Single Mum concerned about childcare for shifts

Hello everyone!

I think I have decided today to be brave and apply for Midwifery. The only thing stopping me really is the fact that I am a single Mum to a boy who will be 3 years old when I start the course (if I get on!) and my Mum, who is my main supporter when it comes to babysitting etc, is a full-time teacher and lives 40 miles away.

I am not at all unwilling to work shifts but I am aware of the problems these are going to cause in terms of childcare. Recently, I have struggled to find an 'out-of-hours' childminder who is willing to have my son while I work Saturdays at a new job, however during my search, I did notice that some of the minders were insured to offer overnight.

This is something I really need to do and like going ahead with my shock pregnancy, it won't be easy but it won't be impossible either. I don't want to be like my Mum, who at 55, constantly says she regrets not training to be a midwife because she believes it is her vocation.

I can't be the first lone parent in the world to want to train as a midwife - any feedback that may help me?

I'm a lone parent with two boys 3 and nearly 1 and started in September, my mum like yours is my main...make that my only out of hours childcare and not to put a downer on your plans but I am still worried about how this will all work!!

8-6 mon-fri my two are in nursery which is costing a bomb, when one is ill like they have been this week I have missed uni which is hard and know it is going to be hard for my mum when it comes to my shifts but really hope that for the 6 week blocks we are out on placement she will be able to manage. She realises like I'm sure your Mum does that this is my dream and is also my way of making a better life for me and my boys.

Don't want to put you off but thought it would be better to be realistic than to just tell you it will all be ok. It is hard and my Mum lives round the corner, is there a uni closer to your mum and then maybe you could move and be closer? Just a thought, other idea I have is maybe you and Mum apply together, little one in nursery during uni time and hopefully could alternate shifts when it comes to placements. That way you help each other and both achieve your dream. Good luck and if I can help at all just shout x x x

Thanks for your honest advice but I knew that was how it would be. There is a regular train to Mum's from here and it is only down the motorway. There is a uni near her that does it but I am so happy living here (had to live at Mum's for 2 years after having my son, it was so quiet and lonely and I got very low, love living in the city). I don't think Mum would give up teaching so late on in life as she is 55 but obviously a lot of the time she is off on school holidays. Also, I have a close ex-colleague in her fifties who always helps me out when it comes to childcare and lifts, she is like a second grandmother to my son and nothing is too much trouble for her so I am sure that she will help me out. What I was trying to find out was how much is placement but if it is in 6 week blocks as you say, I am sure my Mum and my friend could work something out between them. Also, I have found a number of local childminders who are insured for overnight care. Leo is in nuirsery at the moment but I get help with tax credits and from next September, under our LEA, he entitled to a full time nursery place so this will keep childcare costs down a little.

Sounds like you have it pretty well covered! Where there's a will there's a way after all! Good luck with it my love! x

Where there is a will, there is a way. Also, don't forget that by starting college and then uni, you'll have a whole new range of friends who also may be able to chip in if needs be if you're willing to return the favour to help them out! Living in a city, I'm sure there will be overnight childminders if needs be, but they will be expensive!

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I have already found one reasonably priced overnight childminder - the only reason why she can't help me out at the moment is because a family member is terminally ill but she did say she would be more than happy to help out 'in the future'.

Like you say, where there's a will, there's a way. If someone had told me that I would have been a completely single Mum with a degree and a Masters under my belt and that I would have taken my son backpacking round the world at 20 months old I would have laughed at them but I have done all of that. My motto since deciding to continue with my pregnancy is 'It won't be easy, but it won't be impossible'.

I am bowled over by how positive and welcoming everybody is on this board! I was expecting 'Don't even bother', 'It will be a complete disaster' and other negative comments x.

Wow well it seems like you have it all covered, in which case go for it!!! Glad you have more accesible support than just your Mum and an overnight childminder sounds good, nothing like that round my end. x x x

Hun I think you are the kind of person that if you put your mind to it come hell or high water you will succeed. I admire you and wish you well. As Noo says where there is a will there is a way. What is meant to be will happen as well... Hold on to your dream and when the going gets tough, and it will for all of us, you keep reminding yourself of those huge accomplishments you have done and nothing will stop your reaching your goal. Sending lots of love your way xxxxxxxxxxx

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Goddessmomma xxx
Have interviews on the 4th (Teesside) and 16th (Northumbria) of December!!!

There are lots of single mums on the course, some who started out that way and some who have become single mums, you would get alot of help financially which helps and lots of childminders offer overnight stays and you wouldn't do too many nights to start with either. All the single Mum's mange and manage very well, and you can also gain very good friends on the course who you can help and they can help you too!

Even though I am not single, some shifts are difficult to organise for, so you manage one day at a time, as I am sure you did with your unexpected pregnancy!

If it is your true wish to be a midwife, you'll overcome these obstacles and make it through, just as we do. It's tough, and stressful, tiring and emotional but also magical, inspiring and worth every single second, so go for it, you'll sort out these things as you go!

good luck to you, you deserve to make it and be happy!

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Once again thanks to you all for being so positive and welcoming. I am now preparing my personal statement and will be posting it on the board for feedback as I am not on a relevant course and do not have any guidance.