Do women with children make better midwives?

I personally dont think so, some of the best midwives I have met are men, they listened, were gentle with internals, were firm but fair etc. Also I have had four babies, three had pre eclampsia, one PROM, one failed induction, one stillbirth, one 27 hour labour with syntocin, one cord rupture because of speed of delivery, one baby in distress so emergency c section, had PND with my first two, two af babies, one bf so you see quite a varied list but I have not experienced it all, so in certain situations it would be just like I had never had a baby, and finally we have to rmeber every mother and every baby is different.

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I remember someone telling me that you 'don't have to have been a horse to ride one' in relation to this question!!

I really think that it doesn't matter wether you have kids or not. As Tasha said above, everyone is different and no 2 women/labours are the same.

It's knowledge, empathy, commitment, professionalism etc etc that makes a good midwife - not wether she has kids or not!

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waving, not drowning!!

I don't think it is an advantage I think it is all down to the person and how they are, I have had 3 pregnancies all very different, I have never had a nice experience of pregnancy. My eldest was born after a 39 hour labour, he was born with a blood clot on the placenta and I needed 4 blood transfusions, my second was a little girl who was stillborn at 30 weeks due to a concealed abruption, I was induced and it took 4 days to work, in the end I was so sore down below that I was allowed to swallow some of the tablets! I also had a reaction and turned blue, my 3rd was a very emotional pregnancy I had quite a few scares and suffered badly with water infections, I was induced at 38 weeks and when I was fully dilated and ready to push Jai got stuck and did a poo, I was rushed into theatre for a section, they realised then that I had a bleed on my uterus so was in theatre for ages while they stopped it.
I have my experiences of pregnancy but everyone else's are different, I think what midwives need to do is put their experiences to one side as the experiences of the women that they are caring for are not our experiences so they all different the midwife that cared for me with Jai had never had children herself but she was brilliant, yet the one that was in the delivery room who had children was absolutely rubbish, not very understanding and harsh with her words. Does that make sense? I hope it came across as I wanted it to.
Donna
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Doing my access course september 2008

I'm sure I'v already posted on here but I can't see it...might be going mad lol!

I have had 3 babies and met many midwives throughout my care... the one that sticks out most in my mind was a lovley lady who was only around 21/22 and had no children of her own.
She gave me the best support while I was giving birth, she knew exactly what I needed and when to leave me be its like she knew what I was thinking. She was amazing she was definatly destined to be a midwife and as I say, no kids of her own. This experience really opened my mind out because at the time I would have assumed midwives who had been through it were better than those who hadn't.

Its really down to the sort of person you are. I know that I would not have been ready to do this before I had my children as they have made me grow and mature as a person but thats my personal circumstances we are all very different people just because it was like that for me its not going to be like that for everyone.

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Busy Mum to 3 beautiful little boys
First year student midwife!

I dont think you can determine whether or not you would make a better midwife with or without children your own children. I thinks its the person that you are who makes a good midwife not whether you have children or not. x

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x time will only tell x

Such a good topic, and quite an emotive one. I'm a childless older midwifery student, and I'm rarely asked the question - but I've worked with mentors younger than me who are constantly asked, and I've been in the embarrassing situation when they've rebuked that midwife and asked me (because I'm older?)

It's one of those things, like the eternal question, "do you like babies then?" which is all about peoples' assumptions. A midwife must like babies because she works with them all the time, right? Wrong - I spend as little time as possible with the babies because I want Mums to do that!

I do have someone on my cohort who's only remarks in class are in the vein of, "that happened to me / I didn't find that when I had my kids". Personally, I find it worrying that she could be like that in practice - it's a 'case study' and not the best kind of evidence. If something personal or that I've experienced is especially pertinent I'll share it, but otherwise I do try to stick to the evidence with women. And there's plenty of 'soft' stuff out there to let them know that they are not alone.

I think one of the most important soft skills we need to have as midwives is empathy. Empathy isn't dependent on experience, and it's not something you can learn - you've either got it or you haven't!

*gets back down off soap box*

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I've got three kids, all pregnancies different, all labours and births different. If I had been asked this question prior to having any kids I would probably of said yes, but since having kids I now feel that it isn't so important.....does that make sense? In my opinion just having someone there that knows what they are doing, who is able to communicate with you, is far more important than if they are a parent or not.

As we all know the word midwife means being with woman and that is something that can be achieved with or without the experience of childbirth. As others have mentioned I do believe it is more to do with the sensitivity of the individual and the willingness to strive to help the labouring woman to achieve her goals as laid down in her birth plan than how many children the midwife has had. That said I do think, as human beings, we can have a belief that those who have gone through a similar experience can understand at a more personal level. This does not, however, make a better midwife. You could get a midwife who has had a dozen children of her own but just can not relate to those in her care. Children or not the thing that make a good midwife is one who is focused on the care of her lady, dedicated to helping the woman achieve her birth plan and one who is sensitive to the ladies needs, fears and aspirations. A good connection and the ability to read those non-verbal signals. What makes a brilliant midwife is an individual who is dedicated to the needs and comfort of the labouring woman and ensuring the safety and wellbeing of both baby and mother.
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Goddessmomma xxx
Have interviews on the 4th (Teesside) and 16th (Northumbria) of December!!!