the middle

you see, this is always emotive and why?

from those who have and think so, or those that haven't and think not?

Myself, I haven't has a C/S, epidural etc so can't empathise with all of it anyway!

Brain surgeons haven't had brain surgery, of all the other professions, I'd say a fair few have experienced their profession personally

Tbh, I 'd never have another now, no way!

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I think it can make a difference, I often have women saying to me 'does it put you off?' and things like that, women often just assume I haven't got children becuase of my age.

I think it means more to women if their midwife has had children. I dont think it affects my practice though (just makes me broody)! I agree that you dont have to have experienced something to provide the appropriate care.

Does anyone who has had children discuss their experiences with their women?

xxxxxx

I don't think women who have had children necessarily make 'better' midwives but i do sometimes wonder if they can empathise more? having been through the same process, ie getting pregnant, staying pregnant, giving birth (all always completely different even with same woman) a midwife who has had children knows the fears/worries ect but a midwfe without children can only imagine.
Every single life experience is compleely unique for every single person every single time so no-one can ever truly say 'i know EXACTLY what you are going though' because they don't, they can only go by their own experiences.

sorry this makes more sense in my head but reading it it seems like waffle

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OMG i am an ARU Student Midwife

Angela - Do you think being able to empathise my may actually work against midwives having "been there, done that"? Do you think it could encourage them to dole out pain relief more freely if they had a bad labour themselves? More stingy with the pain relief if they had a breeze of a pregnancy and labour?

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I have discussed my experiences with women, if they want to know, but never offer my own unless they ask directly. It does seem to be more important to them than us, and that warrants thought before action, whether they believe having children makes us better midwives I don't know, it's possible they might at times...

For me I managed labour without too much intervention, perhaps my pain threshold is higher, and many other contributory factors, and despite hospital labours my experience was generally good. Though I am passionate about normality and get disheartened seeing so much intervention, I am learning it has its place.

Personal experience also has its place and yes, if I am honest my own experiences can and do often help, but can work negatively too at times.

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i will always give brief details of my own experiences if asked by a woman, especially if it something which i have directly experienced tht they are now going through....but it's not about me, so it is brief believe me!!

Speaking from 'the womans' point to view, i do remember when i was in labour with my DS 8 years ago asking my midwife if she had children and being very put out when she said no!! At that time, suffering in that pain, it was actually incredibly important to me, that she totally understood what i was going through. Of course, looking at it in a rational way when not in labour I can see how ridiculous this was!!

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