Do women with children make better midwives?

I have to admit tho, not many woman ask me if ive had children, they are more interested in why ive chosen this career path.

I generally find its the older mum who will want to know more about my experiences. Instead of having experienced pregnancy, labour, birth etc myself i often share with women what other women have experienced if that makes sense (obv. maintaining confidentiality)!!!!

I find it really helps women esp. those who are experiencing difficulties, if they hear about how other woman coped and that other women have been in the same situation.

I would like to think that me not having had children myself doesn't have an impact of whether i will make a good midwife or not. I think the thing i find difficult is not having had the general life experience that others have due to my age.

I like your thinking, J.

Perhaps we get asked as women assume it is highly likely we have because of our age, I agree though with the thought that it will not in any way prevent you from being a good midwife (which you will be!) as whatever we have experienced it can never be everything, and it does sometimes blur my vision slightly, so may well do the same to others. I do think a midwife can be rubbish whether she has ten children or none, there is far more to being a midwife than that.

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I agree too, i often see women struggling to accept me because of my age, because it's fairly obvious i haven't got children, i'm nervous and inexperienced! I feel, sometimes, like i've got a lot more to prove than some of the others, do other bambinos feel like this sometimes too? xxxxxxxxx

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"With my hands, i have felt the strength it takes to grow, and release new spirit......."
"All the best births are the ones where you only have time to record times on a paper towel..."- a midwife, somewhere in the middle

Yeah i do sometimes feel that way, although i have got to admit I have had some really lovely feedback from women which is amazing.

I think there will be more of an issue with women wen us youngsters qualify because we will be expected to hav all the knowledge and experience and wont have our mentor at our sides. i think then women will find it hard to accept that we are competent.

xxxxx

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Student Midwife 2007

i do hear exactly what you are saying but i feel that if this is the case the midwife is then not 'wholly there for the woman', she should neither push for more or be inclined to give less due to her own experiences, as it is entirely different circumstances, her own experiences should never have a baring on the current situation this is probably an incredibly niave way to look at it, and i am fully open to changing my opinion

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OMG i am an ARU Student Midwife

Have all heart surgeons had heart surgery? Have all cancer nurses had cancer? Have the male obs n gynae dr's been pregnant? had a hysterectomy? had a miscarriage? ERMMM NO...

Same as.. Has one particular midwife had a normal delivery, a forceps, a ventouse, a section, a Prem delivery, a twin delivery, a breech delivery, a waterbirth, a pph, a APH, pre-eclampsia, a stillborn, a well whatever.. ERMMM NO..

So how can having children make you a 'better' midwife??

Personally I think its *******.. Yea so what you might have a kid but do you have the communication skills/support/sympathy/knowledge whatever to support a labouring woman and her family..

Not aimed at anyone personally, but this question really gets on my tits!

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Duel X
3rd Year!
Moderator

we were having a disscusion in our class the other day about this and the only way i see it please no one get offended this is from me being a mother point of view not a student

When i had my first baby im sure the midiwfe who delivered me was a student cant really remember but she just left me on a bed to get on with it and i didnt really know much about being up and mobile and she didnt give me no support at all

2nd baby the midwife i had she didnt have any children and she said to me its no that bad and she was just totally useless again no support

3rd baby my god what a totally different experience she had a little boy and she was absolutley brill i was in pain again she taught me how to use the gas and air properly she totally supported me during my labour and birth she rubbed my back she never said to me ohh come this is nothing she supported me she told yes you can do this rubbed my back and she said to me because i was crying is it because your in pain or scared and i said both and she said its funny how our bodies leave us forget the pain but make us go back and have another baby my partner was uselss 3 of my births have been totally different and i know that just because ive experienced birth doesnt mean to say mines the same as anyone elses but having pain the pain make you aware how much pain the woman can experience as childbirth is painful.

I dont think having a baby makes you a better midwife but i think you more aware about the pain but i also think the ones that havent had children should never say to a mum ohh its not that bad because it is painful i always say the pain is like a period pain times 1000.

sorry to go on scxx

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Access Course Student 08/09
Applying To Swansea Uni for 2009

But thats just different midwives?!?

I've had no kids.. But still wouldn't leave a labouring women and I think I give good support...

But also know midwives that HAVE had kids that just 'leave' women and give crap support...

Its got nothing to do with whether the person has had a kid or not!

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Duel X
3rd Year!
Moderator

yes i agree duel that not all midwives with children are better at te end of the day you either get a nice midwife or you dont regardless if they have kids or not xxxxxx

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Access Course Student 08/09
Applying To Swansea Uni for 2009

The fact is... You're either a good midwife or you're a crap one. You either give good support and help women feel relaxed and in control, or you're not supportive and leave women feeling lost... I think to a lot of women you're a uniform and by seeing your uniform, they assume you can help them. I certainly didn't ask my labour ward midwife if she'd had children, though I did ask my community midwife... in an effort at starting conversation!!! It shouldn't be important whether a midwife has or hasn't got/had children. I think a lot of women would go quiet after getting the answer "no" because.. well thats the end of that conversation, isn't it!

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